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'AITA for no longer walking my friend home to her dorm after she rejected me?' + Update

'AITA for no longer walking my friend home to her dorm after she rejected me?' + Update

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"AITA for no longer walking my friend home to her dorm after she rejected me?"

PlanktonUpstairsi

I (21M) have been friends with Annie (21F) for 3 years now, since the start of college. We usually chill at one of our friend’s places every Saturday night with our friend group. After we’re done, I walk her to her dorm first before heading back to my dorm. This has been the default and I never really thought too much of it.

A month ago, I asked her out, but she just wanted to remain friends. It did not bother me too much, but I obviously wanted to cut back on our friendship a bit. We were still amicable and part of the same friend group and still joked around with each other.

However I’ve stopped walking her back to her dorm, and just walk back to my dorm. The first couple of weeks, she did walk back on her own to her dorm. However, last week, she asked if I could walk her back, because she was extremely scared walking alone at midnight especially when she was drunk.

I told her to just get an Uber or ask someone else, because I was getting too tired to walk her home to her place, and then walk back to my place. The conversation was sort of awkward, and we left it at that. AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:

Faulty_english

Bro… is she still your friend ? It doesn’t sound like it.

After-Smile7217

To him, she was never a friend... she was a girl he was trying to sleep with while pretending to be a friend, but the moment she said no, he showed that he never actually cared for her as a friend.

InterestingPen0

This is why it’s so hard to make guy friends for women. Most the time they will spend months/ years pretending to be your friend but actually have other intentions. And the moment you make it clear that you’re just friends then they will throw the entire “friendship” out the window like it was nothing. Lol.

Unamused_Selkie

I lost a guy friendship of 6 YEARS when I got married. He tried to convince me my now husband was evil (lol) then ghosted me once I got married. It’s crazy how much some of these dudes are playing the LONG game.

rheasilva

YTA. You were interested in ensuring her safety only while it was possible that she would date you. The second she said she just wanted to be friends you suddenly couldn't care less. Classic "nice" guy behaviour - act like you're a decent person/good friend, but drop the act when your advances get rejected.

littlemissbecky

So your “friend” only deserves to be safe if there’s a possibility you get to have her.

You should be with yourself instead.

Nargih

YTA. She was smart to refuse going out with you though.

Less than 25 hours later, the OP returned with an update.

"Update: AITAH for no longer walking my friend home to her dorm after she rejected me?"

PlanktonUpstairsi

Ok, I was the AH. I apologized to my friend this morning, and explained to her my feelings because I guess I haven’t been too upfront about it after she rejected me. I told her I wanted to cut down on our one on one time and that’s why I didn’t walk her home last week, but that was obviously the wrong way to go about it.

I was extremely drunk that night and I did not think too clearly about it when she asked me to walk her home. I told her from next time on, she could ask me to walk her home and I would.

But I would prefer if she had someone else walk her home, and to consider me as sort of the last resort. She did tell me I had nothing to apologize for and that she understood and it was her fault, and she shouldn’t have just sprung it onto me at the last minute.

I expected the whole conversation to be super awkward, but it was not, and she seemed very happy and sort of emotional about it? We joked around after that. We’re not the type to be serious with each other, we joke around each other a lot. So I’m super happy things are at least not awkward between us anymore.

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's update:

MarsV89

You are still an ahole dude. You were never her friend, you are a “nice guy” that showed his true colours the moment you saw you weren’t getting laid. And now you double down on your nice guy pose by trying to excuse your bad behaviour, and the girl ends up blaming herself to make you feel better about your shitty actions. Pls reflect, everyone was telling you were the ahole.

NoPomegranate111

You were never her friend and it was not her fault. She is just a better person than you.

EconomistSea9498

I think you need to stop talking to her immediately. You are clearly not her friend, you clearly do not like her, and you clearly only found value in her when you thought there was a chance you could have her.

Blc578

It’s not op distancing themselves from this girl that makes him an ahole, it the fact that she thought of you as a safe person that would protect her and you basically told her to get lost.

She was drunk, it was past midnight, she was SCARED of walking home alone. She asked you, her supposed friend of 3 YEARS to help her and you couldn’t be bothered because she didn’t want to sleeping with you.

If she had said come walk me home and I’ll blow you, you would have probably carried her home. It’s the lack of respect or caring for your friend in need that makes you a major ahole, op, because you clearly only saw her as some in you wanted and not as a friend.

Skinlessdragon

Good lord I hope she tells other women in her circle about this BS. You are so out of touch with reality to think her laughter and awkwardness was a sign of good faith. You never was her friend. And she will never respect you as a man again.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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