'AITA for refusing to spend my work bonus on my sister-in-law’s wedding?' 'I'm being punished.'

"AITA for refusing to spend my work bonus on my sister-in-law’s wedding?"

Okay. I honestly don’t even know where to begin because this whole thing feels like a trap I didn’t sign up for. I’m 27. I work full time. I got a pretty decent performance bonus from work recently nothing wild, but enough to give me some breathing room. My plan? Use it for our kid’s savings. Not even for myself.

Not for a vacation. Not even a new phone. Just stash it away for my son. Because let’s be real life’s expensive, and I don’t want him to struggle the way I did growing up. Anyway. My husband knew about the bonus. I told him straight up. I said, “Let’s save this for our kid.” He nodded. Agreed.

Said I was being smart. But then came his sister’s wedding. And suddenly, it’s like my money isn’t mine anymore. First, it was little suggestions. “Maybe you could help with the flowers.” Then it became bigger. “The venue deposit is due next week, maybe you could...”

And before I could even blink, his mom was calling me, talking like it was already decided. “You’ll cover the catering, right? You just got that bonus.” Excuse me?? I said no. I said it nicely at first. I explained our plan, reminded them that we wanted to build something for our kid. My husband? He just sat there.

Didn’t back me up. Just sat quiet while his mom guilt tripped me over “family” and “celebrating once in a lifetime moments.” When I didn’t budge, they turned on me. His mom said I was selfish. His sister texted me some passive-aggressive crap about how “some people only care about their own.”

My husband? Yeah, he finally said something. He said I was “overreacting” and it was just “one bonus” and we can “always save later.” Like… are you serious? I work full time, manage our bills, handle everything in the house, and you think I owe your sister my bonus? Now the house is weird. I barely speak to my MIL.

My husband’s cold. His sister’s wedding is next month and I was uninvited. They said, “It’s best you don’t come if you’re going to act like this.” Act like what? Like someone who just wants to protect her kid’s future? I’m honestly at my limit. I feel like I’m being punished for thinking ahead.

Like I’m being treated like an ATM just because I married into their family. And no one seems to care how hard I work, or how scared I am about the future. So yeah… I said no. I kept the money for our son. And now they all hate me. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

EduPepper said:

NTA. The fact that your husband sat there and said nothing while his family ganged up on you is the biggest problem here. He's supposed to be your partner, not a silent spectator. You have a major husband problem, not a SIL problem.

ottttd said:

NTA. The moment he said "we can always save later" he showed you his priorities. And its not with you or your kid.

Zelaznogtreborknarf said:

Sounds like it should be used for your anti-wedding...aka divorce. NTA.

anzacoo said:

NTA - you don’t have an in-law problem, you have a husband problem. And this won’t be the last ask either. Next it’ll be medical bills or a replacement car or whatever. You need to take a deep breath and ask your husband where his loyalties lay.

medium_buffalo_wings said:

NTA - Dude, your husband is showing his true colors and demonstrating who the priorities in his life are. Hint: It ain’t you or your kid.

canthaveme said:

NTA. Honestly think your husband is pathetic. He not only didn't defend you, he agreed with his crap family