'AITA for refusing to have anything to do with my cheating dad or his affair child?'

"AITA for refusing to have anything to do with my cheating dad or the baby he made while cheating?"

Last year my mom found out my dad was cheating on her with his friend's sister and the friend's sister was pregnant with dad's baby. I (20m) was in college and found out about it after mom had kicked him out and filed for divorce. My dad has not accepted the end of his marriage to mom and even now the divorce is final he's still trying to convince mom to take him back.

Between finding out and hearing from both of my parents I knew I was done with dad after that. I told him he was disgusting and he needed to not contact me. I blocked his number and carried on with my life without him. Even when I heard the baby was born I didn't have a change of heart.

This didn't change when I was told dad had custody of the baby either and the baby's mom was out of the equation. A big part of this was because my dad was really trying to harass my mom into taking him back and he even showed up with the baby to her job and her house and tried to say that we could all be a family again, only with an extra kid. I hated dad for doing that to her and she was stressed.

My dad never did social media before so I didn't have him blocked but a few weeks ago I did block his new account when he reached out to ask me to have a relationship with him and the baby. I replied with fuck off before blocking. But then he suddenly had two more accounts and on the last one he was like please, I love you and we're still family blah blah blah.

He said we needed each other and it didn't look like mom would take him back. I told him he didn't deserve it and why would she want to raise his kid with someone else and why would I want to know his kid with someone else. I told him he needs to accept that he lost me and there's no changing that because to do that he would need to go back and not cheat. Then I blocked the final account.

That was meant to be the end of it but my uncle (dad's brother) decided to speak in defense of dad and he told me dad was a bad husband but a good dad and it should count more for me. And he told me whether I like it or not I have a little (half) sister and need to think about being in her life. He asked me to consider what would happen if I got the call tomorrow that dad died.

I told him I'd carry on living my life and would refuse to be a part of that. Which pissed him off and he told me I'm being over harsh about it. I think he's defending my dad too much and I told him. He said dad cheated but he didn't physically harm anyone. I pointed out that he could have caught anything while cheating. And he did go and make a baby with someone else.

My uncle said the baby is a good reason to work on letting it go because she needs more family. I told my uncle to drop it because I will never want either my dad or the baby in my life. He told me I was old enough to be more mature and less of an asshole to the innocent and at an age where I should stay out of my parents relationship. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

FitSprinkles6307 said:

NTA. How are you and your mom doing? He cheated with his friend’s sister so I’m assume your dad knows that family and they should provide family support and he clearly has a brother that’s okay with infidelity so that’s one more person for his daughter’s family unit… and none of them are you and your mom. I wish you and your mom the best.

OP responded:

My mom's really stressed because dad won't leave her alone. I know she called the cops twice and went to a lawyer to see what she could do to keep him away. Right now that's nothing. They don't want to know. I'm doing okay. Disgusted with him and trying to be there for mom and I feel awful she's dealing with his manipulative attempts to win her back.

Affectionate_Beach45 said:

NTA Your dad wants a free babysitter.

calacmack said:

Your father should have considered the repercussions before deciding to cheat on your mother. NTA.

OP responded:

It would have been a wise move on his part but he doesn't seem too capable of those.

aquavenatus said:

NTA. Why do I get the feeling that your sperm donor is a single parent? It could explain why he wants your mother back so badly. He doesn’t want to raise his child alone.

OP responded:

He is. The mother doesn't want to know the kid so dad's on his own with her.

MaskedCrocheter said:

NTA. I'd call your Aunt and tell her that as hard as your uncle is pushing for you to forgive your dad for cheating you're starting to wonder whether or not he might also have been capable of it and she should probably check into that. See if your uncle keeps bothering you about your dad's cheating ass once he's having to explain to his wife why he doesn't think cheating is that bad.

MissyMooMoo02 said:

Reality has hit your Dad in the face and that’s why he’s crawling. He’s lost a solid marriage for a woman who did a runner and now he’s a single Dad. He’s learning the consequences of his actions and no doubt he wants your mum back to look after the baby because he’s realised how hard it is.

Stand firm young man. You’re showing yourself to be a better man than your Dad. It’s great to see you supporting your Mum. Dad’s problems are entirely self created and his own.

ThePythiaofApollo said:

Let me guess, the affair partner/baby mama threw his ass out. NTA.

OP responded:

No, he didn't get with her after mom kicked him out. Things ended when she found out she was pregnant. But that's also when mom found out. Seems she wasn't happy with how not-casual it got.

Immediate-Cancel7991 said:

Does mom have a ring camera outside her place. She needs to keep getting proof of these pop up visits.

And, where is the babies maternal family? Are they in the picture?

Also, I hate… and I do mean HATE when people expect the younger person to be the mature person in a situation with someone older than them.. stop. What he didn’t expect was to be a single father to an infant while having an adult child… and he’s looking to dump the baby on someone else.

He was an empty nested.. now he’s starting over.. all the way over. He, a grown ass man, should’ve considered the potential consequences of having an affair. Like babies or STD’s. He’s an idiot.

And OP responded:

My mom has a ring camera and security cameras all over the outside of the house. She showed the cops proof and they didn't care.

The maternal family are not in the baby's life. They hate my dad so much they want no involvement.