'AITA for refusing to move out of the house I share with my brother and his wife?'
"AITA for refusing to move out of the house I share with my brother and his wife?"
This will be a bit of a long story, thirteen years ago, when I was 20 and my brother was 22, he moved to another city and started renting a small house from an elderly woman. With five other students. Later, when I was 22 and my brother was 24, I decided to change my major and attend university in his city.
During that time, the five students in his house became just one, so... I moved in. Two more years: it was just my brother and I, and the old lady decided to move to America and sell the house. She asked if we want to buy it. The price was... too good so we didn't even think and said yes. And this is how the house became ours.
Seven years ago, my brother met his future wife. Two years later, they married, and she moved in with us. The situation was a bit strange, but ultimately it didn't bother me. Like, we're not at home most of the time anyway because we're all working.
But, 2 months ago, my brother came to me and said we needed to have "this talk." What did he mean by "this talk"? That I needed to move out. At first, he tried to claim it was for my own good and that I was "too old to live with my older brother," but well... then he let it slip that he and Olivia were planning to have children, like at least three. Which led us to "we want to redecorate your room for one of the kids.".
I immediately refused and reminded him that the house was also in my name. My brother said he was willing to pay me for my share, but I "really need to move out.". I said that if I had to move out, I would take all the things I had bought myself in recent years (which means about 70% of the kitchen, bathroom, living room, and generally common areas). My brother got angry and the conversation ended.
I haven't experienced anything bad after that and after a week, he even apologized for his behavior and everything seemed to be going well. Then... our father showed up last Friday. He was ready to "help me pack my stuff" and "take me back to family house."
My brother and his wife were not home at the time, and when I told my father that I didn't know what he meant, he was confused and told me that he and my brother had been talking about it for two months and, according to my brother, "everything was already sorted out."
I ended up sending my father home, and my brother and his wife and I had a huge fight where they called me selfish. But I don't think I'm being selfish? Like, it's my home too. AITA?
What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:
facinationstreet said:
There are choices - your brother and his wife are free to move out as equally as they are to unilaterally attempt to bully you out. They are the ones with the issue, not you. They need to solve their issue themselves. NTA.
No_Eye_3423 said:
What the hell?? NTA. If he wants you to move out he can BUY you out. And what a dick move to send your dad without your knowledge. You own half of the house; he can’t throw you out.
Randa08 said:
I mean you are going to have to make a decision about who gets the house. When you bought it, you cant have thought you would live in it together forever. Did you not discuss what would happen when time came to part ways?
OP responded:
I am a lesbian, and when we bought the house my brother claimed he was gay. For years, we thought the best we could have were lavender marriages like "I'm marrying your boyfriend, you're marrying my girlfriend."
Later, my brother came out as bisexual, but he said that after all these years, he'd gotten used to the fact that he wouldn't have children and that his wife didn't want them either.
night_noche said:
Why do you want to be somewhere where you're not wanted? If you don't want to sell your part, and you don't want to buy him out, then why don't you both decide to sell the house and move elsewhere so that neither one of you stays there?
OP responded:
Because I like my home? It's close to work, I literally walk there, I like my neighbors, and I'm also close to other places. I feel stable here, and I don't want to get into any apartment/house fights that my friends and coworkers are going through. I'm not at a stage in life where I want to make big changes.
crasho7 said:
See what the house would sell for on the open market and let your brother buy you out. Or vice versa. Someone's got to go. Make it equitable. NTA
xThePopeofMope said:
NTA but why don’t you take the house, buy them out and they can use the buy out money to get their own house?
OP responded:
I can't just buy them out in my country if they don't agree first.
OP then shared this edit in response to comments:
Guys, I appreciate the advice, but I need to point out two things. First, I DON'T WANT to move out, and I don't intend to. Second, we're not in America, so a lot of American advice doesn't apply here. My brother can't just buy me out without my consent, I can't buy him out, and neither of us can suddenly demand the entire house be sold.