"AITA for refusing to ‘fix’ my sister and BIL’s microwave?"
As far as I know, my sister has a happy marriage with her husband ‘Roger’. I think he’s generally a good guy and a great father but he does this thing where he puts something in the microwave and will not come to get it when it’s ready so it just beeps and beeps until someone brings it to him.
It’s so loud and due to their open floor plan/acoustics you can hear it no matter where you are in the house. If I’m over, I’ll just press the end button or open the door to make it stop but each and every time, Roger will turn it on again until someone, anyone, brings whatever it is to him.
He knows the noise of the beeping drives everyone bonkers and he just keeps doing it to get waited on. He actually thinks it’s funny that the whole house gets mad at him about it. Last week, I finally had enough and got it to stop making any noise whatsoever and he got pretty pissed once he figured out no noise=no waitress service.
My sister tried being faux mad at me for his sake at first but ended up asking me not to change it back after a few days of blessed microwave silence. Roger says I’m interfering in their marriage and tampering with his property.
Even though it’s causing friction between them, my sister doesn’t want me to change it back and when he threatened to get a new microwave she told him she’d do the same thing to it.
I told him that google is his friend too and he can change it back himself if he wants. He’s insisting I change it back but I’m not budging.
AITA here?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA. I don't care about the rest of the story -- people who stop appliances from beeping deserve a laurel and hardy handshake.
My wife asked why I carried in the house. I told her Deceptacons. She laughed. I laughed. The microwave laughed. I shot the microwave.
"If I’m over, I’ll just press the end button or open the door to make it stop but each and every time, Roger will turn it on again until someone, anyone, brings whatever it is to him."
Roger gets out of his chair, goes over to the microwave, doesn't take out what has been heated, but closes the door so it beeps again? I think someone should 'close' Roger so he stops playing these stupid power games.
Suggestion: Take the item out of the microwave and stick it on the bench. If he doesn't get it in a reasonable timeframe, dump it.
NTA. Ask your sister is he does other things like this and if things are ok for her.
Yeah. This is wtf levels of entitlement, and the amount of petty gloating he was doing before and the amount of a n g e r at not getting to get "waitress service" is deeply concerning. He... got up, went to his heated food, and restarted the microwave so someone else needed to bring it to him? For real? There is NO WAY that the microwave is the only thing he's being awful about. None.
Even the thought process (You are hurting my marriage, by preventing me from getting what I want, which makes me lash out at my wife) is an abusive one. No accountability, HE isn't hurting his marriage over the pettiest nonsense, he didn't care that his pettiness WAS ALREADY hurting his relationship. No, it is OPs fault, for not catering to him and protecting him from himself. Disgusting.
NTA, ur bil is an entitled ass but you need to check in on ur sister. Does he frequently treat her like a live in maid and try to isolate her from family?
"If I’m over, I’ll just press the end button or open the door to make it stop but each and every time, Roger will turn it on again until someone, anyone, brings whatever it is to him."
So you stop the beeping, and that AH gets up from wherever he is and, instead of just getting whatever it was that he put in the microwave, he just turns on the beeping and leaves again so that someone will deliver his food/drink to him?
Huge NTA! Because that's AH behaviour if I've ever heard it. Especially since your sister clearly doesn't want the noise returned, if it's an issue in his marriage then it's an issue with his behaviour and you've just given the rest of his household a break from him ringing the servants bell.
NTA and let me get this straight, he GETS UP, turns it BACK ON, then leaves his food and expects someone else to bring it to him? What in the actual F.
IF he loved his wife, he wouldn't go out of way to keep upsetting his wife on purpose. That's malicious. That also means he's doing other things to his wife. Your sister should rethink this marriage.
You're not running their marriage. Your BIL is doing that all on his own. He's lucky his wife didn't cut the power cord or stick his food in the freezer or throw his food in the trash. NTA.
NTA. I think it was brilliant. You're a thoughtful sister. But, I don't get why anyone would give him the food. If he does that, just throw it out or eat it yourself. New house rule. You leave it in the microwave longer than 30 minutes, you've abandoned it and it's up for grabs.
NTA. There's no laziness involved here, he'll get up to reset the beep but not to get his own food. That's not 'funny', it's a power play. I can guarantee you he does this with other things too, ask your sister. The fact he insists you muting the beep is interfering with his marriage should tell you everything you need to know.
Don't mess with him too much, that could end up rebounding onto your sister. Get her alone, talk to her, make sure she's okay. This kind of behaviour from him is genuinely concerning.