"AITA for saying I wish I had pursued a blue collar job?"
I (29F) work as an accountant and have two four-year degrees, both of which I paid for myself with a combination of loans, scholarships, Pell Grants, and cash from working three jobs. In addition, I donated plasma, participated in research studies for cash, and sometimes ate out of the trash from one of my jobs just to get by.
One of my coworkers (35F) works in marketing. Her husband (38M) works in a machine shop. She went to school for her degree in her late twenties, and we've talked a lot about our different backgrounds.
Recently, we were talking about welders since our company is currently in the process of hiring a few. I mentioned that I originally wanted to go to trade school to be a welder after high school, but my parents insisted I go the "traditional" four-year college route.
She asked me to clarify, and I explained that my first degree turned out to be a dead-end, and I ended up with a job I loved that couldn't pay my bills. I later went back for accounting, which pays the bills but isn't something I enjoy. Honestly, I feel like I would've been further ahead in life if I had pursued a blue collar job instead of listening to my parents and spending years on a degree I couldn't use.
What I said offended her, and she told me never to say that to someone who actually works in the trades. She also said that the term "blue collar" is offensive. I was kind of taken aback, because in my family (mostly teachers and lineworkers, although my dad is a pharmacist), "blue collar" was just the standard term we used for someone in the trades.
I never meant it as an insult, and I don't think the trades are beneath me or easier than what I do. I just meant that if I had gone to trade school from the beginning, I would've potentially had years under my belt at a lucrative job without seven years worth of traditional loans and financial stress.
What I said clearly upset upset her, so I'm wondering if I came across as condescending or elitist without realizing it. We also work in an industry that is notoriously dismissive of people who work in the trades, so maybe she thought I was speaking from that perspective. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
keesouth said:
NTA it feels like your coworker is ashamed of her husband's job and is, taking it out on you.
ConflictGullible392 said:
Blue collar is not an insult. Whether you’re right that you would have been better off in a blue collar job is debatable, but also beside the point. NTA.
West_House_2085 said:
Calling me blue collar or a manual laborer doesn't offend me. I am a blue collar manual laborer. And a lot of blue collar workers don't think much of office workers either. Yay for all of us people looking down on all the others of us people! NTA.
ScarletNotThatOne said:
NTA. Blue collar is not an offensive term.
Peep_Power_77 said:
NTA. I am the proud daughter, sister, cousin, and niece of mechanics, electricians, iron workers, factory workers, etc. etc. They all wear their blue collars with pride. It is not an offensive term.
And I don't see how you saying you wished you'd gone into a trade instead of accounting could possibly be construed as offensive or condescending. (By the way, you're only 29, it's not too late to change course one more time if pursuing a trade would give you a more satisfying life.
starry_nite99 said:
NTA. Sounds more like she’s insecure or ashamed her husband works a blue collar job...