Estranged son refuses to share inheritance with father's widow and half-siblings. AITA?
"AITA for refusing to give any of the money my late father gave me before his death to his widow and other children?"
Equivalent-Fruit-938
I (33m) was estranged from my father for over a decade. It had been a very long time coming when I did finally decide to become estranged at 20. I had already moved out when I was 17 and I had made sure to limit my contact with my father before ending all ties between us.
A lot of this had to do with the decisions he made while my mom was terminally ill and after her death. This ranged from trying to sleep with mom's sister while mom was still alive, to yelling at my mom while she was sick for being so sick, to burning several family photos of us in the days after mom died.
He also sold my mom's easel which she'd had most of her life and was sentimentally valuable to not just me, but my aunts and uncles also. I was 13 at the time. My dad ended up damaging a lot of mom's stuff when he met his second wife and moved her in.
To move her in he moved my mom out. In the process a lot of harm came to mom's things. My aunts and uncles took them and stored them and we went through them when I was 20.
I was completely no contact with my dad until his death almost a year ago. Even when I was informed he had transferred a lot of money over to me and had put my name on the deed of a family vacation home he and my mom had owned prior to her death.
That was the biggest chunk of everything he owned. He never told his wife/now widow. He also didn't own the house they were living in and that we had all lived in prior. It was his friends house. I was never sure how it worked but he never paid for it while I was living there (3 years for me).
After he died a letter was sent to me where he told me he had given me all of that so it was mine outright and because he wanted to make up for his mistakes in a small way.
His leaving me with so much meant there was basically nothing for his wife and the other children they had. Only what he had in joint accounts and no property. It was all legally binding.
His widow attempted to sue for a fair share of my father's assets but her case did not go far because it had been handled prior to his passing and was 100% legally mine. I didn't go to the funeral or anything so I was surprised to hear from her, and I still don't know where she got contact info for me, or my father for that matter.
She told me I should be looking after my family and I should want better for the children she and my father shared at least. She made it clear she expected me to want a relationship.
I told her I did not and I did not consider her children my family, because her late husband stopped being my family a long time ago. She said it wasn't fair that I could be so cold to my flesh and blood and that they got screwed over by their father and then by me.
She said I owed them something. I told her I didn't. I ended the call and blocked her but she reached out to me through social media and called me selfish and cruel and how I had no morals. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
NTA.
"After he died a letter was sent to me where he told me he had given me all of that so it was mine outright and because he wanted to make up for his mistakes in a small way."
The letter tells you that you are not the AH - IF you feel like it you could start an interest bearing account with an amount that could be used in the future for schooling, BUT you are obligated to do nothing.
"Even when I was informed he had transferred a lot of money over to me and had put my name on the deed of a family vacation home he and my mom had owned prior to her death."
He left you something that had NOTHING to do with his current widow.
mrliberaldude
NTA. Your father’s decision was clear and legally binding. It’s not your responsibility to make up for his past actions or support his current family.
Apart_Foundation1702
Exactly! Whilst her situation sucks, I don't hear anything about her trying to foster a relationship between her kids and OP whilst her husband was still around and now all of a sudden now OP has inheritance she wants him to the part of their lives!
Hell no! She's just trying to get at the inheritance that is rightfully Op's. The house and money are highly likely to have also belonged to his mother too! NTA.
SwimmingProgram6530
So you were left the vacation property that belonged to your mum and Dad that was rightfully yours anyway. I really don’t see the problem with that. The Person who had no morals, was the ‘lady’ who moved into a dying woman’s home. You are NTA.
Irishwol
And cash. Sounds like an attempt to screw over wife number two and family number two. Sounds like it worked. Whatever about the vacation home which legit works go to OP, the money wasn't all his to give as he had dependents. Basically Dad was a monster.
dart1126
INFO…how much in the interim from you leaving, and him dying, had she been trying to get your dad and you to reconcile, and / or to have you get to know their kids?
The OP responded here:
Equivalent-Fruit-938
Not at all that I'm aware of. I never heard from either of them in that time.
Schlobidobido
NTA. She didn't seem to mind that you are family when your father and her screwed you over by treating your mothers memory and you like this. I call it karma. She saw your father abondining you for his new family and never thought he could as easily forget about her and the kids they share? Funny.