"AITA if I revoke a wedding guest's invitation?"
So I am a little ticked off and I need some guidance-me (35f) and my fiancé (35F) are getting married in a few months. We are very excited and happy to get all of our friends together and have fun. This week, one of my fiancés friends got married. We only found out about it because my fiancé talked to one of our mutual friends and they let it slip they would be busy this weekend for this couple's wedding.
Clearly my fiancé did not get an invite. Which according to my fiancé, was fine because it was an intimate wedding and they weren’t friends like that-she texted the couple congratulating them and they said they didn’t include her bc of monetary reasons.
Okay cool no problem. EXCEPT I sent the wedding invites to ours earlier this week and the friends that got married were included in our list. Now I am embarrassed and severely ticked off. I don’t handle this stuff well-by stuff I mean not being included when EVERY OTHER MEMBER OF THE FRIEND GROUP WAS INCLUDED.
It would have been better if her friends texted her and let her know about it before we found out from other friends. But that didn’t happen. Again, this is my fiancés friend group so I don’t have much of a say. And I totally get we aren’t the closest but i just hate they left my fiancé out.
And TODAY they RSVP'd yes to our wedding…so yea I am not happy and want to uninvite them but my fiancé said it isn’t worth it. I feel they drew the line in the sand regarding the status of our friendship and we just aren’t friends with them.
Which is fine! But I don’t think they should be included in our day. Fiancé disagrees. Would I be the a-hole if I were to push to revoke their invites? Should I just let this go?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
shyfidelity said:
You admit they're not even your friends. Let your fiancée invite them to the wedding. You'd just look hilariously petty to disinvite them.
BeholdTheseComics said:
If you think you aren't really friends with someone unless they invite you to their wedding then you have an odd view of friendships. I think YTA.
Equivalent_Lemon_319 said:
Calm down, bridezilla.
FinePossession1085 said:
Your fiancé disagrees. It is your fiancé's friend group. Be the bigger person. The person who is gracious has the respect of others. The petty person who is addicted to drama gets left behind b/c as people age, they usually don't want to deal with the nonsense.
Abject_Code5523 said:
YTA, your fiancé understands why HER friend didn't invite you both, yet you want to act childish and uninvite them even though clearly you had no issue before? That is very immature behavior.
HotspurJr said:
YTA. Let this go. Different people have different sized weddings, and different family obligations, which forces people to make different decisions about where to draw lines about who gets to be invited.
This is not a tit-for-tat situation. They didn't "draw a line in the sand," they made a different decision based on being in a different situation. The rule of thumb about weddings unless you're extremely close to someone, be happy when you're invited, and happy-for-them and understanding when you're not, because (as I would think you would know) figuring out guest lists at weddings can be a giant pain in the butt.)