'AITA for 'ruining' a friend's wedding by getting revenge on a bridesmaid who was bullying me?'

"AITA for ruining a brides wedding after being mistreated by her bridesmaid?"

Here is the story:

I (24F) recently moved to a new state and was eager to make some new friends. I matched with a girl (26F) on a BFF app—let’s call her B—and we hit it off right away. We had a ton of shared interests, and she invited me to go line dancing with her. Back where I’m from, line dancing was pretty popular, but I’d never had the time to learn. I thought this could be a fun opportunity, so I eagerly agreed.

The first night we went out, B was already really good. She helped me navigate the steps and encouraged me while I stumbled over my feet. It was a blast, and I got to meet a bunch of other girls who also attended the lessons. Everyone seemed supportive and welcoming, and for the first time in a while, I felt like I’d found a place where I belonged. Or so I thought.

The first red flag popped up when B invited me out for a Saturday night dance. This wasn’t a lesson night—just a chance to hang out and dance for fun. The second I walked through the bar doors she looked over my outfit and asked: “You’re wearing that?”

I looked down at my body, I was wearing cowgirl boots, Jean shorts, and a black cropped T-shirt. I told her yes and she gave me a nasty look before walking off. I felt horrible. I used to be about 100 pounds heavier and although going to the gym and dieting got me to where I was, I had never fully shaken that feeling of being the insecure chubby girl I once was.

I remember sitting at one of the bar stools feeling insecure and contemplating if I should go home. That is until an attractive tall man came up to me and asked if I wanted to dance with him.

I chuckled, feeling my face get hot because I didn’t know how to swing dance. He said it was fine and he would teach me. I agreed and followed him on the dance floor. As we danced, he was patient and kind, guiding me through the steps. After the song ended, he asked for my number and said he’d like to dance again soon.

I was over the moon. It was the first time a guy had shown interest in me like that, and I felt proud of myself. But when I looked over at B, I noticed her scowling. She told me the only reason he asked for my number was because of how I dressed. I felt deflated all over again. The other girls didn’t really speak up, but one of them told me half heartedly to ignore B’s “jokes.”

Over the next couple of months I went to both line and swing lessons feeling confident in my ability to dance. I felt happy and looked forward to lessons. On the weekends I danced my heart out and got multiple guys numbers and drinks bought (usually just a soda, I’m not a drinker)

The bartenders knew me because I tipped well and would give me free sodas. They even knew my orders and when I would come to the bar to ask for water. I felt like there was a true community at this bar and I was thrilled to be apart of it. B’s judgements and “jokes” never stopped though.

She would constantly nit pick when I would mess up when dancing and would make fun of my outfits no matter what I wore. This even bled out to normal hang outs. We would go shopping and she would judge what I wanted to buy and would often say if I wanted male attention so bad I should download that popular dating app meant for hookups.

It was clear by then that B wasn’t my friend. But, for some reason, I still craved her approval. I didn’t want to be alone, and the idea of losing the group was terrifying. That is, until tall handsome guy—let’s call him C—came back into the picture.

C and I had exchanged a few texts here and there, but when he returned after spending the summer abroad, he sought me out right away. He told me how much he’d noticed my progress with dancing and how excited he was to see me still at it. I even got the chance to teach him a couple of new moves.

We spent the evening dancing and having fun, and it felt like everything else faded away. For the first time in a while, I wasn’t thinking about B’s judgments or trying to impress anyone. It was just me and C.

That night he asked me out on a proper date and we had so much fun. I’ll spare the details but it was magical. The next weekend we ran into each other again and hung out most of the night. We danced and flirted and I truly felt like I was on top of the word. I left to go to the bathroom and this is when B decided to strike. I came back and saw they were finishing a swing dance together.

And she was wearing his baseball cap. I’m not sure why this bothered me so much but it did. B didn’t stop there, she was flirting with him in front of me, trying to tear me down to make her look better. C wasn’t really having it though. He looked over at me and somehow just knew I was bothered, he said he was going home and asked if I wanted him to walk me to my car because it was late and dark out.

I agreed, and that was the moment I realized B wasn’t my friend. I’d been letting her manipulate me for months, and I was done. It wasn’t until a few weeks later, at a mutual friend’s wedding, that the full extent of how toxic the group had become hit me. I was ignored by nearly everyone, pushed to the back like an afterthought.

The bride and groom barely acknowledged me. I remember standing at the bar, nursing my first ever drink, a whiskey cocktail that tasted awful. But I didn’t care. I just wanted to wait for C to arrive.

Then B struck again. She came up to me, laughing at the way my dress looked and then casually asked, “Are you pregnant? You’ve gained a few pounds.” She told me I shouldn’t be drinking. Then she added how sad it was that I had to trap someone with a baby for them to want to be around me.

I’d had enough. I will admit my tummy was a little bloated from the all you can eat buffet, but I wasn’t pregnant—and I wasn’t going to take her crap anymore.

I looked at my mix drink and her light yellow dress and just threw it at her. I don’t even remember everything I said—something about how her petty behavior wasn’t cute and how I’d done nothing but be kind to her. I was furious. I stormed out of the wedding, called C, and he told me to come over to his place.

By the time I got to his house, my phone was blowing up with texts and missed calls from the girls in the group. They were calling me petty, ugly, and telling me I wasn’t welcome at the bar anymore. The bride even texted me, saying I ruined her wedding because B was a bridesmaid and I so happened to ruin her dress before photos. I felt like I’d completely lost everything.

It’s been two years since that night, and sometimes I wonder if I was wrong for how I reacted. Sure, I probably should’ve confronted B privately or just cut ties without making a scene. But in the heat of the moment, it felt like the only way to stand up for myself. So... AITA for ruining the bride’s wedding when she wasn’t even involved in the issue?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Broad-Policy8271 said:

Are you still with C?? And NTA.

Virtual-Swan-1253 said:

No opinion on the NTA question, as I question if you actually “ruined” anything at all. If the bride were to actually be willing to have a conversation about what happened, you might offer her some cutting remarks about how she looked and then immediately backtrack saying “I’m kidding, why can’t you have a sense of humor?” and immediately ask her up tell you how that feels.

Something tells me that “the group” has no sway over what dancing establishments you can and cannot enter and that C may wish to show off his girl in public.

UpstairsWait483 said:

What happened with C? This is why we dump mean girls as soon as we realize they are mean girls. Did you find a new bar? NTA.

Distinct_Parfait5810 said:

NTA. These petty little females are threatened by you. Keep your head up and you will definitely find true friends. You did not do anything wrong. B continued to poke the bear until she found out. FAFO is real Hope you and C are still going strong.