'AITA for refusing to unblock my ex when my partner demanded I do so?' UPDATED

"AITA for refusing to unblock my ex when my partner demanded I do so?"

Yesterday, I (32f) woke up, made my partner of 6 months (31m), and I breakfast, and we had a great time! I ended up spilling most of the food on the floor, but we laughed while cleaning it up, and there was enough left in the pan to make him a plate. Totally fine, I don’t usually eat breakfast anyway!

The problem happened after he finished breakfast and took a shower. Once he came out of the shower I made a joke and he responded with a serious comment. I replied that it was just a joke and I started laughing. He completely turned defensive saying he wasn’t in the mood for laughing. He has had something on his mind and he needs me to provide proof.

He proceeded to demand I unblock my ex to send him a message, proving that I wasn’t still talking to my ex. I was suddenly sick. I didn’t want to unblock my ex to open that can of worms so I held firm with a “no, I’m not going to do that.” He started threatening to text my ex, apparently he has gone through my blocked numbers and saved my ex’s number for a rainy day.

I started shaking because he was demanding I text him or my partner would cancel the lease and he leave me. We just lost our pregnancy so I said, “what if I was still pregnant?” He responded with “then I would be stuck.”

He was very intimidating with words and actions so I ended up unblocking my ex and messaging him to which my ex never responded. AITA here/am I overreacting? I feel like I should leave. The physical aggression and intimidation is very triggering from previous trauma and I was terrified by how quickly his mood and actions changed. Advice is greatly appreciated 💕

Edit: the joke I made was about moving in with my female best friend while my partner goes on a 10 day cruise. She is married with two kids with no room to spare and my partner knows this.

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

ImAnNPCsoWhat said:

Leave yesterday. Sane people don't act like abusers at the flip of a switch.

When someone shows you who they are believe them.

OP responded:

Yes, we had a great friendship prior to dating. I feel like our friendship has vanished since he “broke up” with his female best friend… not at my request, but I think he finally realized that the married woman he was “best friends” was Emotionally cheating on her husband with my partner… thusly he was also emotionally cheating on me. I never said anything, though. He came to that conclusion himself

hollsh said:

Run. Please run. You’re not the AH but you will be VERY foolish to stay.

OP responded:

I recently lost my employment so I’m in a rough spot.

Equivalent_Reason894 said:

You have been with him for six months and you are living with him and got pregnant? I’m sorry for your loss, but please—date the next guy for at least a year before living with him and get on some reliable birth control. It sounds as though you are letting things happen, not making decisions that are in your best interest.

Hemiak said:

Ugh. Run away. And for the love of god. Don’t live with someone you’ve only been with a couple months. Also, if anyone threatens to leave you if you don’t do what they say, leave. Don’t let that controlling, manipulative, bs in your life.

Reasonable_Cable_464 said:

Leave that dude he probably cheating

OP later shared this update:

So I did it. After 4 hours I asked if I could block my ex again and he said yes. Later in the day I asked a friend if she had free time and we agreed to meet up. After I told my partner I had made plans for late afternoon with a friend, he started screaming at me for spending time away from him on the weekend.

He started the physical aggression again, punching the walls and throwing things, then told me to get out. He proceeded to lock me out (I don’t have a key to the deadbolt and neither does he, but I heard him lock the door and then the deadbolt since he followed me out to the door.)

Within seconds, he then text me “run away and stay somewhere else” but he literally just told me to get out and knows I have nowhere else to go. All I wanted was to spend a few hours with a friend and get some clarity on our relationship.