Teen defends himself after mom claims he caused stepsister's accident by ignoring her calls. AITA?
"AITA for refusing to accept blame for my stepsister's accident?"
My parents are divorced and they have me (16m) as their only kid. My dad's still single but my mom's married again. Her husband has a 10 year old daughter so my stepsister. I split time equally between my parents.
I'm at mom's house for a week then I go home to dad the other week and I switch back over. My relationship with dad is better. Mom's always been a little too demanding. One thing that has ticked people off is she texts me during school and expects me to answer.
She asks me to do stuff for her and I could be in the middle of class. My dad and most of my teachers encouraged me to let her know my phone was going on silent until I was finished for the day and I started doing it.
My mom even called my school before to say they needed to get me to text her back or call her. And I wish I was joking but I'm not. Stuff she'll ask is for me to pick up milk at the store on my way home, or to pick up takeout that she ordered and since she got married again it might be to walk my stepsister home from school or to take her somewhere.
I don't drive so mom gets me to do it walking. She even made me stand outside my stepsister's basketball practice for an hour once because she insisted I had to go and pick her up before going to her house.
Back in April I had after school stuff and I kept my phone on silent and didn't check because I didn't want to deal with mom saying she needed me to pick up something or whatever.
When I was finished I saw mom had texted and said I needed to pick my stepsister up from some girl scouts/camping thing. Then there was a call I missed and a voice note where mom was screaming at me because they got a call that my stepsister had been knocked down by a bike and was at the hospital.
I get to mom's house and nobody's there so I just do my homework and wait. Mom gets home a few hours later and tells me my stepsister walked on her own because nobody came to pick her up and she wasn't being careful and got run over. And that she was too young to walk alone.
I told mom it wasn't my fault and it made mom blow a fuse because she thought I should feel more bad or whatever. We argued over how she knows I have after school stuff and she said family should take priority over any stuff.
She chewed dad out for siding with the school on the phone thing and he chewed her out for blaming me. Now every time I'm at her house we fight and she told me I should be ashamed for my lack of feeling bad. Her husband is 100% on her side and he's an ass anyway so that doesn't surprise me.
My stepsister broke one of her legs and she has damage done to her other knee and it's likely a long term/forever thing. But I don't feel like it's my fault when I never agreed to pick her up. They just didn't plan better. My mom keeps saying it's disgusting that I keep defending myself over this. AITA?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
Your 16? You then should be able to push back on dad and tell him you prefer to live full time at dad's. You should also be old enough to decide if you still want to go to moms to visit. You don't need that toxic environment at moms.
Ka_dennn (OP)
We already tried that. The judge said I need to keep 50-50 until I'm 18. I even spoke to the judge. But he said a teenager doesn't get to make the decision and that I have two equally fit parents so both should get an equal amount of time. That was even with the info about mom texting me all through school and calling my school to make me answer.
Was this also after your mother's new daughter's accident. I think you should try going back to court and argue that she is unfit and explain how both her and her husband are putting the blame on you for not being a third parent and the accident. Your mother is unhinged. NTA.
Your mom and her husband are the AHs. They knew your stepsister is too young to walk home on her own, yet as the adults who are legally and morally responsible for her, they did not make the necessary arrangements to pick her up.
NTA, can you ask your dad to go back to court to get full custody as your mom is parentifying you and using you as an unpaid babysitter and caretaker for your stepsister.
NTA. Your mom is at fault, she knew what events your sister had planned and had ample time to arrange her pickup before school started.
Ka_dennn (OP)
She's always like that. Not only with my stepsister and picking her up but asking me to do stuff by a certain time when she knows I'm staying late or have after school stuff. She expects me to drop and do what she wants or what her husband wants.
From your other replies I’ve seen that you’re saying a judge has said 50/50 remains. I would start documenting how your mum is speaking to you and demands she’s making. You’re her child, not her slave.
You are not responsible for your stepsister and it is not your fault she got hurt. I’m glad your dad is on your side and backing you up. You need to do everything you can to get out of that house. Her behaviour isn’t ok.