'AITA for making my husband cancel his road trip with a 'friend' I've never met?' UPDATED

"AITA for refusing to refund my husband for his flight?"

My husband, Greg, has a road trip coming up with his friend, Mark, and 2 of Mark’s other friend who my husband has never met. The guys plan on taking Mark’s RV for a drive to Key West and back. The trip has been planned for a few months now and it’s now a few weeks out from when they should be departing.

I mentioned to my husband how I’ve never met this friend, although they have been friends for a few years now, and we should be safe and exchange emergency contact info. He frowned and I immediately said if u don’t want to leave anything with me or give anyone my number, you should at least use your dad or brother. This guy then says well I guess I’m not going.

Just from that he decides I’m being unreasonable and now he isn’t going on the trip. This was a few days ago so fast forward to now and he texted me saying I am the reason he isn’t going bc of my “concerns” and I now owe him money for the flight he booked to Key West. It is nonrefundable. I question him bc as far as I knew the guys would pick him up, drive to Key West, And then drop him off at home.

He said no, bc of work he was having to fly there to meet them and then they would drive back and drop him off home. This is total BS. Mind you ANYTHING my husband wants to do, he does. Whether I have a say so or not he does what he wants. In my eye’s he didn’t want to go and now he is trying to get me to foot the bill on the flight money. AITAH for refusing to pay him?

What do you think? AITA for refusing to refund her husband's trip? This is what top commenters had to say:

[deleted] said:

This is ridiculous. You need to refuse to discuss it any further. First tell him:

- It is normal to exchange contact information when a family member is going on a trip. Anything he chooses to do other than that is 100% on him.

- It is a major problem that he is doing something so irrational and trying to make you feel bad about it. Ask if he is OK because this is bizarre. Is he looking for an excuse not to go? Is there a problem in your marriage where he feels the need to hurt you? You need to find out.

However, do not discuss his crazy decision any further. Don't get sucked into any conversations about it. It's on him. Frankly, I wonder if there's something about this trip he doesn't want to share. His behavior is so weird that I'm wondering if the trip is to rob a bank or join a commune.

Bulky_Specialist9645 said:

He's cheating. Why else would someone get so upset for just asking for emergency contact info? NTA

Heavy-Quail-7295 said:

NTA what the heck? "Please leave emergency contact info with someone since I don't know these people." "I'M LIVING IN A PRISON!!"

Dude flipped for no reason. I was planning the same trip, and my wife knew everything. Names, numbers, all that.

celticmusebooks said:

I think you know there's something else going on here. His over the top reaction is a HUGE red flag that he's hiding something major. Either "Mark" is actually "Marsha" or, as another poster suggested a "Brokeback Mountain" scenario. I'm assuming you have separate finances or he wouldn't be asking for you to repay the plane ticket.

Does he have a credit card you don't have access to? Do you have access to each other's phones?

About a month later, she shared this update:

Thanks for the advice everyone. Cheating has never crossed my mind nor has Mark being a Markina! I’ve been with him for a long time and honestly some people are just truly ass holes. After the traction on this post, I did FT him out of curiosity. He travels for work so is away right now. He did not answer. After an hr or so he FT me back in his hotel room.

I let him know I’m not crazy, I asked the masses and I absolutely was not being unreasonable for refusing to pay. He now says he is going on the trip. I let him know I’m not feeling how things are going and he can do what he wants. I’m done catering to him and trying to be a good wife. It all seems to come at the expensive of my self-worth and pride.

I see the gaslighting, I see the behavioral demands for my total submissiveness, and feel the lack of both empathy and sympathy. I told him I’m done living in denial and things need to change. His response, one word, “Perfect”. That was around 9pm. I went quiet on him and he hasn’t tried to reach out to me.

Most of all I’d like to say, yall don’t know how bad I wanted that break from him to even go on the trip, so to change his mind, I was pissed. Then telling me to pay for the ticket, I was ready to go super saiyan in the Publix parking lot when I saw the message.