'AITA for refusing to share my space with my cousin and her kids?' 'I plan to LEAVE.'
"AITA for refusing to share my space with my cousin and her kids and planning to leave while they’re staying with us?"
I (29F) co-own a home with my mom and sister. I live in the basement, which has been my private space. Today, my mom told me that my cousin from overseas (who I barely know) and her two young kids are coming to stay with us for the entire summer, and that they'll be staying in the basement with me in the spare room.
I protested and she called me selfish. I don’t even know the names of my cousins' kids at all, and I value my personal space and quiet. I also work night shifts so when I come home in the morning to sleep I don’t want to be disturbed with any noise.
Also, my mom and sister are going on a 10-day cruise next month, and I was really looking forward to having the house to myself for once. My family can be pretty overbearing.
When I brought this up, my mom just said, “Well, now you won’t be home alone!” like that was a good thing. I told her she made this decision without considering me at all and that I don’t plan to host or entertain anyone while they’re gone.
For added context: the last time a cousin stayed with us from overseas, my mom pressured me into giving her money so she could shop. I’m afraid that history will repeat itself, but 3x as much since she's bringing her kids too.
At this point, I’m so upset I’m seriously considering going to a hotel for those 10 days just to have peace. It feels like my space and comfort were completely disregarded and I don't want to give up my personal space. AITA in this situation?
Later, OP edited the post to include:
My basement space is fully open to the upstairs there’s no door, just a staircase. So it’s not like I can lock anything or really block off my space, plus the laundry room is in the basement which everyone needs access to.
Yes, I legally co-own the home. My name is on the title and the deed. I live in the basement, which has its own living area and bathroom. There are two rooms down there, mine and a spare room that my brother uses when he visits like once a month, but he only stays for a weekend when he comes.
That spare room is the one my mom is giving to my cousins. They won’t be in my actual bedroom, but since the basement is open with no door separating it from the rest of the house, I’ll basically be sharing my entire living area with people I don’t know all summer.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Riker_Omega_Three said:
If you co own the home with your mom, you make it clear...your mom can't volunteer your space for her guests..and that your family will not be staying with you in the basement. Period. NTA.
scrotalsac69 said:
NTA - Tell them you want your 3rd out of the house as you can't enjoy it anymore.
CandylandCanada said:
NTA. Time to get very specific and be very direct. "Mom, I'm a part owner of this house, so I get an equal say in what happens here. I will not allow cousin and kids to stay here. I will change the locks if necessary, will not allow them in and will not give them any money.
You should notify cousin TODAY so that she can make other arrangements. I will not change my mind, so save your breath on trying to get me to change my mind. This is my final word on this matter."
ScarletNotThatOne said:
NTA. Your co-owner tells you that you're going to be giving up your space? I don't think so.
whoreallycarz said:
NTA. I would be completely devastated if I thought I was going to have 10 whole days to myself and then learned I was going to be surrounded by strangers instead. You really need to get your own space.
HolSmGamer said:
NTA. You are welcome to go wherever you want with your own money. That being said, you are a 29 y/o, you don't have to cater to them at all if you don't want to. You are also a partial owner of the home so you can set (reasonable) rules for them to help make your time bearable. You shouldn't have to waste your money on a hotel.
RequestSingularity said:
Make sure you get a lock for your room before you go. NTA. They just want free babysitting.