'AITA for refusing to share my lottery winnings with my boyfriend?' 'He joked about how he'd spend it.'
"AITA for refusing to share my lottery winnings with my boyfriend after he joked about how he’d spend it?"
I (25F) recently won $50,000 from a scratch-off lottery ticket. It’s the first time I’ve ever won anything big, and I was over the moon. My boyfriend (27M) and I have been dating for about two years, and while we don’t live together, we’ve talked about taking the next step soon.
When I told him about my win, he was excited at first, but then he started joking about how he’d spend it. At first, it was lighthearted stuff like we’ll buy a fancy new gaming setup or finally upgrade my car. But as the night went on, his jokes got a little more serious.
He said things like, “I guess I don’t have to save for that trip to Europe anymore—your treat!” and “Finally, you can help me pay off some of my credit card debt.” I laughed it off initially, but he kept going and started talking about bigger things, like putting a down payment on a house together, all with my winnings.
It rubbed me the wrong way, especially since we haven’t even had serious conversations about combining finances. When I told him I planned to save most of it for myself—maybe invest or use it to pay off some of my student loans—he got upset and said I was being selfish. He said that couples share everything and that it was our win, not just mine, because he’s supported me through a lot.
The thing is, I bought the ticket with my own money, scratched it myself, and never promised to share it. He’s now calling me greedy and distant, saying this shows I’m not serious about our relationship. AITA for not wanting to share my lottery winnings with him?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
torrent_gp_victim said:
You actually won twice!!! First the $50k, then an even greater value. Insight into who you are dating. Get away from him now.
Angelblade92 said:
NTA - He has no rights whatsoever to a cent of that money nor should he be dictating how you spend it. Don’t let him manipulate you into covering his debts, you likely won’t ever come into such a large amount of money like that again.
Constant_Jelly52 said:
NTA you are not married and not living together. None of it is his. Also I’d consider reevaluating the relationship. His actions now are just the tip of the iceberg.
Rainbow-Sunshine185 said:
NTA. It’s your win, and you’re allowed to decide how to spend it. He’s being unreasonable if you never agreed to share it.
Trishiechiks said:
NTA. Winning the lottery doesn't suddenly make your money communal property, especially when you're not married or living together. It's important to establish boundaries about finances early on. It's great that he supported you, but support isn't a transaction that you repay with lottery winnings. Keep doing you and invest in your future!"
TickityTickityBoom said:
NTA - pay off all your debt or use it all to pay off as much as possible. The dead weight of that is such a burden, in addition have a strong word with the dead weight of your bf. When a couple is married then finances are shared, you are dating, two very different relationship statuses.