'AITA for refusing to let my roommate's 'emotional support' cat live with us?' UPDATED
"AITA for refusing to let my roommate's new 'emotional support' cat live in our no-pets apartment?" **UPDATE BELOW**
So I (26F) live in a 2BR apartment with my roommate Lily (27F). When we moved in 6 months ago, we both agreed on a strict no-pets policy, which is also in our lease. I’m allergic to cats, which Lily knew about, and it’s one of the reasons we picked this place.
Last week, Lily brought home a cat, saying it’s her new “emotional support animal” that she got from a friend. She just showed up with it out of nowhere and said, “It’s not a pet, it’s a medical necessity, so the no-pets rule doesn’t count.” She didn’t even talk to me about it first.
The cat has already been making my allergies flare up. I told Lily I get that she might need support, but the lease says no pets, and my allergies are really bad. I suggested she find the cat a new home or move out if she needs the cat that badly.
She got super defensive, said I was “invalidating her mental health needs” and called me cruel for making her choose. She’s refusing to budge and just letting the cat roam around. AITA for sticking to the no-pets rule even though she says it’s for her mental health?
This is what people had to say to OP:
Pristine-Local-8176 said:
NTA. Lease says no pets. You have allergies. She’s weaponizing her “mental health” to force you into letting the cat stay. If she really needs the cat that badly, she can move and go through whatever process there is for an emotional support animal and get her own place. I say all of this as a cat lover - I have two. I’d never move in with someone and expect them to just suffer and deal with it.
nottobetruffledwith- said:
NTA. She can’t just claim a cat is an emotional support animal..I’m pretty sure there’s actual paper work that has to go into that for it to be considered lol. Someone please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.
Dragon_Queen_666 said:
NTA. Go to the landlord. She's risking your health over this. She's got to go. Tell the landlord that you had nothing to do with her decision to bring an animal into the house.
Five months later, OP shared this update:
Thanks to everyone who commented on my original post. I wanted to give an update since things have developed a bit. After I posted, I tried one more calm conversation with Lily.
I told her I wasn’t trying to be mean, but my allergies had gotten so bad that I couldn’t even sit on the couch without sneezing nonstop. I also mentioned that our lease clearly says no pets unless we have written permission, and neither of us had that.
She doubled down and said that because it’s an “emotional support animal,” the landlord legally has to allow it. I told her that’s not exactly true without proper documentation, and that even then, they’d need to provide reasonable accommodation for both of us. She got annoyed and accused me of “trying to find loopholes to control her.”
At that point, I contacted the landlord myself. I explained that Lily had brought in a cat and that I was allergic. The landlord wasn’t happy. They said there was no record of an approved ESA and that animals aren’t allowed without prior approval. They offered to mediate if we both came to the office.
When Lily found out I’d told the landlord, she was furious. She said I “went behind her back” and that I should have supported her instead of “snitching.” I told her this isn’t about loyalty; it’s about my health and following the lease we both signed.
Long story short, the landlord gave her two options: provide valid ESA paperwork and proof from a licensed mental health professional, or remove the cat. She couldn’t provide the paperwork (she admitted later that she didn’t actually get the cat through any formal process). The landlord gave her a week to either move out or remove the cat.
She ended up moving out a few days ago and took the cat with her. Things were tense until the end, but it’s finally quiet and I can breathe normally again. I honestly feel bad that it came to this, but I also feel like I made the only decision I could. I wasn’t trying to punish her or undermine her mental health, I just physically couldn’t live with the cat. So I guess everything’s settled now, even if it ended awkwardly.