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'AITA for coming up with a revenge plot on my husband for cheating on me for 7 months?'

'AITA for coming up with a revenge plot on my husband for cheating on me for 7 months?'


Is it wrong to plot revenge on my husband who cheated on me?

well_shii writes

I, 30 (F), recently found out my husband, 29 (M), was having an affair for 7 months. I work nights full-time and care for our two daughters full-time, so I will admit I’ve neglected our bedroom life a bit. I did try to make things better and ask for help with our children so that I could have more time and energy, but I was always shut down and told I was the problem.

And this whole time he’s had another woman. This all came to light just over a week ago. Our marriage has been getting better the last two months, but all of a sudden, he started having massive panic attacks, which I later found out was him feeling guilty and not knowing if he should tell me or end his affair and continue fixing our marriage.

In the middle of my overnight shift last Saturday, he came out and told me that he had been having an affair, but they hadn’t been physical, just texting and talking and making plans to meet up but he couldn’t follow through.

He said it only went on for two weeks. I was devastated and hurt. Here was this man I’ve been with for 7 years, who has treated me admittedly like garbage the last two years, but that I loved dearly and wanted to work things out with, and he betrayed my trust so easily. I decided the next day to go through the phone records and see exactly how long this was going on because my gut told me I wasn’t getting the entire truth.

I found her number from a mutual coworker they shared and looked it up in the records. Seven months he had been doing this. I asked to see texts, and he claims they are gone and he wasn’t able to retrieve them. He swears they were never physical, but he’s not the type to keep pursuing someone that long without getting anything.

I remember asking him about this girl because he always talked about how gorgeous she was but that she was annoying and kept flirting with him; he swore nothing was going on. He wants to save our marriage, and at first, I was thinking about it, but he’s not doing anything to help me overcome this.

He hasn’t helped find a marriage counselor, and I’m convinced he’s lying to my face about sleeping with her. So, I’ve decided to make the next 3 months until our lease is up the most amazing 3 months of his life. We are going to do everything he wants, I’m going to be the best wife, and then I’m going to leave. Am I the a%&*ole for this?

Here are the top comments from the post:

Xylia_Clayton says:

NTA. However, don't waste your energy on three months of playing the doting spouse. You have a chance to redirect all that effort into plotting a strategic exit, one that keeps your dignity intact and sets you up for the next chapter of your life.

Secure your finances, gather all your important documents, and consult a good divorce attorney. Then, when everything is in place, serve him the papers with the satisfaction that you're acting with class and foresight, not out of spite.

Leave the scumbag with his selfish ways, and find peace in the fact that the best revenge is living well and thriving without him. Good luck!

narayana says:

This is a good revenge plot, but please don’t do thisW hat if he suddenly dumps you during those 3 months?? Your dignity would be in the gutters.

Just calmly plan your exit strategy, and keep him at arm’s length. If he’s really trying to fix your marriage, let him come to you. If you want, let him think that he’s winning you over, then bam, divorce papers!

TacticalFailure1 says:

NTA (Not the A%^&ole) but realistically I'd get to safety first, and get revenge by moving on.

Choice-Intention-926 says:

Talk to your landlord and remove your name off the lease. Put rose petals from the front door to your bedroom closet when he opens the closet it’s empty except for divorce papers. That’s how you exit dramatically.

What do you think should OP go through with her revenge plot?

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