'AITA for refusing to work on the house that my girlfriend bought?' 'I am going to get burned out.'
"AITA for refusing to work on the house that my girlfriend bought?"
My girlfriend's aunt passed away about two weeks into our relationship. Two months later she put an offer on the house. Her aunt was a hoarder. There is nicotine on the walls, and we removed a lot of stuff out of the house. Now the interior of the house needs work. Her mom and her mom's boyfriend have been doing a lot of work on the house.
My girlfriend started to drive 30 minutes from her job to the house to help. She is expecting me to do the same every day after work. I don't want to. I don't have the mental capacity to go work after working my regular job for 8 hours and then work on the house all weekend. My job is also 30 minutes from the house. The house is not even officially hers. Her loan is still pending.
I am going to get burned out quickly from my job, the house, and our relationship if my working on the house every night. My girlfriend is trying to guilt trip me into coming every night by saying how her mom and her mom's boyfriend are doing this for free and how I'm just sitting there.
They don't work a full time job. I'm grateful for their help but I don't want to work every night right after work. AITA for refusing to work every night after work?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
3xlduck said:
NTA. This is not your house, and you have no equity in it, nor are they giving you any equity. Plus, unless this is a fun hobby for you, this is not good way to spend your evenings after work. You need to rest, do errands, and be recharged for your next day at work.
DFTgamer said:
NTA. No one should be working on that house at all until the offer has been accepted and the title is in your GF's name, they maybe shouldn't even be on the property at all if it doesn't belong to them, I'm guessing the bank foreclosed on it or something since it obviously wasn't willed to anyone in the family.
Actually them working on it now for free is probably improving the value if it was in such a state and may end up costing them more once it's been valued.
lmchatterbox said:
NTA. You don’t owe her free labor here.
feminist1946 said:
NTA. Talk to her about expectations for the future. It will be her house and her mortgage unless you agree on something else. Otherwise you are just the unpaid help.
Mommabroyles said:
NTA when you break up she's keeping the house, it's hers. If you are planning on living there, helping get it ready is fine, but not every day like a second job. It's not your house.
Stranger0nReddit said:
NTA. I think it's unrealistic and unreasonable to ask someone to drive a distance everyday after a full work day to do manual labor. I can get asking to help on a day off, especially if there are plans for you to live there, but right now her expectations of you are just not right.
Also, her mom and her boyfriend are making a choice to work there for free. Nothing is obligating them to do that, so it's not fair to use that as a way to guilt you into it.