"AITA for refusing to give my baby to my twin sister?"
I don't even know how to process whats happening right now and I need people who aren't involved to tell me if Im crazy or if my family has completely lost it. I'm 28 and seven months pregnant.
The dad isn't in the picture and I've made peace with that, I've been preparing for this baby on my own and I'm actually really excited about it. I've got a decent job and a small apartment and yeah it's not some perfect setup but it's mine and I can make it work.
My twin sister and I have always had a weird dynamic. She's the one my parents brag about, the one who did everything right, married a great guy, has the nice house, all of it.
I love her but growing up it was pretty clear who the favorite was and I've just learned to live with that. Whatever, we're adults now and I thought we had moved past the worst of it.
Her and her husband have been trying to have a baby for years and it's not happening for them. I know thats devastating and I genuinely feel for her because I know how much she wants to be a mom. When I found out I was pregnant I was nervous to tell her and I tried to be sensitive about it.
A few weeks ago my parents asked to meet with me and I thought it was gonna be about baby shower stuff or something. Instead they sat me down and asked if I would consider giving my baby to my sister after it is born.
I honestly thought they were joking at first. Like I laughed. But they were dead serious. They started talking about how my sister has a stable marriage and a house and how hard she's been trying and how I'm single and still figuring things out and wouldn't it be better for everyone if the baby went to someone who could give it the best life possible.
I just sat there staring at them trying to understand what I was hearing. This is my baby. That I've been carrying for seven months. That I've been planning for and buying stuff for and having dreams about. And they want me to just hand it over because my sister wants one and can't have one.
I told them no. Obviously no. And I thought that would be the end of it but it wasn't. They called another family meeting and my sister was there crying and my mom was going on about how selfish I was being and how this could fix everything for my sister and how I was young and could have more kids later.
My dad said if I didn't do this they would cut me off completely and I would be on my own with no support from them.
AITA FOR SAYING NO?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Absolutely NOT wrong. Keep yourself and your baby far away.
This 100%. Go no contact with all of them. Don't give away your child. Stay far away from all of them. The golden child can do IVF or adopt. Sweetie, it's your baby,pls don't give anyone your child. Keep us updated.
NTA, and your parents and sister are horrible people. Her husband, too, if he knows what's going on. Be extremely clear to the hospital that your family is NOT allowed into the room during delivery. They are NOT allowed to give you anything to sign.
Find someone you trust to be your patient advocate, or ask the hospital for one. For resources, hit up your DSHS. (Or equivalent in your country.) Even if you don't want to apply because you're working, they should be able to give you information that'll be of use to you and your little one.
If you're in the US, check out WIC. If you don't get health benefits through work, go for Medicaid. Hopefully you live in a state with many more good resources. If you qualify for FMLA, exploit the hell out of it. Good luck.
You are not wrong. I would cut contact immediately and get cameras. If you have any discussions with them, make sure it’s all through text so that if they harass you, you have evidence. I’m sorry this is happening to you OP.
Yeah I also think that when she establishes her birth plan with the hospital she needs to send photos of the parents, sister, and BIL, and make it clear none of them are allowed anywhere near her or her baby if this insanity persists.
You're not wrong, might be worth looking into relocating away from everyone suggesting that you should.
For yours and your baby's sake. Take your dad up on his offer and allow the family to cut you off. In fact, cut them off first. What they're suggesting is madness. If they stay in your lives when you come to term and in the early days/ weeks of having your newborn, when you're at your most vulnerable, they will take advantage of that. Run for the hills whilst you are physically and mentally able.
Hope she doesn't impersonate you at the hospital to take your baby. You better post all the receipts of text messages and pictures of YOU pregnant. Also, notify the hospital of this so that they can set up passwords/code words and whatnot.
Cut them off. Document any and every interaction with them. You need to move somewhere away from them. And don't give them the address. Let your doctor know how your family is trying to take your baby from you. You don't want any of your info released to them.
Once baby is here - Password at daycare to pick up baby since your twin looks like you Have a will made and in case something happens make sure the baby is left to someone you trust that is not them.