'AITA for refusing to clock out early so my coworker can take her kid to the hospital?'
"AITA for refusing to clock out early so my coworker can take her kid to the hospital?"
I (31 F) carpool to work every day with four coworkers. We all live about an hour away from the office and have been carpooling ever since they forced us back to full time in person so that we could share commuting expenses (Gas and tolls).
One of my coworkers (let's call her S) has a young child who recently got very sick.For the last few days he’s been having constant nosebleeds so bad that he's even gone through an entire roll of toilet paper trying to stop the bleeding.
Last Sunday night it got so bad that they took him to the hospital. On Monday she still came to work as usual and didn’t mention anything about it until we were all driving home.
That’s when she told us she hadn’t asked her boss for time off to take her kid to the hospital because she “didn’t think she would be allowed.” She also said that if she doesn’t get him seen soon, “he could die.”
She asked if the next day we could all take her car instead of the usual driver’s (Let's call him A), and if everyone could clock out at 4:45 instead of 5:30 (5:30 is when A and I normally finish,the other 3 clock out at 5).
We told her we’d think about it and would need to clear it with our managers. After talking it over, A and I decided we would just find another ride home so S could leave whenever she needed.
The plan was: she would drive her own car to work, we’d all ride with her in the morning, and then in the afternoon A and I would get a ride with someone else so she could go straight home and get her kid to the doctor.
When A called her later on that night to explain this plan to her, she got furious. She accused us of being heartless and not caring about her child, said “what goes around comes around.”
She then dramatically announced she would just reschedule the doctor’s appointment so it “wouldn’t inconvenience us” even though we never asked her to do that, and even though she had just told us an hour before that her son’s nosebleeds haven’t stopped and he could literally die.
I’m angry because she was the one who originally said she’d take her own car and drop us off so she could go straight home to her kid and we were totally fine with that plan, but we knew there was no way our managers would let us leave 45 minutes early for someone else’s child.
A and I don't have children but honestly, if my kid was bleeding that much, I would have called out or left early the day before and taken him to the ER, not shown up to work and dropped the news casually on the commute home.
I'm also confused, and concerned,at her saying that her kid 'could die' but yet she's scheduling a doctor's appointment instead of dropping everything and taking him straight to the ER. So, AITA for refusing to clock out early so my coworker can take her kid to the ER?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
I don’t understand why any of this is an issue. If she needs to take her child to the hospital, she should use her car that day and the rest of the group should carpool in a different vehicle. None of this makes any sense but if it’s real, NTA.
NTA I genuinely have no idea what her issue is? Thats 2 less people she'd have to worry about driving home so she can get her kid to the hospital sooner? Also, yeah, I don't have kids but if something could kill then Id be calling out of work and rushing them to the ER.
NTA. Her child, her responsibility is the short answer. But this is weird behavior. What are the chances she's lying? This doesnt seem like the action of a concerned mother. How expensive is it for her to just drive separately? This makes zero sense.
NTA. I'm a working mom. If I was S, I would have explained to you all that I was very sorry but while my child was having these health issues it would probably be better if I didn't join the carpool because I might have to leave early and didn't want to ask you folks to leave early. It sucks her kid is having issues, but she shouldn't inconvenience you about it either.
Wait what? She is mad that you are getting a ride home with someone else so she can drive herself to the hospital? When I first read the headline I assumed that she had ridden with you and you were refusing to drive her - in which case yeah that would not be cool. But you offered a reasonable solution. NTA.
NTA. Also if you have separate cars to alternate the driving why aren't you just taking separate cars that day to begin with? It's weird to expect other people to take off work early for a child that isn't yours so just drive separately that day.
NTA. It really doesn't make any sense. Why wouldn't she WANT to just drive her own car, herself, so she could leave whenever she needs to and not inconvenience everyone else? I don't get this. And yes... the kid should have gone to the ER when the major nosebleed happened - not days later. Something is not right with this woman.
Even weirder, OP writes that co-worker DID take the kid to the ER on Sunday. But then on Monday, co-worker says kid could die if not seen, but the kid was seen on Sunday! So, what's going on here?
cheesecake_sw (OP)
OP here, we were all just as confused by her explanation. She told us she needed to leave early today to take him to a hospital and then proceeded to say she had scheduled a doctor's appointment.
NTA, although this all sounds unnecessarily complicated. Why didn't the rest of you just carry on with the normal schedule in A's car and S travelled on her own/made her own arrangements?
If her child is so sick, she should be taking her own transportation, whether it's her own car or something like a Taxi or Uber. Not to be heartless, but she shouldn't be trying to make other people schedule around her family issues.
If it's truly an emergency and her Kid needs to go the ER, she should take an Uber or drive herself otherwise she's making her issues everyone else's issues and setting the stage for her to have emotional power and a guilt trip over others. NTA.