'AITA for refusing to take down my wedding video?' 'It makes my brother-in-law uncomfortable.'
"AITA for refusing to take down my wedding video after my brother-in-law asked because it makes him feel uncomfortable?"
Okay, so I (24F) have been married to my wife (25F) for about a year now, and our wedding was honestly one of the best days of my life. We had a small ceremony with close friends and family, and I hired a videographer to capture the whole thing. The video turned out beautifully, it’s about 10 minutes long, and we posted it on social media. All our friends and family loved it.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago, my brother-in-law (27M) reached out to me and asked if I could take the video down. I thought it was kind of a strange request, so I asked him why. He told me that he and his girlfriend broke up recently, and she was in a lot of the video since they were a couple at the time. He said watching it makes him feel “uncomfortable and reminded of their relationship.”
Now, I get that breakups can be tough, and I didn’t want to dismiss his feelings, but at the same time, I don’t feel like it’s fair to take down something that holds so much personal value to my wife and me just because he’s upset about his ex. It’s not like the video is about them, it’s about our wedding.
I told him that I’m sorry he feels this way, but I wasn’t going to take it down. It’s important to us, and I didn’t feel like we should have to change that for his personal situation. He got pretty upset, saying I’m being insensitive and selfish, and that it’s not a big deal to just take it down for a while until he moves on.
My wife is kind of on the fence, she agrees it’s our video and we shouldn’t have to take it down, but she also feels bad for her brother. Now the family is divided, and I’m getting the cold shoulder from a few people who think I’m being a jerk for not being more supportive. AITA for refusing to take it down?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Turbulent_Ebb5669 said:
Your BIL needs to get over himself.
Mother_Search3350 said:
NTA... If the video makes him feel bad, he should not be watching it. He needs to grow up, he is 27 not a pubescent 17 year old. It's not about him. The video is about your special day with your wife and the other family and friends who are also in that video and their memories of your special day.
Gracefulbellaa said:
NTA. You are not the ahole for refusing to take down your wedding video. While it's understandable that your brother-in-law is struggling with his breakup and feels uncomfortable seeing his ex in the video, it is ultimately your wedding video that holds significant personal value for you and your wife.
You should not have to erase a cherished memory just to accommodate someone else's feelings, especially when the video is about your special day, not his past relationship. It's important to set boundaries, and your decision to keep the video up is valid.
KeelsTyne said:
WTF? Is someone forcing him to watch YOUR wedding video on a loop with his eyes taped open? Tell him to get a grip!
kmflushing said:
You know what makes more sense than having you take down the video? If he'd stop watching it. Literally, STOP CLICKING. NTA.
cherryxangel_ said:
NTA. It's okay to sympathize with your brother-in-law, but prioritizing you and your wife's feelings about your own wedding video is perfectly okay. It's your wedding video, a cherished memory of a significant day.
AllDressedKetchup said:
NTA. It was your happy day and everyone who was there in that moment were happy and celebrating the day with you. Does he know he doesn't have to watch the video?