'AITA for refusing to invite my brother to my wedding after he started dating my ex?'
"AITA for refusing to invite my brother to my wedding after he started dating my ex?"
I (27M) am getting married in a few months to my fiancée, Athena (26F). We’ve been together for three years, and I couldn’t be happier. However, there’s one major problem, my brother, Armando (29M), is dating my ex, Sara (27F), who I was with for five years.
Sara and I had a serious relationship, and we even talked about marriage. Then, two years before I met Athena, she suddenly dumped me out of nowhere. At the time, she told me she “needed space” and “wasn’t ready for commitment.” It sucked, but I moved on.
Fast forward a few months later, and I found out she had actually left me to be with Armando. They had apparently been talking behind my back while we were still together, and as soon as we broke up, they made it official.
My brother never told me about it, I had to hear from someone else. When I confronted him, he acted like it was no big deal and told me “You guys were already over, so what’s the issue?”
That was the final nail in the coffin for my relationship with Armando. I went low contact with him and completely cut Sara out of my life. Now here’s where the wedding drama begins…
Armando assumed he would be invited to my wedding since he’s my brother. But when I sent out the invitations, his wasn’t there. He called me up, furious, demanding to know why I “wasn’t letting go of the past” and was “choosing a wedding to be petty.”
I told him this wasn’t about being petty, this was about the fact that he had no respect for me when he got together with my ex, and I don’t want him or Sara at my wedding. My parents are begging me to reconsider, saying that “family is family” and that Armando regrets how things happened. They say I’m being too harsh and that holding a grudge will only hurt me in the long run.
Athena is 100% on my side, as are most of my friends. But some family members think I should be the ‘bigger person’ and let Armando come because ‘it’s just one day.’ So now I’m wondering… AITA for refusing to invite my brother to my wedding after he started dating my ex? Rough times man 🥴
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Hahaha absolutely do not invite them to your wedding. He’s disloyal. It’s brutal how family will try and manipulate to make you move on from broken trust.
Felon8 (OP)
Exactly lmfao. This family has so many issues this is just the tip of the iceberg lol.
NTA - Your wedding your choice. You ideally shouldn’t have waited till your wedding invitations to make how you really feel known, but again - your choice.
NTA. Why would you invite someone who doesn’t believe in loyalty? That’s a very bad omen to have at your wedding. Tell your parents and brother that you’d really hate to make him uncomfortable by putting him in a situation that SO clearly goes against his morals.
He might even feel the need to make a move on your fiance, and you’d surely hate to put him in a situation like that, considering he apparently has no control of his junk.
What kind of brother dates your ex who dumped you after 5 years?!! A selfish A-hole. That is who. NTA. Your brother is clearly the AH.
NTA they were already having an emotional affair and deliberately decided she would break up with you so they could be together officially. Even if they had not slept together at that point which they probably had they still cheated.
She wants a new relationship this was a five year relationship and he perused her or let her pursue him. They are no longer family and related to you. I’d be tell your parents that family meant nothing to them when they cheated on you and chose to be together. So they can’t pretend your family or family matters now.
First, it's your wedding your decision on who comes Second, family is family? Um yeah so he shouldn't have been chatting up your girlfriend at the time since you know you were his family! He immediately started dating her, what a pick. Third, who wants a serious ex at their wedding?
Why invite someone who isn't a real part of your life anymore? You're not the AH, it's your wedding, your choice. I wouldn't want to feel awkward and/or negative on my wedding day either! You already made your decision, don't back down on account of other people's feelings. The day is for you and your bride!
You don't want to look back and have bad feelings. If you and your bro make up and become close in the future, it still won't matter. It's weird to have people who aren't really a part of your life in your wedding pics, lol... best of luck to you and emily in the future!!!
Just because your family does not mean you automatically get an invite. Also, he doesn't regret how things turned out because he felt entitled to be at your wedding when he and your ex cheated. I'd also tell any family that think he should be invited that you will happily remove them from the list, too, as all you need is you and your wife to be. Also, if he turns up, he will be removed.
NTA! It's not just one day! It's your wife's and your day! Who wants drama at their wedding when it's already stressful enough? Also your brother was sniffing around your ex before you even broke up. " Big the bigger person!" Bleh, in other words suck it up and be a doormat for FaMiLy~~ but definitely NTA and have a lovely wedding!