'AITA for saying that family heirlooms should only be given to blood relatives?' 'I care WAY too much.'

"AITA for saying that family heirlooms should only be given to blood relatives?"

My brother (30M) and I (25F) got in a bit of an argument about family heirlooms. He got engaged recently, and he gave his fiancée one of our family heirlooms as engagement ring.

Our family had those heirlooms for many decades, if not centuries for some of them, and I think that out of respect for our ancestors we should pass them down only to our children (or blood relatives if there are no children). He thinks that it doesn’t really matter, that I care way too much, it was just convenient to already have a ring available for him. His fiancée doesn’t even wear it because it’s too big and valuable…

To me it isn’t about blood family being more important than the family you form, I’m married myself and my husband is the most important person in my life, it’s just about remembering our roots and honoring our family’s traditions.

I also don’t think that spouses shouldn’t be able to use them, it’s more about ownership. My mother used some of those heirlooms for example, but she never considered them hers, as they are from my father’s family, and she stopped wearing them after they divorced.

Also before anyone asks, I didn’t say anything about this to his fiancée, she didn’t do anything wrong and I definitely don’t want her to feel bad for something that is out of her control. So, AITA for saying tp: his?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

OkManufacturer767 said:

You are entitled to your own opinion. Your brother is free to consider his wife family. I hope you do too. The ring is a symbol of marriage.

LetterheadAdvanced91 said:

YTA no way you can police who gets family stuff like that especially when it’s his ring and his life. Like yeah roots are cool but it’s not some museum piece locked in a vault forever. If your bro wants to pass that vibe to his fiancée that’s on him. You gotta chill a bit with the rules or you’ll just end up looking like the heirloom gatekeeper nobody asked for.

Purple-Ad541 said:

"Family heirlooms should only be passed to blood relatives." "This isn't about blood family being more important." Girl pick a struggle you're contradicting yourself three paragraphs in and YTA.

lemon_charlie said:

YTA, he considers his fiancée family and her not being blood isn't excluding her in his eyes. Would you view any long term partner you have as not family?

radditorbiker said:

YTA. You're casting negativity on his impending union. If they stay together forever and have kids, the heirloom will be passed down to a blood relative, and it will stay in the family. Your concern that this won't happen is routed in your doubt of the longevity of their relationship and any opinions on that you should keep to yourself.

saaatchmo said:

YTA - Whew. What about to their child (who is now 50/50 "blood" or grandchild with 25% "blood")? She is "family" the moment the ring is placed on her finger in matrimony, even if not a "pure-blood" by your standard, Voldemort.

This is what heirlooms are passed down for, and the recipient has chosen a fitting special use which the family member (and recipient) both are probably honored by. I have a feeling she's going to have a hard time getting your approval completely unnecessarily, and it doesn't have to be that way.