'AITA for refusing to take my GF home from a party after she embarrassed herself?'
"AITA for refusing to take my GF home from a party after she embarrassed herself?"
Just-War-115
A coworker invited me to a housewarming party, he bought a really nice house with a large yard, a pool and even a waterfall flowing into the pool. I wouldn't say I'm necesarrily friends with him but we're friendly and make small talk when we see each other.
We don't really hang out by ourselves. He's a nice guy but we don't have too many interests. He told me I can bring my girlfriend. At that party I knew about 3 out of the 40 people there.
At the party my girlfriend began complaining to me about the food options saying they don't follow her diet, she can't eat them, the host should have gotten better food, the paintings on the wall are tacky, his furniture sucks, that the music is pretty lame and a bunch of other ridiculous complaints.
We live in São Paulo at the moment but we're from a region in Southern Brazil where most people speak Hunsrik, which is a type of German, though its a bit distinct from standard German, someone from Germany wouldn't understand everything I say.
She complained in Hunsrik, assuming that everyone at the party only knew Portuguese but my coworker was near us and he said what I guess is standard German, "I'm sorry we don't have any food that fits your dietary restrictions, if you are hungry there is a store about 400 meters from here, it closes in an hour. I'm sorry you don't appreciate the music selection would you like to play something?"
My girlfriend looked shock, her jaw dropped and she just stuttered for a bit, a few people snicker in the back and another guy translates what happened and she responded back in Portuguese "how do you all know German? I had no idea" and my coworker explains he and 3 other people in this party used to work in Germany and that's how they know each other.
My girlfriend pulled me aside and said she's so embarassed and wants to go home. I told her no, I'm having a good time here and she's begging me to bring her back saying she's so embarassed and she can't handle this and I told her she shouldn't talk trash about people and she's getting what she deserved, this broke out into a screaming match. She demanded I give her the car keys and I refused.
We stayed at the party for another 2-3 hours, she talked to some other girls but was kind of quiet. On the ride home we got into another argument where she says I should have taken her side and I unleashed a lot of my frustration onto her saying she is actually the one causing embarassment by insulting my coworker.
She blamed me for not telling her he speaks German I told her that wasn'r relevant and i never thought to bring it up. (I honestly didn't know he spoke it that well, he just briefly mentioned living in Germany once at a meeting). So yeah was I in the wrong here?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Zesty_Mayo4570
NTA. At the end of the day, she did play a stupid game and won a befittingly stupid prize. At least its just embarrassment, from the context provided it doesn't seem like anyone else made a big deal about the things she said.
I don't think you should be obligated to take her side being that she was the cause of the embarrassing moment. Also saying rude things expecting nobody to be able to understand her makes her the AH imo.
niaatthebeach
There’s no question here about her being the AH or not, this behavior is a red flag where she says OP must have taken her side. If she was remorseful at least, it’d be a different case.
Zesty_Mayo4570
Even if she was remorseful, that would only be due to getting caught Not much of a different case methinks.
Dittoheadforever
You're NTA. Your girlfriend is incredibly rude and hopefully taught herself an important lesson about talking smack and insulting her host... or anyone else, for that matter. Better think about that little glimpse into your future if you choose to stay with that woman.
Lost_Return_6524
Mostly this is just awkward for everyone else at the party. Having a screaming match at someone else's party is not cool. ESH you should have left, out of decency.
URABrokenRecord
ESH hard agree. It made it uncomfortable for all involved. Including the host. Even if my gf was totally in the wrong I still love them and would bring them home. I would not enjoy to watch them suffer.
Ok_Stable7501
Why didn’t you just get her a cab? Did everyone at the party enjoy her company or the two of you yelling? ESH. Punishing her by making everyone else put up with her isn’t fair to them. I don’t think either of you are getting another invitation.
Edit: I see that cabs are expensive and she wouldn’t pay, but is that a reason to make everyone at the party put up with her? If I was the host, I’d be asking you both to leave.
malagdjicaf
I know I'm gonna get downvoted, but after carefully reading your comments - ESH. Sure, she was the AH for her behaviour, but you knew she couldn't leave without you/your car.
So, for that, you are also the AH. And I'm picking some major teach-her-a-lesson vibes here, which is manipulative and abusive. You could have driven her and then returned to the party if you really wanted to stay that much. Do you even like her?
Peony-Pony
NTA Your girlfriend was a guest at someone's home warming party and complained about the food, the furnishings and the music. She assumed people couldn't understand her and she was wrong. If she was embarrassed, it's her own fault for being rude and ungracious.