'AITA for refusing to share my college savings with my step-siblings?' 'My mom saved it for ME.'
"AITA for refusing to share my college savings with my step-siblings because my mom saved it for me?"
Hi everyone, I’m Sienna (19F), and I’m currently a student. Growing up, I lived mostly with my mom after my parents divorced, but I spent weekends and holidays with my dad, his wife (my stepmom), and their two kids (8F and 6M). While I love my dad, I’ve always felt like an outsider in his new family.
When I was younger, my mom started a college savings fund for me. She worked so hard to build it up over the years, and it’s the reason I’ve been able to go to college without drowning in debt. My dad didn’t contribute much to it—he said he had other expenses, especially with my younger siblings—but I’ve always been grateful for what my mom did.
Last weekend, during a family dinner, my stepmom casually mentioned that my younger siblings are going to need help paying for college someday. Then she turned to me and asked if I’d be willing to “share” some of my college fund with them since “we’re all family.”
I was completely caught off guard. I told her I couldn’t because that money is specifically for my education, and my mom worked really hard to save it for me. She got upset and said I was being selfish, arguing that my siblings are young and will need support when they’re older.
My dad chimed in, saying it would mean a lot to the family if I contributed, even just a small portion. I told them I understood their concern, but that this wasn’t something I could do. My stepmom ended the conversation by calling me ungrateful and storming out of the room.
Since then, my dad has been distant, and my stepmom barely speaks to me unless it’s to throw a passive-aggressive comment my way. Even my mom thinks I shouldn’t have entertained the conversation at all, but I didn’t want to cause a bigger fight. Now I’m wondering if I handled this the wrong way. AITA for refusing to share my college fund with my step-siblings?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
FlyHarper said:
NTA That's your college money. You need to use that for your education.
TheDarkSide46 said:
"She got upset and said I was being selfish, arguing that my siblings are young and will need support when they’re older." Tell her that's your job not mine or my mothers to pay for your kids, NTA.
GemmaGlade said:
NTA. It's your education on the line, and your mom put in the work specifically for you. Families should support each other, but not at the cost of one person's opportunity. Maybe remind your dad about priorities and respect for each other’s hard work.
AiahGlimpse said:
NTA at all. It's awesome that your mom could set that up for you and you should definitely honor her effort by using it as intended. Family doesn't mean you owe your future to them. Keep your head up and focus on your studies!
down_to_earths said:
NTA. Your stepmom's request was unreasonable and insensitive. Your college fund was saved specifically for your education, and your mother worked hard to make that possible. It's understandable that you would want to protect that investment, especially considering your unique circumstances growing up.
SugarHanny said:
Absolutely NTA. You're just protecting what your mom worked hard for, and it was meant for you. It’s tough feeling like an outsider, and even tougher when asked to give up something so important. Hold your ground, sis!