'AITA for ruining my sister's wedding and honeymoon?' 'My mom heard us talking.' UPDATED

"AITA for ruining my sister's wedding and honeymoon?"

So I (20F) have an older sister (30F), who I'll call Emily. Emily got married 2 months ago to her partner Danny (34M). My siblings and I grew up together and Emily was a huge influence, along with my other older sister Mary (27F).

They were both wild and so, from a young age, I knew a lot more than I was supposed to (about partying, dating etc. nothing weird or scandalous really). Mary got married 4 years ago and I'm really close to my brother-in-law.

He knows about her partying, drinking and pretty much everything else she did and he never had a problem with any of it. Well, I've met Danny only a handful of times since they live far away and so I assumed they talked about it all.

Come wedding rehearsal (the day before), we started sharing interesting stories from our childhood. Danny asked me how come I've never dated, drank or partied. I, not even thinking it might be a big deal, said that after hearing all the stories from my older sisters, never really wanted to or felt the need to.

Danny looked a bit confused but said nothing. Mary just glared at me. Later, Mary told me Danny knew nothing of Emily's "wild days." I apologized to Emily and she told me it wasn't a big deal. I hadn't thought about it in two months, but Emily and Danny visited us yesterday.

Danny was as nice as ever, while Emily was a bit standoffish. While Danny was out with our dad, Mary and Emily ganged up on me and told me Danny was mad at Emily for lying and that I ruined their wedding and honeymoon.

My mom heard us talking, came into the room and chewed out my sisters for blaming me for Emily's lies. After they went to my sister's place (they were gonna stay with her for a couple of days prior to this incident), I started feeling anxious and bad about what happened and the part I played in it.

My mom told my dad and brother what happened and they both said I did nothing wrong and my dad said he would make my sisters apologize, but I don't want them to get involved. So, AITA for ruining my sister's wedding and honeymoon?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

stollentrollin said:

Of course you are NTA. Trying to shift the anger onto you is what makes your bride sister one and the other one assisting her especially. She should have owned uo to her lies as it would most likely have come out in the future anyway (or were they planning to go NC with everyone who knew your sister in her "wild phase"?)

Her poor husband, learning about your bride-to-be's probably promiscuous past and being lied to definitely puts a damper on ones wedding celebration and honeymoon. The timing was unfortunate but better before than after the wedding.

Less_Ordinary_8516 said:

NTA. Your sister should have been upfront. If not you, from the other BIL, or someone else from their past. It's not something she can keep hidden, and since no one told you this was a deep dark secret, how were you to know to keep quiet? I'm glad your family was on your side. Your sisters are ah that owe you an apology.

slendermanismydad said:

A 34 year old is upset a 30 year old used to drink? Are you all in a cult? Anyway this isn't your fault. NTA.

OceanBreeze_123 said:

NTA. You were asked why you don't drink, you didn't even bring it up! Mary clearly lied to him about it as well since she's so invested in it. Instead of feeling contrite they lied, your sisters are trying to blame you?! Soooo scummy. Your sisters are both ah.

WaryScientist said:

NTA - first, your sister lied and then didn’t inform you.., second, it’s not like you went into detail; you just wild stories. Emily is the problem - she shouldn’t be married to someone she feels the need to lie to and it’s her fault that Danny is mad.

Ok_Path1734 said:

NTA. Danny sound childish and judgmental. It happened before Danny was around and if he is like this maybe Emily shouldn't marry him.

UPDATE:

We did have the "dreaded" talk, but first, I'd like to address some comments and concerns. My BIL asked because, while pretty much everyone drank alcohol, I didn't. It wasn't ill intended and there was no hidden agenda.

Emily, to my knowledge, never partook in any criminal behavior. They are all Orthodox Christians (I'm an Atheist), while Danny is Catholic. I don't even know if Danny knows I'm an Atheist, since we haven't really talked about religion outside of the wedding.

I don't think this had much of an impact, bit I noticed some people were wondering. We are NOT in a cult. Both of my brothers in law are lovely people. They could be considered a bit more "uptight", but they truly are good people.

Who and how many people my sister had slept with is no one's business and I will not indulge in discussing it, nor will I shame anyone for it. Yes, I did say stories from my sisters, which do include a lot of stories about other people. So, in reality, I didn't really reveal anything.

I wish by sister and BIL nothing but the best and, of course, a lasting and healthy marriage with communication. My sisters aren't idiots (well, they are, but not how you think (sibling compliment)). And no, my BIL isn't interested in me more than my sister (I can't even).

Our family dynamic is fine, it truly was, in our opinion, a stupid misunderstanding. Sorry, I know this is already long, but onto THE TALK. Basically, my sister and BIL are both idiots (with much love). Turns out my BIL was upset she didn't tell him everything, but he got over it quickly.

He didn't mention anything for almost 2 months because he thought Emily was upset with herself and the situation, so he didn't want to make it worse. Now, my sweet idiot sister though something similar, that he was upset with her, so she didn't want to make the situation worse than it already was.

So, basically, the wedding and honeymoon were "ruined" because they had an awful case of worrying about the other one and walking on eggshells around one another. My BIL was never upset with me and my sister wasn't really upset with me either. Before visiting us yesterday, Emily went out for a coffee with her friend Lexi (~30F). Lexi had always been... Interesting...

She's one of those people who only care about themselves and are never happy for their friends. Don't ask me how Emily hadn't noticed. As friends do, Emily confided in Lexi and she told her Danny is probably preparing to leave her and that's why he's distant (plus that she deserved it).

So Emily went to my sister's upset and later we had the disagreement. Both Mary and Emily sincerely apologized for attacking me and to the rest of the fam for the stress. Later yesterday, they went to my sister's and Emily started crying while she thought Danny was out. Danny heard her and they finally talked it through. Their conclusion was that they were both idiots.

The cherry on top was the fact that, about a week before visiting us, Emily found out she was pregnant (pre wedding baby, I was told). So, when she went to my sister crying about a possible divorce, she told her she was pregnant. I guess that's why Mary took her side.

I apologized to both Emily and Danny for the part I played in this mess and they said what y'all said too, that I can't lie about something if I don't know I'm supposed to and that I shouldn't have been put in that position in the first place. So, as of now, Lexi is out, we're all fine and I'm getting a nibling next year.

And Danny and Emily decided to have a do over honeymoon on their anniversary next year with the BeBe (Moira Rose anyone?). All i all, probably a disappointing update for some, but I couldn't be happier with the outcome. EDIT: I thought it was about her drinking because, through Emily's crying, that's what Mary thought too.