'AITA for refusing to give my sister my 'plus one' to her own wedding?'
"AITA for refusing to give my sister my 'plus one' to her own wedding?"
Okay so this is wild and I genuinely cannot tell if I’m being unreasonable here. My (28F) sister (32F) is getting married in March. We’ve always had a rocky relationship but things have been okay-ish the last few years.
When she sent out invites, I got one with a plus one, which was nice since I’ve been dating my boyfriend “Jake” (29M) for almost 2 years now.
Here’s where it gets weird.
Last week she calls me and asks if I’d be willing to “give up” my plus one because they’re over capacity and she wants to invite a coworker she forgot about. I asked why mine specifically and she said “well Jake isn’t really family yet and you’ll know plenty of people there.”
I said no. Jake and I are serious, he already requested the day off work, and honestly it felt really dismissive of my relationship. She got upset and said I was being selfish and that “it’s HER day.”
Now my mom is texting me saying I should just go alone to “keep the peace” and that I’m making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. My dad thinks my sister is being ridiculous but won’t say anything because he hates conflict.
Jake says he doesn’t want to cause family drama and would understand if I went alone, but I can also tell he’s hurt. I feel like if I cave on this I’m just reinforcing that my relationship doesn’t matter to my family. But also it IS her wedding. AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Easy fix. Tell her she can have both his seat and yours. NTA.
It seems like your hands forced anyways it’s either go alone or have an uncomfortable time.. I wouldn’t leave your man hanging like that. You are totally right to be wtf about this.
Dad is a smart man. Maybe skipping the whole thing might be better. That probably has its own implications. If its only 1 extra person. Are they not able to squeeze in one more somehow.
NTA. He’s not REALLY FAMILY but she wants to oust him for….a coworker? Absolutely not. I just wouldn’t go. Family drama be damned.
How big is this wedding? My sister was a wedding planner and most weddings 10-15% of people end up not going. Even if her was a rare 1-2% that is one space. But like others on here said maybe neither of you should go.
Unless there are only going to be ten people at the wedding, it seems like a weird call to disinvite someone who has already been invited to add on a coworker that was forgotten about. Have a talk with your sister to see if there are any other options, not to yell at her about how she’s being selfish or weird.
NTA. It’s unfortunate that your sister cares more about her coworker’s feelings than yours. If this is normal behavior for her, I’d probably just go to her wedding alone, or spend the day with your boyfriend, and then quietly distance myself from her from now on. No need to keep people in your life that clearly don’t care about you just because they’re a blood relative. Best of luck, OP!
NTA but at this point would he even want to go? I wouldn't want to go to a wedding of the couple specifically states that I'm not welcome. You should say "I will tell Jake that you have rescinded his invitation". Then if people at the wedding ask where your BF is then say his invitation was revoked.
Just give her two seats. Jake's and your own. Why would you want to celebrate the love of someone who absolutely diminishes yours?
NTA but I think it's just not going. end. it's not like it's going to be fun for both of them to go and stay in that boring atmosphere.
Inviting and then uninviting someone to a wedding is very rude thing to do.
Just tell her, "No problem, Jake and I will do something else that day."
NTA. He’s not REALLY FAMILY but she wants to oust him for….a coworker? Absolutely not. I just wouldn’t go. Family drama be damned.
NTA. tell her you will give up both your seats so her forgotten coworker will have a plus one.