'AITA for reporting my boyfriend’s mom for taking and wearing my graduation dress?'
"AITA for reporting my boyfriend’s mom for taking and wearing my graduation dress?"
I (33F) just finished my degree after five years of part-time school while working full-time. My boyfriend (34M), Ben, and I have been together three years. His mom, Terry, can be a lot, but we’ve mostly gotten along.
A couple months ago, Terry offered to take me dress shopping for my graduation. I wasn’t planning a big party or anything, but I wanted something nice to wear for the ceremony and a small dinner afterward. We found a dark green wrap dress at a boutique. It was $280, which was more than I’d normally spend, but she offered to cover half of it as a graduation gift.
Since I was in a tiny apartment at the time with basically no closet space, she offered to store the dress for me in her guest room so it wouldn’t get wrinkled or damaged. I appreciated it and didn’t think twice about it.
Two days before graduation, I went over to pick it up. That’s when she told me she had lent it to a friend’s daughter for a banquet and said it was being cleaned. I was completely thrown. I hadn’t even worn it yet. She just said she didn’t think I’d mind and figured I had something else to wear. I didn’t. I had bought that dress specifically for this day.
I ended up running out the night before graduation and grabbing something that fit okay, but it wasn’t the same. The day was still nice, but I was pretty upset. Afterward, I kept asking her when I’d be getting the dress back. She was vague and avoided the question. She wouldn’t tell me the name of the cleaner or give a straight answer. She made it sound like I was overreacting.
About a week later, I was sitting with Ben while he was scrolling through Instagram. One of Terry’s friends had posted photos from her birthday dinner. I looked over and saw a group photo. Right in the middle was Terry, clearly wearing my graduation dress.
I said, “Is that my dress?” and Ben just froze. It was obviously the same one. She never lent it to anyone. She wore it herself. When I confronted her, she admitted it and said she only wore it for a couple hours and planned to return it. I said I didn’t want it anymore and asked her to reimburse me. She said she already paid her half and called me immature.
So I filed a small claims case. She took something that belonged to me, wore it, lied about it, and won’t pay me back. Now her family (her sister and some of the cousins in close with) is saying I’m blowing things out of proportion and embarrassing her. Ben is asking me to drop it to keep the peace. But it wasn’t just a dress to me. It marked something important. I picked it out for a once in a lifetime moment, and she made it about herself. AITA?
Later, OP edited the post to include:
I’m seeing a lot of people say things about my boyfriend, but in his defence I think he just thought I was maybe going a step too far with filing a claim, not being upset with his mom. He’s been support the last bit or so since I filled.
Ben called his mom half hour ago and told her how many people are saying her actions were wrong and I’m not being over dramatic, and she’s dead set that she isn’t in the wrong. He said he’s done with her BS.
He told her to give the dress back and his mom says she doesn’t want to “deal with me now." And she paid half only when she thought I was “a nice girl” but not anymore, so I can pay the rest first. It’s honestly insane.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
BedroomEducational94 said:
NTA - Tell the family that Terry offered to pay half as your grad gift. YOU did not offer to pay for half of a dress you were not going to get to wear.
MistressJacklynHyde said:
NTA. She FAFO. It wasn't hers, and she never gave it back. You deserve compensation. Boyfriend's mom is a massive AH though, and a liar. Never trust her again.
Rachie301192 said:
NTA, she obviously wanted the dress herself but didnt want to pay the full price so conned you into paying half, I'd also be wary of Ben as you say he froze when you asked about the dress, this sounds like he knew his mum had worn it and was lying to you and was going along with his mothers lies, him asking you to "keep the peace" just shows if anything serious happened he'd chose his mum instantly over you.
Adelucas said:
NTA. She stole your property. I'd love to watch that episode of Judge Judy. She not only took 140 dollars off you under false pretences, but you never got the graduation gift either.
Full_Pace7666 said:
Just wondering, whose name is on the receipt? That might affect your case. Either way NTA but if reddit has taught me anything, NEVER let anyone store your clothes, because crap like this will always happen.
SunshineShoulders87 said:
NTA, but your bf’s reaction makes me think he knew and was keeping his mom’s theft a secret. The fact that he wants you to keep quiet about being stolen from by his mom is quite revealing and is a warning for your future together.