'AITA for refusing to wake up my husband when my parents visited? I kicked them out when they insisted.'

"AITA for refusing to wake up my husband when my parents visited and kicking them out when they insisted?"

Husband and I have been married for 5 years now and we are both 29 years old.

The last three weeks, due to a complete screw up in a department in the company my husband works for it has been all hand on deck for my husband and his team to resolve the issues.

My husband has been working 18 hour a day and even some days not even coming home working throughout the entire night and into the next day. I don't know much about the issues exactly but what I do know is that if they do not resolve the issues it will be a 50 million dollar loss for the company. The issues are not the result of my husband or anyone in his team but they are the ones that has to fix the issues.

I can see the exhaustion in my husband's face when he comes in as 2-3 in the morning when I'm awake and leaves at 7 again. I don't know how he is doing it, and just keeps going but I try my best to keep as much as possible of his plate at home until he could get the issues resolved. Before this he has been nothing but supportive and helpful around the house.

When he comes home he eats, showers and goes straight to bed. I have found him some nights literally sleeping at the table while he was busy eating when I went down to check on him because he wasn't in bed yet and I got woken up or him passed out on the foot of the bed with the shower running and him still in his work clothes.

Two nights back he got home at around midnight which is late but was to early from when he normally get back and I thought something bad happened because he looked like a ghost but through his exhaustion he gave me this massive smile and said, they did it and everything is done.

He told me the boss gave them each a couple days off and he only needs to be back in the office next week Tuesday. He ate dinner, took a shower and got into bed.

I got up the next morning around 9 and made breakfast, I thought about waking up my husband but didn't and let him sleep. Around 12 my parents visited me, I normally work from home and they do visit from time to time seeing as I'm 6 months pregnant as well. I greeted them and we sat down and had coffee.

Around 30 minutes into their visit they asked where my husband was because they saw his truck in the driveway. I told them he was still sleeping, my mother gave me a look and said it's unacceptable for my husband to still be sleeping past 12:00 especially with a pregnant wife and i should wake him up.

I told them no and to leave it and then explained the full situations of what happened the last three weeks to them. They didn't budge and insisted I wake my husband up, apparently it's not right for him to sleep in with a pregnant wife. It went as far as my mother standing up and saying if i wouldn't do it then she will go and wake him up.

I stood up and blocked my mother from going up the stairs and told my parents if they find it so wrong for my husband to get proper sleep after 3 weeks of barely any sleep they should leave our house because I will not and I refuse to let them wake him up as well. I told them, I will let my husband sleep until he wakes up himself, i will not disturb him and i will not allow anyone els to disturb him.

They asked if I am kicking them out and I said yes, if they can't respect my request to leave my husband alone and let him sleep they are no longer welcome. Their whole visited lasted around an hour. Around 3pm, I got bombarded with text from other family members berating me for kicking my parents out of our house even my sister and brother berating me for doing it.

Telling me I'm TA for kicking them out for just trying to help. Even after I explained the situation some family members are still on my parents side saying I overreacted by kicking them out, because they were only looking out for my safety seeing as I'm pregnant.

Edit: Unfortunately I have a family is somewhat close and loves to talk. Secrets don't stay secret in this family for long especially with my aunts and cousins that can't keep anything to themselves, as soon as they know something everyone els has to know it as well. Bit of extra information i see kept getting asked. This is my first child, she will also be the first grandchild and the first child born in the family the last 20 years.

The internet had a lot of thoughts to share.

Impossible_Nebula_33 wrote:

Trying to help with what? Your husband sleeping and you minding your own business working from home? I would be calling everyone on group call and giving them a piece of my mind. I don’t tolerate disrespect like that. It’s your home they came in giving unsolicited opinions and your relatives would be getting it too for sticking their beaks where they don’t belong. You’re pregnant not terminally ill.

OP responded:

That was my point as well. It's not like the pregnancy is keeping me from not being able to do anything everything is going great with the pregnancy except feeling like a ball other than that I'm fine.

Irrelevant_Tubor wrote:

Wife and mother-to- be of the year.

Recognizes her husband's hard work

Protects his peace.

OP responded:

Thank you, I'll try my best to live up to that title.

TALKTOME0701 wrote:

NTA. Both your parents were right there. Are they saying if you needed something neither of them would have been able to help you? On a positive note It's so refreshing to read of a spouse who is understanding and has their partner's back. Keep it up, OP. Your husband is a lucky guy.

OP responded:

I didn't even think about that. It's actually the other way around but thank you.

MrsFernandoAlonzo wrote:

You are NTA but your parents and anyone backing them up are. You absolutely did the right thing letting your husband rest. He deserves to and if your parents wanted to help they could have offered to cook or clean or something useful. Causing you stress and disrespecting you was the opposite of helping.

FreezingColdDesk wrote:

NTA. There is a real obsession with older generations and having control over what they think are the "correct" times to sleep, regardless of how people's lives stop them from sleeping like them. I am sure your husband was more than thankful that you spent those 3 week supporting him and that you let him sleep.

You are an adult and your parent's should respect the relationship and way of life you have, regardless if they think it's "wrong" how you do it, and asking them to leave is the nicest way possible to avoid that issue from blowing up into something more.

Full_Pace7666 wrote:

Someone give this lady a trophy for being an awesome spouse. NTA.