Pregnant bridesmaid’s health scare leaves bride furious over wedding photos. AITA?
"I ruined my friend's wedding because I was pregnant."
This is an old story that I was reminded of recently after running into this ex-friend unexpectedly. She is still really mad at me... and honestly I had not realized why until this unexpected meeting.
Let's rewind this back nine years. I, 22, Female (at the time) was heavily pregnant with twins. My friend, lets call her Vicky, asked me to be a brides maid for her wedding. I'm not dumb.
I realized the moment she asked it was because I am an artist, and she wanted me to help make some of the decorations for her wedding and help design things for the ceremony. I was more then happy to help out at the time.
Problems started popping up quickly, beginning with the bridesmaid dress. She wanted everyone to have a heavily embroidered, tight fitting around the waist.... knee high dress. A dressed we had to pay for ourselves.
I had asked if i could adjust it, considering by the time the wedding comes my bits would have been exposed considering how short the dress was and how big my belly was. She had been livid at my suggestion.
Said I was trying to 'stand out' with the alterations and I was not allowed to change anything about it. I backed down. Instead I went to the fabric store with the dress in hand, found some matching teal fabric and made myself some stretchy shorts for underneath. Good enough to blend in, but not enough for it to seem like I changed anything.
The week before her wedding the unexpected happened. At the time, I had undiagnosed health issues and had a severe seizure because of them being untreated. This put me into early labour, which thankfully, they were able to stop. My doctor put me on bed rest so babies could cook longer without further risk.
I called Vicky and told her I needed to drop out. To Vicky, this was unacceptable. She lost it on me. Screaming about how I was going to ruin her wedding for not being there. She broke down crying about how stressed out she was. How she just wanted her wedding to go prefect. I felt awful and genuinely thought I was ruining her big day. Hello, My name is Female. 22, and I am a people pleaser.
I know I shouldn't have, but I caved. I showed up to her wedding. An event I couldn't sit down at. Forced myself into a small dress. Help set up and I gritted my teeth through the pain and pregnancy of it all. For years, I had thought all of this was the reason Vicky mad at me.
Turn out it was, in fact, what happened next. Pictures for her wedding were in another location, one we had to drive a good 40 minuets too. On the way there my body gave up and I went into full labour. At the time I thought it was just braxton hicks. That I could grin and bear it to get through pictures.
I tried. I made it through maybe two before the pain became too much to ignore. I, of course, excused myself. I went to Vicky quietly and explained my pain was just really bad and I couldn't be on my feet anymore. I did not want her to worry so I gave her a big hug, told her to enjoy her beautiful day and that I would see her tomorrow.
I was hospitalized that night. Turns out... my placenta abrupted and I almost died. Thankfully doctors are amazing and me and my twins were fine after a few transfusions. I invited Vicky to visit in the hospital but she never did and for years I thought she had just been angry about the wedding and events prior.
Now I know. She stopped talking to me because me leaving made her wedding photos uneven.
That friends... is how I ruined a wedding being pregnant.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
Can I ask, is she divorced now? Because she seems like an awful person to be this upset at her heavily pregnant friend for having a medical emergency.
If she ever does bring it up again maybe remind her that dying at her wedding would have 100% taken the spotlight that day. But I guess they could have propped your corpse up like Weekend at Bernie’s to even the photos out…would she have preferred that?
With a baby doll in each hand since OP was pregnant with twins. Weekend at Bernie’s is one of my favs but jokes aside, OP is lucky she and her twins didn’t die.
Hahaha ? Oh this rings too many bells. GOOD LORD! THESE UNEVEN WEDDING PICTURES ARE GOING TO TERRIBLE!! HOW DARE YOU!!! While the Uncle was having a heart attack and you are dragged away to do CPR while waiting for the ambulance to turn up. I'm glad you were okay in the end and the kids are doing well. You were in a very dangerous position and I'm glad this person is no longer a friend ?
That’s not how you ruined a wedding… It’s how you saw the bride’s true colours. What type of heinous monster is this person?! The answer is in the question. She’s deplorable. I hope that you have cut all ties with her forevermore. Girl, you went into labour, could have died, and she’s worried her photos look uneven?!
I really hope that her photos turned out awful. I hope the photographer screwed the pooch and lost the memory card and she has no photos. She lacks empathy and just common human decency. I hope her divorce is as bitter and acrimonious as humanly possible. I mean, if I was the husband, I wouldn’t have married her in the first place. But I hope he one day sees sense and leaves.
Appropriate_Might256 (OP)
Yeah, I am thankful that I don't talk to her anymore. Looking back at it all, I realize now that I had lots of energy stealing people around me. I have learned to no longer accept being treated this way and have grown since. I think she is still with her husband.... but I remember not liking him because I thought he was a controlling AH. I guess like begets like.
Your twins rescued you from a really terrible person.