'AITA for reminding my parents their favorite daughter is the criminal and not me?'
"AITA for reminding my parents their favorite daughter is the criminal and not me?"
Little_Isopod_9661
I (16f) have an older sister Kacy (18f). She was always the golden child who could do nothing wrong. While I could never do anything right. Kacy also hated me. Not sure why. But she used to make up stuff to get me into trouble and our parents always believed her.
Nobody else did which I think made it worse between us. She wanted everyone to see her the way our parents did. But she was always pretty mean to others and spoiled and entitled. While most of the family saw how my parents treated me vs Kacy and they saw how my parents let Kacy treat me.
Some examples for those who wonder: locking me in the car and refusing to let me out, throwing food I was eating on the floor, taking stuff out of my hand and saying it was hers now which included money, locking me outside when it was raining, throwing my stuffy collection out my bedroom window in the rain when we had family over, refusing to let me sit down near her.
Some things Kacy accused me of wrongly are: Throwing shit in the neighbors yard (this was her and the neighbors even said so), throwing paint on our parents car (that was her and there was proof), stealing money from our parents, eating "her food" which our parents bought especially for her and nobody can touch, ruining her homework, peeing in her and my parents bedrooms. I got punished for this stuff.
Nothing I ever said or did would get my parents to believe me. My grandparents grew so concerned they tried to take custody of me through court but were denied custody and they were told a home with both my parents would always take priority over extended family. I didn't get to see them afterward because my parents were angry that my grandparents humiliated them.
Kacy was arrested at school a few weeks before graduation. It was coming for over a year because everyone started to see her for who she was. But some of the things she did include stealing money from a teacher, property damage to the school, property damage to a teachers car and harassment of one of the teachers.
Charges were pressed and she's going to be in court over this. My parents are so mad that people are blaming their precious little girl. Kacy got arrested again in July because she retaliated against two of the teachers involved.
My parents are hiring good lawyers and all that. But they're also on my back about not supporting Kacy and she's still accusing me of stuff and they still believe her. On Saturday they started yelling at me for being "so bad" and "such a headache" for them.
I reminded them that Kacy, their favorite daughter, is the criminal and not me. My parents yelled so loud that a neighbor heard them. They told me I should not be gloating when my sister is going through hell. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Own_Lack_4526
NTA. I am so sorry you are dealing with this, and have been dealing with this, for so long. Could this possibly be the opportunity you need to get out? Are your grandparents still willing to take you in?
Could you frame it to your parents that it's obvious that Kacy needs all of their attention and help right now, and you'd be willing to step back and move in temporarily (don't say permanently) with your grandparents to allow them to focus all their energy on dear Kacy?
Clearly you are causing them more stress right now (wink wink) and you don't want to take anything away from your sister at a time when she so desperately needs your parents' full efforts. It might work.
Little_Isopod_9661 (OP)
I don't think so because then they take away Kacy's chance to bully me. And their own. I think they like doing it after all these years and all the crazy stuff they have punished me for that I didn't do.
Current_Ad4658
Absolutely NTA and you honestly never could be. Sadly I think your parents are so deluded by the pedestal that they have put your sister on that they probably won’t even realize what they’ve really done until 1) your sister is put in jail or 2) you don’t talk to them anymore.
They created a monster than now everyone else has to deal with including you. As soon as you possibly can, leave them like a fart in the wind and go no contact, just based off of this post alone they don’t deserve to have you as a daughter because they are terrible parents. I hope you are able to find the support and love you deserve 🫶
Little_Isopod_9661 (OP)
Thanks. I got some support going back to school after summer. I was actually called in and talked to by our school therapist who reassured me I would not be blamed for the things Kacy did.
Jainer99
NTA. Honestly if you are able to move out (not sure whether you can move to your grandparents?) then I'd do so. Your parents have utterly failed your sister and honestly the three of them deserve every single thing coming to them.
hannahkelli
NTA. Their favorite daughter is a criminal BECAUSE of how they raised her and all they're doing is continuing to enable her. You had every right to call that out. Your sister's circumstances are the consequences of her own continued bad behavior and you are in no way obligated to pretend otherwise. I very much hope you can get out of this situation as soon as possible.
snartofdarkness
NTA. I would look into moving in with your grandparents anyway. Your parents may have to go through the courts to force you to move back and (1) they’re already dealing with sister’s court stuff and having to pay for lawyers, so would have less time/money to devote to you and (2) since you’re 16 and the courts move slowly, you may be at or close to 18 by the time they can do anything.
Since your sister now has a record, you may be able to use it to claim an unsafe living environment as well. Good luck.