'AITA for refusing to split the check evenly on a bachelorette trip with nine other women?'

"AITA for refusing to split the check evenly on a bachelorette trip with 9 women?"

I went on a Bachelorette trip in August to celebrate my best-friend of 4+ years who is getting married next May. So it was a total of 10 of us on this trip 3 (me, Kat and the Bride) are in TX, the other 7 live in CA (4 are the Brides sisters, 3 are friends) The TX group flew out to CA to meet the other group, we then flew out the next day to our destination in MX

First day we went out to dinner and the club While at dinner we are all aware how difficult and unrealistic it would be for a check to be split 10 ways So one would pay the whole pay, get an itemized receipt and the next day we'd all take turns looking over the receipt and Venmo the person who paid including tax and tip. This just seemed the most easy and smooth way to go about things.

After dinner we go out to the club where immediately after entering we have a section and bottle service comes out, an hour later another bottle service comes out and majority are a bit confused as to who ordered the next one? Something to highlight, 2 out of the 10 don't drink tequila, and 1 drinks beer only.

Just quick context I had stepped away to use the rr with another girl when I grabbed the brides phone as it was on the edge of the section and she was drunk. We go and come back 5 minutes later, everybody is gone, they are outside yelling and the bride is getting into it with one of her sisters.

Apparently she thought some random girl stole her phone and chased this random lady down the street barefoot in MX, some very nasty words were exchanged between 3 sisters including the bride. We ended the night and went back to the hotel.

Next day we get a text from Lori (1 sister) stating "its 88$ each for the club last night" No itemized receipt just a basic transaction receipt. That's 800$ for one night at the club.

We called a quick meeting as 3 never touched the bottle And others didn't drink as much. Me, Kat and 2 others felt we are here to enjoy the trip but also aren't blowing money to just spend, and we should all be paying for what we order.

Lori said she ordered the 2nd bottle bc "the light up candle sparklers excited her" and well now she's expecting everybody to pay for the extra bottle. I went out of my way to email the club and asked for an itemized receipt which I received the next day, each bottle was about 222$ along with 2 buckets of beer that was ordered and 1 bucket of red bull.

We leave that as it is for now and just get ready for next day dinner. While at this dinner me and Kat are starting to hear others make smart comments, or give certain looks, or exclude us from pictures. Some comments we heard that night were "make sure we all pay for what we ordered."

When the check came we were able to split it 4 ways, so everybody got into small groups, me and Kat paid together, but since we are in MX it took us time to go through the receipt and convert it from Pesos to USD Roughly for the check to go around the whole 4 groups it took 30 minutes, but during the 30 minutes we hear more comments "why is this taking so long" "why can't we just split it evenly."

Maybe bc some people specifically are ordering shots back to back, clase azul shots, and eating lobster tails like it's an open buffet. This is exactly why we shouldn't be splitting all bills evenly 10 ways.

I kept my mouth shut, never made comments back, bc it wasn't the time nor the place and I kept telling myself they are the bride sisters. After dinner everybody went out except for me Kat we decided to go back to the hotel as we were already feeling very uncomfortable with the continuous snarky comments.

Kat was very emotional about the whole situation especially how uncomfortable we were feeling, so much so that we looked up flights back home. But we slept on it and decided to speak to the Bride instead.

Next day we (Kat and I) have a conversation with the Bride. We express the comments people are making, how uncomfortable we are feeling, Kat is explaining her side and starts to cry a bit out of frustration. Kat mentions we looked at flights back home only for the Bride to cut her off mid sentence and says to us "If yall want to leave yall can" To say I was disappointed is minimal.

I was feeling sad, mad and mostly misunderstood, we all spent so much money on flights and the hotel to come celebrate her only for her to not see our side of things and be very defensive the whole conversation.

Me and Kat spoke privately and decided to try and put this to the side as we still have 3 days to go and try to make the best out of the trip. The rest of the trip goes fine. We go back home and I do not reach out to the Bride for about 3 weeks, as I need space, I'm sure she wants space and eventually my plan was to text her and meet for lunch/dinner to speak in person about the trip.

Instead I get a text of her deciding to end our friendship, she states I was very inappropriate on the trip, was disrespectful to others and that I don't celebrate her wins with her, especially on the most exciting trip of her life.

I responded with what made the most sense to me. Very direct, honest and not in any way disrespectful but rather very disappointed in this all. To not even give me the decency to see me in person to speak says a lot more about her then to me. I then blocked her on everything.

I want to clarify I was not being cheap or "broke" on this trip, I came on the trip with roughly 2K if needed but not with the mindset of let me blow it all. So the question is, AITA here?

This is what people had to say to OP:

kicaboojooce said:

So others wanted their trip funded, and got upset when it wasn't. Were they ordering the same expensive services and items when checks were split evenly, or did they stick to a more realistic budget. Overall the trip seems outrageously excessive and expensive unless y'all are in crazy different income brackets than the majority of people.

OP responded:

I will say everybody's income was different, very very different. Again it's the principle, if I order steak and 3 drinks but you order 3 shrimp lobster tails and 10 shots with 5 cocktails splitting evenly makes no sense to me

JGalKnit said:

I hate the "split equally" when someone is going nutty with drinks. Or food.

Majestic_Solution496 said:

This is in peso's? That's 635 USD split by 9 people that's only $70. So yes I believe you are the a$$hole. Paying that goes a lot longer of a way than the resentment that ensues if ur the only person who refused.

DeeLeetid said:

Look, I’m the most frugal person around, and absolutely loathe split checks when I feel like someone is taking advantage of the situation. That said, this is nuts. These details should have been hammered out long before the event even took place. And you are there to celebrate the bride for a monumental occasion (that you agreed to be a part of). And she needs to watch her lobster tail consumption?!

Then you corner the bride to unload on her your feelings and inform her of your thoughts on leaving?! She’s the LAST person who should’ve been brought into this mess. SHE is the guest of honor. And you were clearly pissy enough to need “space” for weeks after it was over. I don’t blame her one bit for feeling let down by you.

Ok_Friend_9735 said:

NTA. But I probably would have advised not talking to the bride during the trip and sticking it out until you got home. The last thing a bride wants is to be stuck in the middle of drama when the trip is supposed to be about her.

It probably would have been better to try to have a conversation with the sisters and work it out without the bride’s involvement. It sucks she’s chosen to end your friendship, but maybe it’s for the best if she’s not open to hearing you out now that the trip’s over.

OP responded:

When it was brought up in the group discussion all it created was snarky comments, and hostility. To be in a room with people who are talking about you. Very uncomfortable.

Foreign_Sky_1309 said:

800 dollars/10 = 80.00 dollars per head, not bad at all on receipt # 2. Not sure what the problem was?

And OP responded:

3 people didn't touch any bottles at the club. And you are expected to pay ?? How does that make sense. And at dinners I'm eating shrimp, my 2 drinks and water while others have no self control and are ordering lobster tails and clase azul shots. Do the math now​​​​​​​