'AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she called me 'just the fun aunt'?'
"AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she called me 'just the fun aunt'?"
My (28F) sister (34F) and I have always been close, or so I thought. She has three kids (9F, 6M, 3M) and a husband (36M) who works long hours, so naturally, I’ve stepped in to help when I can. I adore my niece and nephews, and I’ve always tried to be there for them whether it’s hosting sleepovers, taking them on fun outings, or just helping my sister get a break.
But lately, I’ve felt taken for granted. I work a demanding job, and although I don’t have kids myself, my free time is limited. Despite this, I’ve rearranged my schedule countless times to babysit, sometimes at the last minute, because my sister swears she “has no one else.” I never ask for money or anything in return, because, well, family.
Last week, my sister called me in a panic because she had an unexpected work event. She needed someone to watch the kids, and once again, I stepped up. I left work early, canceled dinner plans with my boyfriend, and drove 45 minutes to her house.
When she got home later that night, I overheard her on the phone with her husband. She didn’t realize I was still there, cleaning up the tornado of toys her kids had left behind. She said something along the lines of, “Oh, don’t worry about it. [My Name] will always help; she’s just the fun aunt with no real responsibilities. It’s not like she has anything better to do.”
I froze. I waited for her to hang up, then asked her if she really believed that. She laughed awkwardly and said I was overreacting, insisting she “didn’t mean it like that.” She said she was just stressed and “of course” she appreciated me, but it didn’t feel genuine.
I left shortly after and didn’t bring it up again until she texted me a few days later asking if I could babysit the kids this weekend. I responded, “Sorry, I can’t. You’ll have to find someone else.”
She called me immediately, upset, and asked why I was being so “selfish.” I told her I didn’t appreciate being taken for granted or being seen as someone with “no real responsibilities.” She got defensive, saying I was twisting her words and punishing her kids over something she didn’t mean.
Now my parents are involved. They think I’m overreacting and should “forgive and forget,” because “family helps family.” But I’m exhausted. I love my niece and nephews, but I can’t keep dropping everything to help someone who doesn’t value my time. My sister is now furious with me, claiming I’m “abandoning” her kids out of spite. AITA for standing my ground?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
NTA. If it's convenient and you want to see the kids, great. If you are tired or have plans, "No" is a complete sentence.
She made a decision to use you and is now upset because you found out? Those who are chiming in can be used - I mean babysit.
Well, mom, dad, *you drop your life and go help. I mean, you don’t have any small children; it’s not like you have anything else to do. Please, please, please video - NO! I want livestream!!!
NTA. Time to remind your sister that those are HER kids. And that hiring a babysitter exists. There are apps and the like for that shit available on the very phone she was talking to her husband on.
Also remind her that YOU have a life. Even if you don't have children. And that if you're always looking after her crotch goblins, how are you supposed to have a family of your own? Point this out to your parents too. They all need to remember that you are a person too. Not a service.
Good heavens - she drives 45 MINUTES to do this? Sister is seriously taking advantage. Parents need to get a grip; they can step up themselves, since " family helps family"...
Nah, you’re not the a-hole. She straight disrespected you after you dropped everything for her. Like, if she doesn’t value your time, why should you keep bending over backward? Stay firm, girl. You got boundaries, and that’s valid!
NTA. You’re always there for her, but she’s taking you for granted. You’ve got a life too, and your time is just as important. She needs to respect that and not act like you’re just some free babysitter.
Nah, you’re not wrong. She straight-up disrespected you, and you’ve been bending over backward to help her. Being family doesn’t mean being a doormat. She needs to realize your time matters too. Keep your boundaries, girl.
You’re not the AH. She totally disrespected your time and made it sound like you have no life. You’ve been helping out a lot, but you’re not her free babysitter. Stand your ground!
Hell no. NTA. It’s selfish to expect someone else to drop everything (including impacting on your job, relationship) so she can do what she pleases, so to have the absolute cheek to then make fun of you.. I’d be furious.
She chose to have them, she’s responsible for them. If she wants to be away from her kids she can pay a babysitter, and hopefully treat them with more respect than she has you.
Nah, you’re not the asshole. You’ve been bending over backwards for her, and she straight disrespected you. Family or not, your time matters. She can figure it out without you for once.
Honestly, you’re not the asshole. You’ve been helping out a lot, but she’s clearly taking you for granted. You have a life too, and just because you don’t have kids doesn’t mean you don’t have responsibilities. She needs to respect your time, and honestly, her comment was rude. You’re allowed to set boundaries.