Woman refuses to push 600 lb cousin in wheelchair at family wedding; 'I am not strong enough.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing to push my obese cousin around in a wheelchair for a day?"
OneSoreSpine
My cousin is approaching six-hundred pounds and requires a mobility scooter, as walking even short distances is very painful for her. In July, she has an out of state wedding to attend, and I was asked to taxi her to and from the event, as I'm not currently employed so my calendar is open.
Unfortunately, my car will not carry a mobility scooter, so my cousin will be required to use a wheel chair. The problem is that this event is being held in a public park. I can barely push her wheelchair on a paved surface, let alone across grass and dirt.
I tried contacting a couple rental agencies in the area but they would not lease scooters in this case because of the off-road use. My aunt and uncle have also declined to loan me their truck, which is how my cousin normally gets around, because I have a pretty terrible driving history.
I did look into renting a vehicle that could carry the scooter, but my cousin cannot afford to pay for that and obviously with me being jobless, I can't either. The distance from parking to the event area is about forty-yards, which my cousin cannot handle walking.
About the best solution anyone's come up with is that the party has a flat bed they're using to tote supplies from the cars, but my cousin says she would feel humiliated having to be rolled in like that.
My cousin is furious with me, saying I'm shaming her by saying I cannot push her, but I feel it's the honest truth. Like 100% the thin wheels of the wheelchair are going to dig into the ground, and I am not strong enough to handle that.
My cousin has done a lot for me in the past, so I do feel bad saying no, but I feel like I've looked into every option at this point. AITA for not being willing to just go and give it the college try? Also, please don't degrade my cousin. I know I can't stop you, but it's all been said before. Please and thank you.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Not_really1010
NTA You mentioned a truck, that her own parents have?? where are they going to be on this weekend that they can't take her? I can't imagine 600 pounds even fits in your vehicle, not sure how that would be managed either, but not your problem.
The OP responded here:
OneSoreSpine
Yeah, I'm kind of concerned about my car too, but I have another big family member who is able to get in and out of it ok, but they are only about 350. My Uncle has significant health issues that would prevent him from doing this drive, and my Aunt is working and does not have vacation hours to utilize.
I've tried pressing them about the truck but they're stubborn. I would also like to note that they are not at all upset with me over this situation, so its not like they're being hypocritical.
BulbasaurRanch
This Aunt and Uncle are her parents? If yes, that truck needs to be used. Either tell them you drive the truck, or the three of them can find another solution.
shrew0809
NTA. Look, I've seen the difference between 350 and 500 and it's significant. I don't know your build but I know there's no way in hell I'd be able to push either of them in a wheelchair.
It sucks, but your cousin's size and health concerns mean she may have to sit a lot of events out, including this wedding. That is not your fault. You've tried to be accommodating and you can't be held responsible for her mobility needs.
Having-hope3594
NTA. Honestly, you sound like you have searched for every possible solution.
I don’t know why your cousin is furious with you.
Ulfgeirr88
Misplaced anger due to embarrassment would be my guess. No one gets to that size with good mental health, so it might he easier for her to lash out rather than self reflect.
Rare-City6847
You are NTA. Just FYI. Your car and it's interior are not designed to have 600+lbs in one seat. IDC what car you have. Unless you have a pickup, and she rides in the back, your car is NOT made for that kind of heavy duty work.
For example: A Dodge charger can only carry 865lbs total if the weight is equally distributed. Yes I know it can probably handle more, but tell your family it simply isn't safe. Maybe this can be her wakeup call? She's too big to attend a wedding.
PandaEnthusiast89
This, and we all know damn well if OP folded to the pressure and agreed to transport the cousin which resulted in his/her car getting damaged, it would be crickets from the family when he/she needed money for car repairs.
Rare-City6847
And I also want to say that I mean absolutely no offense, but is she even capable to take a long car ride? I watch my 600lb life, and a lot of those people aren't capable of going on long car rides. Idk the situation here though. Just something to think about.
ringwraith6
What does she expect you to do? If you physically can't do it, you can't do it. Maybe her parents would be willing to give you the money for a rental van that could fit a mobility scooter? ETA: NTA
Splendid_Trousers
NTA. For me, it's nothing to do with her size, but the fact you've gone out if your way to try and help and you've been met with a 'furious' response. You've in no way shamed her, in fact you've warned people not to be rude about her in their replies to your post.
Also, I may be wrong but I'm picking up a bit of a bullying vibe towards you. You reference having a bad driving history and being unemployed. Please don't let anyone treat you badly when you are clearly a thoughtful person.