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'AITA for refusing to have any alcohol at my wedding?' 'We've received a lot of push back.'

'AITA for refusing to have any alcohol at my wedding?' 'We've received a lot of push back.'


"AITA for refusing to have any alcohol at my wedding?"

I (28F) and my fiance Mike (28M), are having a destination wedding in another state. One of our mutual friends is the manager of a hotel and agreed that during the off season when the hotel is slowest, we can have our wedding and several rooms at a great rate.

It's a beautiful venue with a large hall, wonderful land, a pond, pool and lots of activities. Mike and I come both come from big families that do big weddings, we are expecting around 350 people to attend, possibly even more. Mike and I are paying for most of the wedding ourselves with a bit of help from our parents only.

We have not asked for any monetary assistance nor are we asking for wedding gifts, if people would like to give us gifts or money that would be highly appreciated but strictly voluntarily.

Another of our mutual friends runs a daycare centre and her and her employees have offered to have a babysitting service for younger children so that we can have children at the wedding.

All the staff volunteered and we are paying for their rooms, food and activities during the wedding period. For guests who are coming from far and RSVP within good time, their rooms, activities and babysitting service will be heavily subsidized.

Due to the large number of young children and teenagers that will be in attendance, we have informed our guests that there will be a very strict no alcohol policy for our guests on the premises.

If people wish to consume alcohol off the premises we won't stop them but on the premises there will be zero alcohol served to the guests until after the reception is done.

Guests will check into the hotel as wedding guests and all will abide by this rule. This is to avoid any form of underage drinking and any drunken shenanigans from adults. If people bring alcohol from outside they can have it, just no drinking during the ceremony or reception.

The babysitting service is for the younger children with light supervision for those below 18 and for those who pay for it. This is the only thing besides people RSVP'ING in time that we have asked for.

We have received a lot of push back from guests, mostly family members, complaining about the no alcohol rule. There are even some saying that since there's a babysitting servce then they (the babysitters) will ensure that no kids will drink and that alcohol should be allowed.

Me and my fiance think it's a fair thing to ask for given that we aren't demanding money or gifts and have a babysitting service so there can be kids allowed but now we are having doubts about the alcohol and thinking that maybe we can make the wedding child free so that the adults can have alcohol like they want. Am I the ahole for refusing to have alcohol at my wedding?

Later, OP edited the post to include:

The hotel agreed so long as the guests agree as well. In the past on my side, there was an incident where before my aunt's wedding, some guests had gotten very intoxicated to the point of alcohol poisoning, they had to be taken to the hospital and it really dampened things.

On my fiance's side there are a few "openly rebellious" teens who have been found drinking while underage and some rowdy behavior from the adults on both of our sides. It's a strange rule we agree but given the previous circumstances we think it may be warranted.


Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Sensitive_Progress26 said:

You do you, but don’t expect 350 guests. Most people will not travel for a dry wedding of a distant relation. Honestly, it sounds like a bore.

FarlerFive said:

I think your reasons are ridiculous but it's your wedding. Don't invite people you cannot trust. I've been to dozens of weddings where alcohol was served & no kids got drunk, no ambulances called, adults adulted. I think YTA for your reasoning & not allowing them to go to the bar & have a drink. Pretty controlling.

jrm1102 said:

YTA - alcohol is served by bartenders. This whole preventing underage kids from drinking is bs. Hotels will not serve to minors. You’re asking 350 people to travel and then have this strange rule. If this were about the cost, sure. But it's not. Your wedding, your choice but I am just not seeing a justification.

jlnbtr said:

My European mind can’t just even being to understand the concept of a dry wedding. A wedding is about celebrating a couple, with good food, great booze and lots of partying.

If I were ever invited to an alcohol free wedding I wouldn’t even consider attending, it just sounds ridiculous. Sure an open bar may be expensive and lead to intoxication.

But not even wine or champagne to toast to the happy couple? Or beer? If children are attending it’s up to their parents (and bartenders of course) not to serve them, but the rest of the 300+ guests can surely have some. So big YTA from me.

AtomicWolfDog said:

NTA. Your wedding, your rules. But don’t be surprised if some people don’t come. Many people enjoy getting a buzz at a wedding. You have every right to have it dry and people have every right to say “nah I’m not down for that."

Significant-Diet169 said:

YTA- I don’t drink but that’s unfair on other people who are coming to spend their whole day with you in their free time.

Zealousideal-End4173 said:

YTA. Any alcohol-free wedding is miserable and just shows the bride and groom don't care about their guests having a good time. Very selfish.

To have a destination wedding to where people have to stay at the hotel, then not only don't provides alcohol but "forbid" them from drinking their own, is like huge, mega AH territory. Hopefully nobody shows up. There need to be consequences when people act like this or they never change.

Prestigious_Airport5 said:

YTA. You are having a destination wedding. Do you hate your guests? Why would they spend all the money to attend a wedding being micro-managed to this degree? Also, dry weddings suck which is why they are all telling you this.

While the opinions were certainly divided for this one, most people weren't on OP's side here. What's your advice for this dry wedding drama?

Sources: Reddit
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