'AITA for refusing to do my husband a favor, even if I was capable of doing it?'
"AITA for refusing to do my husband a favor, even if I was capable of doing it?"
I (25f) am a 4th year vet student married to my husband (27m). I have an exam in 4 days that I have been frantically studying for. This morning I was actively typing/studying on my computer when my husband came in and asked if I could do him a favor.
He said that he needed new work pants but when he tried to log in to his amazon account yesterday that he was locked out. He asked that I just buy the pants for him using my amazon account. He said that I had purchased the pants before so the order info should be saved somewhere in my history.
I told him that he has access to my amazon account on his computer and could use my account to get them for himself. I said that while I was physically capable of going and doing it for him, he could also do it just as easily, and it just wasn't a priority for me right now.
He got pretty upset. He said he never asks for favors and I couldn't do this one thing for him. It's true that he doesn't often ask for favors from me, but it's not true that I don't do things for him. It's just that it was a bad time for him to ask and I feel like he can do it himself.
I feel like I might be the AH for just blanketly saying no, especially after he got so upset. I am capable of doing him the favor, even if it's a really bad time for it. But, I also feel like he should be more considerate of my time and effort right now, and I offered him the solution of him using my account on his computer. So, AITA for refusing to do the favor?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA. All these E-S-H and Y-T-A must be men who do the same thing to their wives/girlfriends. You were in the middle of studying. He has access to your Amazon account. He can do it himself.
The fact that anyone could think OP should just drop their work and go order a pair of pants for a guy who could easily do it himself tells me it's a lot of guys who can't do anything for themselves. I even see some of them insinuating she's not a supportive wife for not doing this, etc. Ridiculous.
He couldn't just reset his freaking password?
You’re in the middle of preparing for a major exam that your entire career depends on. Your time, focus, and mental bandwidth are legitimately limited right now. The favor he asked for wasn’t urgent, complicated, or something he couldn’t do himself; he literally has access to your account already.
NTA
My dude needs to realise you're not his mommy.
NTA. Girl you’re cramming for an exam and he wanted you to stop everything to buy pants he could order in like 30 seconds on his own computer. That’s not a “favor,” that’s laziness with extra steps. You gave him the easiest workaround ever and he still got salty. You’re not wrong for protecting your time.
NTA. He could of popped in and said hon I'm locked out of my account, can I use yours to order the pants? Or he could of went through the process to unlock his account.
Yeah I agree, interrupting her to ask to use her account would have been totally fine and if she were mad about that then of course she’d be the AH here but asking her to do it for him is weird.
Like, what if he’s wrong about them being in the order history, or there are multiple pants, or the size/color/brand isn’t available right now, or his card isn’t saved to her account? Ideally it would “take 30 seconds” but it might not.
NTA. If he had open access on his computer and permission to use your amazon account there's absolutely no reason you should be interrupted to do it for him. He had the access & he can see the order history and he can click purchase again.
Him insisting that you do it for him while you're in the middle of studying for an exam makes no sense. If this were something you had sole access to I may feel like okay just do it - but to me this is like him disrupting your studies to make him a pb&j in the kitchen or toast. He can easily do it - he just doesn't want to.
NTA. If you’re going to be an adult human who cannot buy his own clothes, the least you can do is pick your moments to ask someone else to do it for you. Surely the work pants issue was not so desperate that it couldn’t be addressed after the test was over.
NTA. Either of you could do this 2 min action. He chose not to do it for himself bc it’s easier to delegate, you chose not to do it for him bc you’re studying for an exam.
NTA. Your husband was capable of doing it himself. If he didn’t realize he could access your Amazon account on his computer and thought he needed your help, he should have held onto that request.
You were focused in a flow state studying something important to you. A better interruption would have been, “I’m sorry. Quick question. When would you like me to serve you dinner?” While breaking away to eat would have been the appropriate time to ask about the pants.
Your husband respected neither your time nor the importance of the task at hand to you. If this is an ongoing thing and your husband won’t prioritize your need for uninterrupted study time, you alone need to prioritize it away from him. Libraries, coffee shops, and even some hospital lounges offer free WiFi with a place to set up.