Woman outraged when BF refuses to display birthday art she made him with her body; 'embrace our intimacy.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing to hang up the artwork my girlfriend got me for my birthday?"
paintypaint23
My (26M) birthday was a few weeks ago. My girlfriend (24F) and her friend are into things that I find a little outlandish and weird. I love her and her uniqueness and I appreciate what she does but I do think some of their habits and interests are unusual.
We do not live together. She’s made comments about how I need more artwork and I agreed. She got me artwork. A homemade peace of artwork that she was given the idea through TikTok or something.
Her best friend also did the same thing for her boyfriend. The best I can describe it is like she like made like a print of her rear and legs/thighs on a canvas. It’s like she sat in paint and then sat on the canvas. Or something like that.
Honestly, It must have turned out really well because you can clearly tell it’s an ass and legs. The problem just arose recently because she came over and found the painting in my closet. She asked why it’s not up and I tried to dance around it.
I did tell her (the truth) that my parents stop by sometimes and I didn’t want them to see it. She started telling me that the picture is “beautiful” and I should want to “embrace her” and some more lines about how I should “embrace our intimacy”.
I told her that honestly I find it off putting. I think it is weird and borderline creepy. I told her I am very uncomfortable hanging up something like that and if she checked with me first I would have told her. She asked if I truly wasn’t going to hang it up.
I told her no, I will never consider putting that on my walls but I appreciate the thought. She started crying, said I’m an ungrateful ahole and she took the painting and said she will hang it up at her place.
She said her friends boyfriend loves the one he got so she can’t get why I’m being such a jerk about this. I don’t think im a jerk for not wanting an, albeit artistic, nude of my girlfriend on my walls.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
allkindsoftired
NTA. That’s the kind of gift you only get someone if they’re 100% into nude artwork and are comfortable with displays of intimacy. Plus the length of your relationship comes into play here: I wouldn’t want the rump of my gf of 6 months on the wall, but gf of 2 years could be a different story.
paintypaint23 (OP)
We have been together for almost 2 years. I still don’t want her rump on my wall.
allkindsoftired
Totally understandable, man. She needs to respect your preferences.
brelywi
Yeah kinda seems like they might be incompatible, he goes on about how “weird” she is and she’s upset that he’s not on the same page. Like, I could never date anyone NOT weird.
I know I’m weird and not everyone’s cup of tea. My husband would be all about a print of my ass and thighs, and would definitely hang it up in our bedroom haha. That being said, there’s nothing wrong with not wanting that or wanting to put it on the wall. Seems like they just have different thresholds of what they like, and OP seemed to try to let her down gently.
Unfortunately that’s kind of the risk you run with a handmade gift; they might not like it! GF was waaaaaay over the top with her reaction though, unless there’s something OP isn’t saying (like he was as judgmental and condescending about it as he kinda comes across here, where he’s presumably actively trying to portray himself in the best light).
Abject_Inside7644
NTA. I think you handled it well. Maybe ask if her she could paint something else, that plays into her creativity and still meets your boundaries?
paintypaint23 (OP)
I did. She gave me a response like she got me a birthday gift and I’m an ahole for being like make me a different gift I didn’t like the first one.
Jerseygirl2468
NTA artwork in one's home is very personal and you shouldn't have to display something you don't like - especially when said artwork is just her sitting in paint. I've seen that trend, personally I think it's tacky and stupid, but to each their own. And your opinion is no. Go to a local art fair or etsy or something and find some pieces YOU like.
notthedefaultname
NTA. I wouldn't want my partner of over a decades's body art on any of my walls either. But that art isn't to my tastes nor would I want my body displayed for randos and strangers to view in someone else's home. It might just be that you have very different tastes in artwork and are incompatible in how explicit you're willing to have your home decor.
CrazyCranberry3333
She’s weird. NTA If there was a place in your house that guests typically don’t go (master bathroom? Bedroom?) maybe that would be a good spot to hang it up?
But honestly I think it’s weird that she’s upset you won’t hang it up when your parents and any visitors could see it and by the sounds of it, easily tell it’s a rear. Anyone can do what they want with their home decor but I wouldn’t want people to be subjected to that or explain what it is haha.
earthenlily
NTA - Most people do not want intimate or sexual art displayed in their homes, period. It’s a very specific person who is okay with that. I have friends bringing kids to my house. One day I might display fine life drawing art which are usually nudes, but there’s a big difference between that and a literal BUT PRINT.
Assuming it would be fine and then shaming you for not wanting to display it is not cool on your gf’s part. I understand being upset a gift is not received well, especially a homemade one, but she’s taking it out on you instead of dealing with the feelings herself.