'AITA for Refusing to Support My Little Brother's Lavish Lifestyle After Years of Being Spoiled by Our Parents?'
"AITA for Refusing to Support My Little Brother's Lavish Lifestyle After Years of Being Spoiled by Our Parents?"
Jolly-Turnover5018
I (31F) have worked really hard to get where I am today. My family wasn't poor, but we definitely weren’t rich either. Growing up, my parents were always careful with money, at least when it came to me.
But when my little brother (25M) came along, it’s like they forgot all about that.
They spoiled him to no end. Anything he wanted, he got. No questions asked.
Meanwhile, I had to work for everything. I got a job at 16 and paid for most of my own stuff through high school and college. Now, after years of hard work, I’m finally in a good place financially. I have a stable job, a nice home, and some savings to fall back on. It’s taken a lot to get here, and I’m proud of it.
But my brother is a completely different story. He’s never had to do anything for himself. My parents gave him everything, from the latest gadgets to expensive vacations.
They even paid for a fancy university that he ended up dropping out of because he “didn’t like it.” Now, at 25, he’s still living at home and living a lifestyle he can’t afford on his own.
The issue now is that my parents are starting to struggle financially. They’ve spent so much on my brother over the years that they’re having a hard time keeping up with his demands.
They’ve asked me multiple times to help out with his expenses, and for a while, I did. I paid off his credit card debt, helped with his car payments, and even chipped in for rent when he briefly tried to move out. But recently, I feel like he’s just taking advantage of me.
He recently came to me asking for a huge amount of money to fund a new "business idea" he has—except it’s not a real business, just another hobby he wants to try out with no real plan.
When I said no, he freaked out and accused me of not caring about family. My parents, of course, took his side, saying that I’m doing well enough to help him out and that it’s my duty as his sister to support him.
I love my family, but I’m starting to feel really used. My brother refuses to grow up, and my parents just keep enabling him. I’m tired of being the one who always has to bail him out, especially when he’s not even trying to be independent.
I’ve worked hard to get where I am, and it doesn’t seem fair that I should have to fund his lifestyle just because I’ve been responsible with my money. So, AITA for refusing to support my brother’s lavish lifestyle?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
ERVetSurgeon
NTA. Stop being his ATM. If your parents want to do that then it is their money and they are wasting their retirement on him. They created this monster so let them continue to feed it. The only thing your brother has learned in life is how to use people.
Jolly-Turnover5018 (OP)
Thanks for that! I see it the same way We are not helping him by spoiling him!!!
ParaABnormalActivity
You don't have to sponsor any other adult's lavish lifestyle. If 25M wants to have things he can't afford, he can get a job or kick rocks.
Briiiiiiyonce
NTA. The fact that you haven’t at least gone LC or NC with these losers is astounding. I would start now. You owe them NOTHING. I’m sorry they have always treated you this way.
Jolly-Turnover5018 (OP)
Hi, I know what you mean .... but yeah hopefully they will see the mistakes they made by spoiling him ...
Briiiiiiyonce
It’s also easy to see why you haven’t. They’re your family. But OP it won’t change. I mean now that they’re financially struggling instead of saying “Wow look what we have done how can we change for the better?” they expect you to fund his lifestyle.
They want you to fund a lifestyle for an entitled ignorant lazy punk you who doesn’t deserve it. They demand it actually. They think he deserves it more than you do. You worked your ass off. Don’t ever give in.
RogerPenroseSmiles
I've got a script for you. "You're a massive loser who has proven no competence in any form of business or making money. To invest with you would be utter folly. If you can get a loan from a bank go get it and then pursue your business idea. I'm not your bank I'm not your sugar mama I am not your get out of jail free card. Be a man and stand up on your own two feet." NTA.
Curious-One4595
NTA. You know you aren’t. It’s your parent and brother who need convincing. Ask him to list the material ways in which he has shown his care about you and your parents. Describe all the material ways you have cared for him. Tell him it’s time to give back.
Starting with him hand washing your car next Saturday morning. You’ll invite him in for coffee and a pastry after and as a gift of unearned family support you will give him referrals to the local business development nonprofit which can help him come up with a business plan and budget. He’ll still be on his own in capitalizing it, though.
pwolf1771
YTA if you give him another cent. You realize paying off his debts and helping with his rent was an act of cruelty right? Every time you “helped him” you just made him more worthless. Give this moron the gift of some problems…
RandomReddit9791
NTA. You don't have to fund his lifestyle, just like you didn't have to pay his car note or pay credit card debt. You chose to do those things. Choose to say no from now on. You are beig used and if you fell on hard times, neither your parents or brother would help.