'AITA for refusing to babysit for my sister anymore because of her BF's daughter's behavior?'

"AITA for refusing to babysit for my sister and her boyfriend anymore even though I'm being accused of stopping because one of the kids isn't my sister's child?"

Let me start by giving some context on me and why this babysitting thing happened in the first place. Two years ago I (18M) switched from public in person school to online school. I was bullied heavily from the fifth grade on and it was getting worse. I was skipping school to avoid it and having panic attacks and breaking down crying because it was getting to me so bad.

My parents agreed to let me drop going to school for online school when it was getting so bad they were getting daily calls and my school wasn't doing anything to protect me. I ended up doing less classes and had more free time. During this I was also making art and selling commissions online and I was successful with that so I started to plan to make that my future career.

Just before I switched to online school my sister got pregnant and her boyfriend and his daughter moved in. They were both 20 and his daughter was 5. They started dropping his daughter off with me when they had other stuff on like work or doctors appointments. It wasn't something I was asked to do it was just sort of expected and it was exhausting.

She was only 5 but she was already spoiled and didn't like hearing the word no and I struggled. I was 16 and taking care of a child I didn't know. I told my parents, my sister and her boyfriend that it was a lot and I wasn't able to do it. They told me I started babysitting at 12 and I could do this as a favor to my sister until they could throw me some money for it.

Once my sister's baby was born I was babysitting her boyfriends daughter more and then once was a few months old I was babysitting them both and my sister was pregnant again. They backed off a little on how frequent it was but it was still a lot and it was rough with her boyfriends daughter who's behavior was getting worse.

Whenever they gave me money for McDonald's or something else I dreaded it. She would talk over me and try to order stuff she wouldn't eat, she would steal food from me and even spat in the middle of McDonald's because I wouldn't give her my fries. At home she was climbing chairs to reach the snacks and stomping all over food that fell in the process.

She tore up the playroom one day because the kids tablet my parents had was broken and she wanted the tablet. Another day she knocked my laptop off the table and broke it while I was doing school assignments. Then she'd get annoyed about the baby crying and she'd scream at the top of her lungs in response and when I'd try to calm her down she'd hit me.

I told my parents, sister and her boyfriend again that it was too much but they still wouldn't stop sending the kids to me. Then my sister gave birth to the next baby and she got pregnant almost immediately after.

I told them I would be working from somewhere else instead of home and I would not be there when one of them dropped off the kids. My parents told me I work from home easily and don't need to focus on it like a regular job so I should be helping. They said it wasn't like I was paying rent to them or anything. My sister was asking me why I was being difficult.

Then her boyfriend said I just hate his daughter and don't want to babysit her because she's not my bio niece. He said all my complaints are normal, the stealing and spitting and breaking stuff and talking over adults and hitting. It's all completely normal and you deal with it as an adult.

I pointed out I wasn't an adult when they started sending her to me. He said in some times and countries I was an adult at 16 and if I could babysit other people's kids why not my own nieces and nephews.

Now everyone is acting like I said no because she's not my bio niece and I'm looking for friends who can afford to share rent with me because living here isn't going to be an option for long. AITA though?

Some additional details for anyone who needs them. I graduated in May and won't be going to college. I'm making money online through my art and it's enough to support myself if I can have a roommate or two.

There is no mom in the boyfriend's daughter's life and no grandparents or aunts and uncles either. My sister doesn't consider her boyfriends daughter her own kid and my parents don't consider her a grandkid either. My sister's boyfriend seems okay with that. And he lets his daughter act like that when he's around.

He doesn't ever correct her or stop her and she acts out just as bad for everyone else. I feel bad that she's not being parented better because I know it's already costing her friends in school.

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Kukka63 said:

NTA, the parents need to step up and do some parenting. It's their choice to have children and up to them to make appropriate arrangements.This is absolutely not your responsibility, I wish you all the best and good luck with your artistic endeavors.

OP responded:

Thank you. I'm locked in on getting secure enough to move out. This whole thing has been stressful and I thought getting out of school would make my life way better. It did and then I got dumped on.

Cursd818 said:

NTA. Tell your parents that you are disgusted by how they are pimping you out as free labour for your sister and her BF. They are abusing you with their behavior.

Warn your sister that not only are you done, but you will not hesitate to report them to both the police and CPS for child abandonment if they ever drop off these children again. And tell your parents that unless they start supporting your right to your own free time, they will destroy your relationship with them.

peacocks1 said:

NTA. u didn’t sign up to be a free babysitter, esp for a kid who breaks ur stuff n hits u. ur sis n her bf r using u cuz it’s convenient. u tried, u set boundaries, they ignored them. moving out sounds like the best option

anaisaknits said:

NTA and time to move out. Stop staying home. You didn't give birth to her or your biological nibbling. It's time to cut the cord. They are raising a really spoiled rotten child and using you to deal with her.

No is a complete sentence, and it doesn't require a reason.

OP responded:

I'm working on moving out. I need somewhere to go and people to live with first. But it's something I'll get done hopefully very soon.