'AITA for ditching my sister’s wedding because her bridesmaid is my ex - who she hooked up with?'

"AITA for refusing to attend my sister’s wedding because her bridesmaid is my cheating ex — and she knew?"

I (35F) told my sister (38F) that I won’t be attending her wedding, and now the entire family is acting like I’m the one setting fire to everything. But honestly? I feel like I just finally woke up to the fact that my sister never actually had my back.

Here’s the story: I dated a woman, “CeeCee,” from age 28 to 32. It was serious. I loved her deeply, saw a future with her, and was absolutely shattered when I found out she cheated — not once, but multiple times. It wasn’t even just physical.

There were messages, whole secret relationships, gaslighting, manipulation — the full narcissist starter pack. When I confronted her, she said I was “emotionally unavailable” and she “had needs.”

I was a mess. My sister was the one person I leaned on during that breakup. She said CeeCee was “toxic,” “a user,” and even called her a “sociopath.” I truly thought she understood how badly I was hurt.

Fast forward to last month: My sister sends me her final wedding party list and there it is — CeeCee. As a bridesmaid. My ex. In her wedding party. Standing beside her on the biggest day of her life like nothing happened.

When I confronted her, she was weirdly calm. Said she and CeeCee “reconnected” through a mutual friend, and that CeeCee had “grown a lot” and was “really fun now.” She told me I was overreacting and needed to “let the past go.”

I told her if my abuser was going to be standing beside her in matching pastel dresses, I wasn’t going to be anywhere near that altar. Then came the part that broke me: She got defensive and snapped, “It’s not like you two were even exclusive the whole time. And she and I had a moment once — get over it.” I swear the room went silent.

Yeah. You read that right. She admitted that she hooked up with my ex while we were still together. Claimed it was “a one-time mistake” and “not emotional,” but also said I was “too busy being the victim” to realize that maybe I didn’t have the perfect relationship I thought I did.

I was shaking. I asked her if the whole “reconnecting” thing was just a cover for them seeing each other again, and she smiled. SMILED. Said I was being paranoid, but never actually denied it. So I told her she could enjoy her wedding with the people who clearly matter more to her than her own sister. I wouldn’t be attending.

Now? The family group chat is blowing up. I’m being called dramatic, cold, “unforgiving.” A cousin even said, “It’s just one day, you should be happy for her.” I’ve been called a lot of things this week. But no one’s asked me if I’m okay.

So — AITAH for refusing to go to my sister’s wedding after she made my cheating ex her bridesmaid, then admitted she hooked up with her behind my back?

Because honestly, I feel like I’ve been set up this whole time.

What do you think? .....AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Paeliens said:

Tell her fiance that you're not attending because your sister slept with her bridesmaid while you 2 were dating and you're not attending as a result.

Wish them luck and block everyone

EmpireStateOfBeing said:

NTA your sister is beyond toxic, I would be telling her fiancee and then going no contact.

adiah54 said:

NTA. Give yourself peace. Get out of the family app. On the wedding day, do something pleasant for yourself: sauna, hair treatment, or do a hike or a swim. Or movies. Let them be and take care of you.

Obviouslynameless said:

Tell everyone that your sister made her choice to sleep with your ex when you were still with her, and you are making your choice to not be a part of someone who betrayed you life.

And, yes, tell the fiance and share any texts supporting you.

And The__Auditor said:

No contact, it's your only choice and if family still pressure you hit them with no contact too. Your sister is a vile excuse for a human being. Also tell her fiancé because they deserve to know the type of woman they are marrying because odds are your sister is cheating on them with your ex.

Do you agree that going no contact is the best move?

We'll keep you posted on any future updates!