'AITA for reporting my ex’s dog after it keeps jumping on me while I’m recovering from surgery?'

"AITA for reporting my ex’s dog after it keeps jumping on me while I’m recovering from cancer surgery?"

I (40F) live in an apartment building and dated a neighbor (39M). During our relationship, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and went through multiple surgeries, including a breast implant exchange about four weeks ago.

One ongoing issue in our relationship was boundaries with his dog. He jumped on me constantly, and at night would walk or dig at my chest if I wasn’t cuddling him. My ex would yell at me and dismissed my concerns, even after my mastectomy.

This friction contributed to our breakup. Shortly after, I learned he had cheated. Since the breakup, whenever I see the dog in common areas (hallways, elevators, courtyard), he runs toward me and jumps on me. He’ll even back up to jump higher (I’m 5’5” and he can reach my rib cage).

I’m still recovering from cancer surgery, I’m unsteady, and any impact to my chest is painful and potentially dangerous. I told my ex this isn’t safe and asked him to keep the dog fully under control around me. Despite that, it’s happened repeatedly. Sometimes his affair partner (22F, doesn’t live in the building) is walking the dog and does try to control him but struggles.

Other times, my ex has had the dog off leash, and allows the dog to jump on me to start conversations. After asking directly and seeing no change, I started reporting the unsafe incidents to building management. The building has clear leash rules, and management has told him to control the dog, but it continues.

This is upsetting because I do love the dog, but it’s unsafe, and repeated interactions with my ex and his affair partner reopen the wound. My friends think I’m TA for reporting him “over a dog that just loves you.” And I admittedly, would carry the dog everywhere and basically treated him like a lapdog. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Coollogin wrote:

NTA.

"My friends think I’m TA for reporting him “over a dog that just loves you.”

Why don't your friends care that your ex's behavior could result in injury to you?

OP responded:

It was a bad breakup. I caught him in the elevator when I was four weeks post op with his affair partner. This was five days after he was planning a month long vacation for us for when I’m “normal.” I sent him a nasty text and he ghosted me, even in person. I took the breakup hard because he made me feel like I wasn’t normal and they say it feels like payback.

2spooky4me5ever wrote:

NTA, you're concerned for everyone's safety. That includes the dog. When you were describing how it acted pre-surgery I did wonder if the dog could smell your cancer. The digging behavior you described is something folks have observed in dogs before when they have cancer, usually before they're medically diagnosed.

That being said, the behavior is incredibly dangerous for any human or other animal involved. It sounds like the dog is high strung and not trained and that could easily lead to a dog attack. I hope it never does but the fact that it will jump at you post relationship is an indicator that it could be worse. I hope you stay safe OP.

Zero_Patience1771 wrote:

NTA I am a professional dog trainer and been around dogs my entire life in veterinary medicine, shelter work and owning my own training centre. This situation is awful for you and can create complicated health risks. He needs to be able to control the dog.

Owning a dog is not a right, it is a privilege and what he is doing is causing risk to you. I am sure the dog does love you but the behavior is not okay. NTA Report every time and I would be very clear about possible legal consequences if the dog does injure you.

weirdaldankb*tch wrote:

You don't even need to be recovering from cancer surgery to be in right here, but the fact that you are and he knows that is wild. I'm really sick of people adopting these huge dogs that they cannot reasonably control with or without a leash, it's an accident waiting to happen and when it does it will be the owner's fault but the dog's detriment. NTA.

IAmIrene wrote:

NTA. Your ex is a TA who is actually putting his dog in bad, possibly dangerous situations. He probably has zero comprehension that he is legally liable for any and all damage his dog does to people/property.

Glad you reported him, hopefully he'll leash his dog now.

Gertrude_D wrote:

NTA. All he has to do is keep the dog on leash through your recovery. He's still an A H for not leashing him and ignoring the rules, but the very, very least he could do is accommodate you because this is a very specific situation (doggo loves you). You brought the problem to his attention and he ignored you. Do not feel bad, he is the unreasonable one.

jimfish98 wrote:

NTA- you have a valid reason for the request, it causes harm to you. You tried nicely, you tried with management. I feel no sorrow for your ex and anything that comes of it is the consequences of his failure to control his pet. You should tell him if the dog causes damage you are going to sue over it, send it in text or something so you have a record of it.

I would honestly go as far as recommending that you reach out to management, note that it continues to happen and they need to resolve it within their building rules as if anything causes injury, you will name them in a claim for damages for not enforcing rules when advised of the violations the first time and any additional times after that.