Brother's GF tries to evict his 15yo sister - gets shocking reality check when she learns teen owns the house. AITA?
"AITA for reminding my brother’s girlfriend that I own half of the house we live in so she can’t easily get rid of me?"
I’m 15F and have been living with my big brother (25) for the last 3 years. Our dad died 3 years ago and our mum abandoned us 7 years ago and is living abroad in Japan with her new family.
I’m very independent and don’t need a lot of attention and generally mind my own business. So I’m not a nuisance or a third wheel, I just need to be left alone. The house we live in belonged to our dad and he left it equally to both of us.
My brother’s been saying his girlfriend for a couple of years now, she’s not bad and I generally liked her. However, she wants to move in here and they’re talking about getting serious. I talked to my brother about how this would work and he thinks it’s too soon to discuss it and we’ll sort out the details when it’s more serious.
Ok so the other day she came to me and asked about my plans about uni and if I wanted to stay around and told her that yeah I plan to stay home while going to uni. She suggested it might be good for my “growth” to go to a different city and get exposed to new experiences and people, also suggested boarding school for next year.
I smelled BS so told her what it’s really about and she mentioned that they’re getting serious and want to start a family soon and I won’t have a place here as they’re growing their family. Talked about importance of nuclear family and all that nonsense.
I asked why is she trying to get rid of me, I’ve done her no harm and she said it isn’t personal and it’s just that their family will deserve to have their own space without relatives living with them.
I reminded her that I own half of this “space” so she’s delusional if she thinks she can just get rid of me. She initially said my brother has done enough for me already and it’s fine I do something for him but also said let’s not continue this discussion now.
Later my brother told me I was unnecessarily aggressive and instead should have come to him about what she said. I told him I didn’t approach her she was trying to manipulate me to get rid of me.
He thinks she was wrong to do that but I was unnecessarily aggressive and she didn’t mean bad and now I’ve damaged our relationship maybe permanently. Later he had a fight with her. He hasn’t talked to me since then (4 days now), she also hasn’t been over since then. AITA for being too aggressive to her?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA Isn’t your brother also your legal guardian? Would she attempt to get rid of his child if he had one? You are currently a package deal and she needs to get over it. You can be as aggressive as you want when someone who doesn’t even live with you is attempting to remove you from your own home for their convenience.
WitchInDisguise8 (OP)
Yes he is my legal guardian.
Since your brother wasn't a part of this conversation between you and his girlfriend, how does he know you were communicating aggressively? Did he ask you to describe the conversation from your perspective then reply that your wording was aggressive, or did he just listen to his girlfriend's complaints and take her side without talking to you first?
It sounds like your brother's girlfriend is trying to come between the two of you and he is falling for it. As your guardian, he should be on your side and ensuring that your home is a safe shelter.
Is there another adult family member (aunt, uncle, grandparent, or trusted friend of your father's) that you could go to with your concerns if the girlfriend continues to try and steal your home/inheritance?
No, she cares about herself and her goals. You have legal rights to this home and if it’s so important to them they can buy you out of it when they’re ready, if you want to sell.
She tried to throw you out of your own house? Wow!
I do think you need to sit and talk to your brother about this.
NTA. If your brother thinks you should have come to him, it's worth mentioning that she came to you, and perhaps should have gone to him first. And it's not wrong to remind her that you would not be living there with them, she'd be living there with you.
NTA! Your brother in this scenario is the AH. What you did was not aggressive. It is fact. Your brother needs to get his girlfriend in check and you need to let your brother know you are half owner of your home and plan to stay and not move. Your brother needs to pull his head out of his ass and dump that crotch.
NTA. That’s awful of your brother for not protecting you from a grown woman pressuring a teen to leave her own home.
This is absolutely outrageous behavior from her side. I would even say despicable. Anyone would be shocked or you might say aggressive. So of course you didn't do anything wrong. Your brother apparently likes his girlfriend, had serious intentions and is very unhappy that he have to choose between two sides. Very disappointed most likely too.
"...they’re getting serious and want to start a family soon and I won’t have a place here as they’re growing their family. Talked about importance of nuclear family and all that nonsense." What a load of pretentious BS. What is that supposed to be "the importance of nuclear family"? How is the nuclear family unit under any scrutiny if you're living there as well?
And then this: "She suggested it might be good for my “growth” to go to a different city and get exposed to new experiences and people". You are right, she is manipulative. And right after she did not get her way, she went to your brother and laid it on him. NTA.