'AITA for refusing to quit my job because my boyfriend thinks the corporate world is 'soul-sucking'?'
"AITA for refusing to quit my job because my boyfriend thinks the corporate world is 'soul-sucking'?"
Affectionate_Sir7593
So I've been dating this guy (27M) for two years now. Dude is like anti-corporate to the extreme. He’s constantly going off about how capitalism is trash, anyone working a “normal” job is brainwashed, blah blah blah.
Meanwhile, I’m (25F) actually doing pretty well at my office job. I mean, it’s not my “life’s passion” or anything, but it’s solid, I’m decent at it, and hey, it pays the bills.
About a year ago, he started hardcore pushing me to quit. According to him, I need to “break free” from this “slave mindset” and, I quote, “find myself.” He keeps talking about how we could live this carefree, spontaneous life, “following our souls” or whatever.
He’s got these big dreams of us “living off the grid” with zero responsibilities… but no actual plan on how we’re supposed to survive other than “going with the flow.” When I asked for real details, he just got vague and started saying I don’t understand what true freedom is.
So, just a couple days ago, he gave me this ultimatum: either I quit my job and “wake up to real life,” or he’s out, because he’s done dating an “office zombie.” And, to make things worse, he says I’m the one holding him back ‘cause my “chains” are stressing him out.
I tried explaining that, like, I actually like my life the way it is, and it is my paycheck that is covering all of our rent and food half the time and that it is not his little “side hustles.”
When I told him no way, he stormed out, and now half our friends are telling me I’m missing out on a “once-in-a-lifetime” chance to live my best life. The other half thinks he’s just trying to guilt-trip me into dropping everything to follow his fantasy. So, AITA for choosing stability and not jumping into his whole “free spirit” lifestyle? Like, sorry, but someone has gotta be the adult here, right?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Freerangechickem
It sounds like he is the one draining your resources and holding you back. Free time isn’t that fun when you have zero dollars. Set that free spirit free.
Quirky_Independent79
NTA. The trash took itself out. Let us know how the poor man’s Bear Grylls is doing once you close your wallet to him.
Rooster_Fish-II
NTA. Sounds like a loser. All those grand plans of living off the grid, blah blah blah, are for trust fund influencers who don’t live in reality. Life costs money and money comes from somewhere. Living in a van down by the river, delivering DoorDash might work for him but it doesn’t make you wrong. Let him go and focus on your own happiness.
BlackEyedRat
I mean alternative lifestyles are cool and I am envious of them often as a fellow “corporate drone”. But they also require a pretty rare set of circumstances to work comfortably. You either need a well paid freelance or influencer role or a good amount of startup capital.
He may hate capitalism but at the end of the day money makes the world go round and he’ll find “true freedom” without any cash is a difficult path to walk. I’m also confused as to what you are missing out on by breaking up?
What is this dude providing that literally anybody couldn’t provide? You could decide a week after dumping this loser that you want the vanlife and then it would be open to you to pursue that, without this anchor on your finances.
PatentlyRidiculous
NTA. Can’t wait to see how he feels about your corporate job and capitalism when he needs to go to the hospital.
Boot him.
Unusual-Solid3435
NTA, drop him. Find a corporate man and focus on your careers. He sounds like he will drag you down to his level. My wife and I both have been going hard in the corporate world for almost 6-7 years, our combined income is over half a million now, when we started it was about 20k a year each for an intern-like part-time job.
We're both in the same position (software engineering) and thus are always teaching and supporting each other. Just be smart and make sure you're pursuing a career that pays well.
AdWaste3417
He sounds like Chris McCandless! Wants to run off and be free but with no plan for long term survival whatsoever…. Ask if he’s read “Into The Wild” recently? Just curious. You’re no kind of AH for not wanting to do this with him, PARTICULARLY because he has NO plan.
Some survivalist homesteaders do absolutely incredible, but they learned how and made a plan first. It takes a lot of work to stay warm and dry and fed and hydrated out there. I’d rather go to the grocery store than have to shoot squirrels to eat and pray all my crops grow right. Sounds stressful.
Certain_Mobile1088
He can bash “the man” bc he is using “the woman,” amirite? I can agree with his general analysis and still disagree with what is “require” of me to be true to myself. And here is a newsflash for him. Bc we are social animals, freedom is not absolute. His freedom ends when it impinges on another’s. His free ass sounds like it’s more a freeloader...
Ready-Zombie5635
NTA - I mean, I sort of know what he means. I've been doing office jobs since I was 18 and am 52 now. It is soul-sucking. The thing is, money is nice too. Having stuff. A place to live, a car, being able to do stuff. Raising a family, giving them a good education etc.
My point being I don't necessarily disagree with your boyfriend, but what is right with you? Some people like working in an office and enjoy the trappings and wealth you can get from it. Some people want to go live in a camper van and tour the world. Each to their own.
Forget about your boyfriend for a moment. The question is what do you want from your life? What are your goals, dreams and aspirations? What does that look like? Some people would loathe the vagabond while others yearn for it. Which one are you OP? If anyone 'might' be an AH here it is your boyfriend trying to pressure you into a lifestyle you might not want.