'AITA for ruining my sister’s engagement?' 'I told her fiancé about her Vegas wedding.'
"AITA for 'ruining' my sister’s engagement by telling her fiancé she’s been married before?"
So this happened last weekend and it’s still blowing up in our family group chat. My sister (31F) got engaged to her boyfriend of about a year, “Ben” (33M). Ben is a super nice guy, a bit traditional. He’s made a few comments before about how he wants to “do things right the first time,” and how important marriage is to him.
Well, here’s the thing: my sister has been married before. Briefly. Like 6 months. She got married at 24 to some guy she met on a trip to Vegas, and they got it annulled. She never told Ben. She’s very “it doesn’t count” about it because it was short, and she doesn’t think it’s relevant anymore.
During the engagement party, I was chatting with Ben’s sister and she made a joke about how “Ben’s so lucky he found someone who’s never been married, after all the divorced women he’s dated.”
I kinda laughed awkwardly and said something like, “Yeah, well, sort of.” She asked what I meant, and I realized I’d already screwed up. So I just said, “She had a Vegas marriage once, but it was annulled. Don’t worry, they were barely married a month.”
Apparently, the sister told Ben, and Ben was pissed. He pulled my sister aside during the party, they got into a huge fight, and the night ended early. Now my sister is furious with me, saying I had no right to say anything, that it wasn’t my story to tell, and that I embarrassed her in front of his entire family.
I didn’t mean to start drama, I thought he knew. I wasn’t trying to sabotage anything. But now my sister says I ruined her engagement and might’ve wrecked her relationship. So… AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Sufficient-Lie1406 said:
What was your sister's plan? To try to keep her previous marriage from her fiance until she married him and made it difficult for him to back out, knowing his views on divorce? That's a hell of a way to start a life together. NTA.
Designer_Chef_1212 said:
NTA. She was lying to her fiance about something that clearly mattered to him. Truth was gonna come out eventually.
SquareGiraffe7373 said:
She was married and lived with a man for 6 months. It counts and it matters. That she got it annulled doesn't change the fact that she was married and lied to the man she now wants to marry. The truth was always going to come out. She was lying to him, lying to his family, pretending to be someone she isn't. That's a crappy way to start a marriage.
Educational_Bar_1809 said:
NTA. How were you to know your sister never told him she was married before. Seems like a big thing not to mention. Your sister lied to him. If her relationship is ruined it's her fault not yours.
Cold_Raccoon_6216 said:
She might think it "doesn't count," but Ben clearly had opinions on the matter. If she truly cared about Ben, with him being so open about how he felt about it, she should've done him the courtesy of telling him herself. That way he could decide his own feelings on her brief nuptials. He wasn't mad that she had been married before, he was mad that she lied about it. NTA at all.
Frankenstera said:
Honestly, I think it's primarily your sister's fault for not telling ben sooner. Especially after knowing how he is. You can't hide a lie for too long, it's bound to come out. NTA.
RealisticTemporary70 said:
Legally, annulled means it didn't happen. However, she should have told her SO, even if she doesn't tell everyone else in the world (for me, literally the only ones who know about mine are parents and siblings, and now my husband). I don't think it was your place to tell him, though. But it sounds like it was just conversation, not you being malicious, so NTA.