Mom refuses to forgive sister’s dangerous attempt to 'cure' her disabled son. AITA?
"AITA for Refusing to Speak to My Sister After She Tried to “Fix” My Disabled Son Behind My Back?"
Sad_Addition_2619
I (38F) have a son, Leo (5M), who has a rare neurological disorder. Leo is non-verbal, has difficulty with motor skills, and has developmental delays. Despite these challenges, Leo is an incredibly happy child, always smiling and enjoying the world in his own unique way. I’ve always loved him for who he is, and I’ve built my life around making sure he has everything he needs to thrive.
My sister, Alice (42F), has always been one of those people who think she knows best about everything. She’s never been subtle about her opinions on how I should “fix” Leo, constantly suggesting bizarre treatments or diets. I’ve always politely declined, explaining that Leo’s condition is not something that can be “cured” and that we love him exactly as he is.
Recently, Alice offered to take Leo for the weekend so my husband and I could have some time to ourselves. I was hesitant but thought maybe she was trying to bond with her nephew, so I agreed.
Two days later, I went to pick him up, and Alice seemed weirdly upbeat. I went inside and noticed Leo wasn’t in his usual happy mood. He was lethargic and seemed unwell. I asked Alice what happened, and she just smiled and said, “Oh, I took matters into my own hands. You can thank me later.”
Confused, I pressed her for more details, and that’s when she casually mentioned that she took Leo to a “specialist” she found online. Apparently, this “specialist” was some unlicensed quack who claims he can “reverse” neurological disorders with a combination of extreme sensory deprivation, “herbal treatments,” and “detox procedures.”
Alice admitted she had taken Leo to this man’s “clinic” for a two-day session, which involved placing Leo in a dark room for hours, forcing him to drink some kind of foul-smelling concoction, and subjecting him to “re-alignment therapy,” which turned out to be this man stretching and manipulating Leo’s limbs and joints for hours.
I was horrified. I demanded to know why she would do something so reckless and dangerous. Alice just shrugged and said she was “tired” of seeing me “enable” Leo’s condition and that she was “only trying to help.” She then had the audacity to say, “At least I’m doing something instead of coddling him like you do!”
I immediately took Leo to the hospital. He was severely dehydrated, and the doctors were furious when they heard what happened. They said the “treatments” Alice subjected him to were abusive and potentially life-threatening. Leo had to stay in the hospital for observation.
I was livid. I confronted Alice, telling her she was never to come near my son again. She had the nerve to call me “ungrateful,” saying she “sacrificed” her time and money to “fix” Leo, and that I was “too emotional” to see the bigger picture.
The family has now taken sides. My parents and some relatives are calling me cruel and saying Alice “did her best” and that I’m overreacting. They’re saying I should “forgive” her because she was “just trying to help in her own way.” My husband is furious and wants to cut off everyone who’s siding with Alice. He also wants to file a police report for child abuse.
Alice is playing the victim, posting on social media about how I’m “unreasonable” and “preventing” Leo from getting the “treatment he needs.” She’s garnered a ton of sympathy from her friends who have no idea what really happened.
I’ve blocked her on everything, but now people are calling me “cold-hearted” and “dramatic” for wanting to go no-contact with my own sister. AITA for refusing to forgive my sister after she tried to “fix” my disabled son behind my back and endangered his life?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
lemondeahh
I agree with your husband on filing a police report and cutting everyone out of your life who is on her side. That’s such a violation and harmful to your child… you need to not care what others think of you and your family and CUT THEM OUT.
Lilpanda21
OP should definitely consider a Facebook reply saying her sister lied to her and took him to unscientific treatments without permission and caused severe pain and dehydration.
PositionSuch1097
NTA What your sister did is monstrous. Leo isn’t some broken toy that needs to be “fixed”! He’s your son, and he deserves to be loved and protected for who he is. Your sister’s ignorance and arrogance are dangerous, and what she did was abuse, plain and simple.
Skurrio
NTA and I'm with the Husband. If possible go even further.
canyonemoon
NTA. I support your husband; report this. It's monstrous and it's child abuse. Your son isn't a toy that's been broken that needs to be fixed. He's a living and breathing child. Anyone who excuses your sister's actions is someone, you really should re-evaluate if they ever should have any access to you and your family again.
Duckie1986
YTA for not already filing a police report. Your husband is right, police report and cut off anyone who told you to forgive her.
FerretCool7956
NTA. Your sister's actions were incredibly reckless, dangerous, and completely overstepped your boundaries as a parent. She put your son's health and life at risk by taking him to an unlicensed “specialist” without your consent, and the fact that he ended up in the hospital shows just how harmful her decisions were. Your anger and decision to cut her off are completely justified.
Independent-Tap1315
NTA. That’s totally messed up. I have a disabled son and it’s amazing how many people think you can “fix” an incurable disease. My son has muscular dystrophy and I have had multiple people claim he “just needs to go to the gym”. Which would damage what little muscle he has. If I found out someone took him to the gym in a ridiculously moronic attempt to “cure” him … they would get sued.