'AITA for refusing to give up my parking spot to my pregnant coworker, even after she made it a big deal?'
"AITA for refusing to give up my parking spot to my pregnant coworker, even after she made it a big deal?"
So, for some context, I (29F) work at a mid-sized marketing firm in a busy downtown area. Parking is a seriously hot commodity here—most of us are grateful to have anything other than street parking, which is a nightmare during rush hour.
Parking spots are assigned strictly by seniority, and I got lucky because I’ve been at the company for five years. My spot is close to the entrance, which is honestly a lifesaver—I have chronic pain and stiffness from a knee injury I got in college.
It flares up unpredictably, but walking long distances, especially after a full day at work, makes it significantly worse. Enter Sarah (31F), who joined the company last year. She and I get along fine, but we aren’t close friends.
Last month, Sarah announced to the office that she’s expecting her first baby, and people were excited for her. She’s about three months along and has started showing a little. I’ve noticed lately she’s looked wiped-out and sometimes stays in her car for a while before coming in, so I figured she’s dealing with morning sickness or exhaustion.
About two weeks ago, Sarah stopped by my desk and asked if we could chat privately. She said she’s been having trouble with nausea and fatigue and that walking from her assigned spot (which is behind the building, uphill and kind of far) was making her mornings and afternoons a lot harder.
She asked if I’d be willing to swap spots with her “just for the rest of my pregnancy.” She promised she’d swap back as soon as she returned from maternity leave. I do feel for her—I can only imagine what early pregnancy feels like.
But my knee issue is unpredictable and honestly, walking the distance from her spot daily would be miserable for me. I told her that while I absolutely sympathize, I rely on my spot for my own mobility needs.
I suggested talking to HR about temporary accommodations; I know they’ve helped others in the past (for example, when a coworker broke his leg last year, he got a temporary spot up front).
Sarah’s face fell, and she said, “I just thought you’d understand, since you know what it’s like to struggle physically.” I felt guilty, but I stood my ground and told her again that HR could probably help figure something out. She left looking upset.
Here’s where it gets messy. For the next week, I started getting icy stares from a few people in my department. During lunch, I overheard Sarah venting to another coworker about how “some people here really lack empathy.”
A couple of others started leaving comments on the team chat like, “It’s wild how little women support each other when it actually matters.” Another person left a sticky note on my computer that said, “Would it kill you to be kind for a few months?” (which, by the way, is totally out of line).
I did check in with HR privately and explained the situation, especially the note. They said accommodations for pregnant employees are handled case by case, and Sarah would need to submit a request—they couldn’t just arbitrarily move parking spots, and that my spot was medically justified due to my previous paperwork.
Yesterday, Sarah stopped by my desk again, this time looking really upset. She said she’d gone to HR but was told she could be put on a waitlist for a closer spot or be given public transit vouchers instead, but there’s a process.
She told me she felt like I “threw her under the bus” by telling HR, and that people are now gossiping about her making a fuss. Now I feel even worse—Sarah is clearly struggling, people at work seem to think I’m the villain, and I feel torn between my own chronic pain and wanting to be supportive of a pregnant coworker.
My family says I shouldn’t suffer just to make things easier for someone else temporarily, but some friends are making me question if I’m being selfish. So, Reddit, AITA for refusing to give up my parking spot—even after all this drama?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA Sarah created this situation by getting everyone in the office to bully you.
NTA. If any of those others have a closer spot than Sarah, they are free to trade with her. You need your spot for your mobility needs. That is valid.
NTA. Your family are right - don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Sarah’s pregnant, not disabled. Instead of contacting HR, like you suggested, she has instead been badmouthing you to your coworkers.
She then tries again, how audacious. Your spot is medically assigned. Do any of your coworkers have a closer spot they could offer, particularly those who are supporting her?
She should’ve just gone thru the proper channels to get this accommodation early on. if she knows about your literal physical limitations, why would she even think of putting you in pain for her benefit? sorry but she’s not the first or last person to be pregnant. NTA.
I would report her behaviour again . She shouldn’t stop at your desk every time she has an issue , that’s what HR is for . Complain about her harassing you again.
I'm not going to lie, probs gonna get downvoted for this but here it goes: NTA my dude. Chronic pain ain't a joke, and you've got every right to keep the spot. It sucks she's having a rough time but you can't put your health on the line for it.
Also, the fact that she made it a big deal & turned others against you? That's just uncool. She should've kept this between you two and HR. Guess I'm old school, but believe it or not, common decency still matters. Stay strong bud, don't let the office politics get to ya.✌️😎
NTA. I was hospitalized with hyperemesis multiple times during my pregnancy and still wouldn’t have pulled a stunt like this. Also when I was back in work I managed to commute by train and do the long walk to and from the station, even when feeling pretty ill. Walking was way easier on my exhaustion/sickness than the car/train.
Pregnancy can be awful if you’re unlucky, but trying to avoid a short walk just a few months in seems like laziness and entitlement. The fact this Sarah has also picked on someone she knows struggles is wild. I’m guessing she thought OP would be the easiest push over. Coworkers suck for backing her up.