My husband and I (30m, 30f) recently invited eight friends for lunch and were asked if we could also include a new couple, Doug and Sasha (both 30s). We have never met them, but everyone who was invited has, so we said sure. At one point Sasha needed to use the restroom, and I told her to use the master since the other bathroom was occupied.
I was helping my husband finish with food when Sasha came out of the master bawling and holding something in her hand. At first I thought she hurt herself, but she said something to Doug that caused him to drop to his knees, cry, and begin kissing her stomach. All of our friends begin screaming, jumping, and crying.
It was insane. Finally, Sasha tells my husband and I that she is pregnant. Of course, we congratulate both she and Doug and gave them a bag for the test (their request). I will admit I did find it odd that she brought a pregnancy test and took it at a complete stranger's house, but I did not say that.
Once everyone sat down to eat Sasha said: OP, I hope you don't mind that I used one of your pregnancy tests. I just saw them and had to. I responded (confused) I don't have pregnancy tests. Sasha says yes, in your drawer. I asked Sasha if she meant the blue box in the back of my lower left drawer that was closed.
She seemed to realize I was pointing out that she basically snooped and sheepishly said the box said pregnancy for pregnancy test. I said Sasha, the brand is Pregmate and those are ovulation tests. I do not own pregnancy tests. Did you take an ovulation test?
Doug freaked the absolute F out at me saying his wife was not an idiot and can read a box. He insisted Sasha get the test out and show me that I'm wrong. Sasha refused saying she didn't need to prove anything to a complete stranger and insisted they leave immediately. One of the couples thought Doug and Sasha acted ridiculous.
The other three couples thought I should have pulled Sasha aside to discuss my concerns and said I was an asshole for saying something in front everyone. Honestly, the whole situation caught me off guard and everything happened so quickly. The whole thing was bizarre and confusing. I just didn't have time to put the pieces together mentally before asking about the ovulation tests.
Also, I found out later through one of our friends that Sasha did take an ovulation test, and she is not pregnant.
VxGB111 said:
NTA. I mean who TF goes through another person's drawers and takes any kind of test. It's her comeuppance to have taken the wrong test and embarrassed herself. Serves her right.
Mirianda666 said:
NTA. WTF snoops around a bathroom and decides to take a pregnancy test with someone else's supplies in the first place??? Honestly I think that obnoxious snoop got precisely what she deserved when you told her what she'd ACTUALLY done. Sounds like Doug and Sasha don't belong on anyone's guest list.
neverthelessidissent said:
NTA. What kind of person snoops through someone else's bathroom to take a pregnancy test at a dinner party hosted by strangers? They got the attention that they wanted.
livillove said:
NTA - it's weird to immediately announce a pregnancy like that after just an at home test. People wait three months for a reason. Nothing about this situation isn't weird
And [deleted] said:
NTA. Doug and Sasha are the type that would announce a pregnancy at someone else’s rehearsal dinner. Perhaps you should have pulled Sasha aside, but honestly nobody can blame you for boggling as the asininity of it all.
First, let me thank anyone who took time to read, comment, or give an award. I am very, very, very grateful for the feedback. Based on the responses, today I called up one of my friends who was present (and took Doug and Sasha's side) and basically told her I was owed and explanation for wtf happened. Here is what I found out:
- Apparently my friends have know D&S for much longer than I realized. This is strange because they have never talked about D&S before this.
- Doug constantly brings up wanting to have a baby every time they see him.
- One night Sasha confided in the women that Doug divorced his first wife because she was "old and infertile" - she was the same age as Doug. Doug married Sasha because she was "young and fertil" - Sasha heard him tell this to some friends. At that point D&S had been trying to conceive for over a year, and Sasha was concerned that Doug was going to leave her.
They (the women in my friend group) tried to convince Sasha that this is not a healthy relationship, but she insisted she was happy and just needed to get pregnant. They "gave her the courage to seek medical assistance" which she had previously been to scared to do.
- Sasha end up getting prescribed fertility meds at her appointment and was scared to test with Doug, so they told her they would come to her house to be with her when she tested and be a support system for her.
- The day D&S were at my house was after Sasha's first round of meds and she was in the window to test. She had not planned on testing but had a "lightbulb moment" when I told her to use my bathroom.
- Sasha only took the test and did not steal anything. When the test came back with two lines, Sasha was in shock and immediately wanted to share with her husband and support system.
- Doug was mortified by the ordeal and D&S have been fighting a lot.
- Sasha has been badmouthing me to anyone who will listen. She believes I ruined her marriage and embarrassed her and Doug because my husband and I were threatened by D&S and the friendships they were building. Sasha told my girl friends they shouldn't spend time with me anymore because who can be friends with someone who treats a guest in their own home that way.
- My friends felt they had to take Sasha's side in the moment because they knew how important the pregnancy was to her marriage.
- I am back on good terms with my friends.
Also, yes my husband and I have been privately trying to get pregnant. I am pissed that now my friends are aware. Thank you to my fellow TTCers, past and present, who mentioned this invasion of privacy or gave well wishes. You all touched my heart.