'AITA for reporting a girl for hit and run after she hit my car and fled?'
"AITA for reporting a girl for hit and run after she hit my car and fled?"
I’m 27M and park on the street outside my building. A few days ago I checked my dashcam because I thought I saw someone near my car earlier.
The footage shows a 20-year-old girl who lives across the street trying to parallel park and hitting my rear fender hard enough that my car moved slightly. When I looked at the car the finish on the paint was dulled in a small patch. You can notice it if you pay close attention. She got out looked at both cars with her hands in her hair, paused for a while and then drove off without leaving a note or anything.
That already irritated me because I’m tired of people pulling that. My buddy’s parked car got hit by some woman and she was never found because his dashcam was off. He had to pay everything. I’m honestly sick of how often people like her try to avoid consequences with “I panicked” or “I didn’t think it mattered.”
I went to talk to her and showed her the dashcam clip. She acted like it wasn’t a big deal and kept insisting it was barely anything and “honestly I didn’t think I had to leave a note for something with no damage.” She even tried saying the mark looked old and maybe it wasn’t from her.
That annoyed me because the dashcam clearly shows her car hitting mine. I told her I wanted a new fender because I don’t trust just painting it. (I didn’t tell her this but I know there was previous internal damage years ago and the shop had to fix the mounts in a weird way. So I honestly don’t know if a hit like this caused more hidden damage.)
She refused and said she’d only pay for paint or polishing. She kept arguing. She kept minimizing it. She even said she wasn’t giving me her parents’ number because “it’s my problem not theirs and we don’t talk much any more.” Thing is I actually know her parents from local country fairs and community events.
I don’t have their number or anything but they always seemed like decent people. If she had let me talk to them I feel like this would have been simpler. But she shut that down totally. After that I messaged my buddy who’s a cop. I showed him the dashcam and explained what happened including how she refused to take responsibility.
He said it was legally a hit and run because she left without giving information and we can pursue it if I wanted. He helped me file the report since he knew the exact language to use. He also said tons of people get away with stuff like this when they shouldn’t.
I also filed with insurance. The police report helps the claim according to my buddy so it should be smooth.
Well now she’s apparently in real legal trouble for leaving the scene of an accident and could have issues with her license and retaining insurance.
She called and texted me and called me a dick and that I was "ruining her life" over nothing and needs to drive for work and college. Some neighbors are acting like I committed some moral crime by not “handling it privately.” They say I escalated a tiny situation into something that could mess up a young person’s life. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
TheLastPorkSword wrote:
ESH. The neighbour absolutely committed a hit and run, and that's not cool. That being said, attempting to involve her parents, as if to teach her a lesson or go over her head is both childish and AHish.
The cream on top, though? Actually trying to get a whole new fender out of her for what you even admitted was a barely noticeable scuff to the paint, and getting your cop buddy to bend the rules and focus on this woman, rather than just letting insurance handle it. Grade A Premium AH.
hel-be-praised wrote:
"I told her I wanted a new fender because I don’t trust just painting it. (I didn’t tell her this but I know there was previous internal damage years ago and the shop had to fix the mounts in a weird way. So I honestly don’t know if a hit like this caused more hidden damage.)"
Yeah this is sleazy as hell. You’re trying to get her to replace a part of your car that really only needs painting because you know it was previously damaged. Getting your cop buddy to come in and help you make the whole thing worse.
She shouldn’t have hit your car and fled. That’s a FAFO situation. But there are so many other ways you could have gone about handling this (like idk just calling your insurance and making a report) that wouldn’t have been so overtly sleazy and misogynistic (if your friends dash wasn’t on how does he know a woman hit his car???) ESH.
IrishDaveinCanada wrote:
She's an AH for not leaving a note, but you're a far bigger AH for the way you're handling it. You should of accepted the offer for a paint or polish, abs by the sound of things, a cut and polish is all it needs. But you're trying to be a sneaky AH and get your already damaged bumper replaced. What a crap move.
livingoff2008 wrote:
Yeah man YTA. Like it sucks she drove off, sure, but you pulled some strings with your cop friend to get someone f-ed over for life over some scratched paint that, by your own admission, you can barely notice. If you want to make this right, then you should tell the cops you don’t want to pursue it any further and want it handled privately and hope it gets dropped by the prosecutor or the cops stop following up.
Larry_l3ird wrote:
YTA. You took it way too far. You tried to extort her for a new fender to remedy previous issues instead of just accepting her offer to have a standard cosmetic fix for a bump that occurred at less than 5mph. Then you involved the cops just to get super petty because she wasn’t agreeing to be extorted.
mama9873 wrote:
A full fender replacement for damage that didn’t even dent, just scuffed the paint? Come on. She was obviously wrong, but you’re not a whole lot better with this response.
Alternative_hour9154 wrote:
You admitted that there was previous fender damage. It seems like you are trying to pull one over on her when she was reasonable in offering to pay for paint or polish. You are definitely TA in this situation. An AH who is an opportunist and decided to use someone’s bad day to their advantage.