"AITA for saying if you break, you buy?"
I recently hosted a dinner party for my friends and I allowed them to bring their significant others and plus ones.
One of my best friends of many years brought her boyfriend whom I have never met until now. During said party, her boyfriend wanted to show off his ability to do a handstand, effectively knocking into one of my tables and shattering a lot of expensive pottery and glassware. No one was hurt but everything was shattered beyond repair.
My best friend apologized effusively and I said it was fine I was just wanted the items that were damaged to be replaced. I’d like to clarify that the items were expensive for what they were (vases/ornamental bowls) because they were made by small artists but they were not expensive overall. I’d reckon $40-80 per item he broke, and he broke three.
He also has a stable job and is more than monetarily able to replace the items from the original sellers. I would also like to specify that this party had more of a classy/dinner party vibe. No one was drinking excessively. All my friends are in their mid to late twenties and her boyfriend was actually older (early thirties).
However, he seemed to be unable to read the room throughout the whole party and just had such a hyper energy, hence the random showing off of the handstand. This is also why I didn’t put away everything because I believe if he didn’t do the handstand nothing would have happened to the decor.
My friend asked if instead her boyfriend could just replace the items with stuff from IKEA or Marshall’s. I said no as I want the original items that were broken. She responded that I was being unreasonable asking for such expensive vases and that it was an accident. I pointed out how preventable the accident was. AITA for asking for replacements for what was broken if it was expensive and an accident?
Here's what you had to say to OP:
PrestigiousPossom wrote:
You are definitely NTA as long as you tried to handle the situation gracefully, which it sounds like you did! We all know what it's like to feel out of place and act a bit weird because of it, but a handstand is quite the escalation! I think it's very fair to have him pay for it. If he wanted to do a handstand so badly, why didn't he find a safe space to do it where he couldn't break things?
CallMeASinner wrote:
My then 3-year-old broke a picture frame at my best friend's mom's house while playing. He went up and said sorry, I found a similar one on Amazon (as that’s where she got it) within 5 min and had it ordered, even though she said it was fine and not to bother, she’s like I’m the one that gave him the toy he was swing around that knocked into it.
I tried to get as close to what she had (it was not a custom piece, but if it had been…I’d have been asking where she got it, and bought the exact replacement there too). Because that’s what you do when you damage someone’s home, accidents happen but you still fix the loss. At the closest version possible. You’re NTA.
In my example. My 3-year-old was being a 3-year-old. This “guest” was also being a 3-year-old, and your friend is beyond rude for suggesting cheaper replacements.
ZomB-Boy wrote:
Absolutely NTA. Yeah, accidents happen, but that doesn't make him any less responsible. If i went out and accidentally crashed into someone else's car, it would be on me and my insurance to cover the damages. Also, what grown adult shows off with a handstand at a dinner party. He should cover the amount that was damaged, and IKEA isn't going to cut it.
gravitational_lens wrote:
You’re not being unreasonable, and her boyfriend is wild. What sane person would try to parody Jackie Chan near decorated dinner tables? He absolutely owes you money or replacements for everything he broke. Your friend has no leg to stand on here; she brought this catastrophe of a human into your home, she’s complicit. NTA.
friendlily wrote:
My daughter is 11 and her friends know not to do stupid stuff that breaks my things. I would keep pushing her until she pays you. She can shake down her immature boyfriend for money. NTA.
swillshop wrote:
NTA. Hold firm. Even if it was a true accident (as opposed to a preventable one), it is still the responsibility of the person who caused the damage to make the other person 'whole'. Ikea is not a substitute for original artists' pottery.
The guy needs to make you 'whole'. If he's going to choose to do handstands in spaces not suited to that, he is also choosing to take full responsibility for the consequences.
Plastic-Ad_5171 wrote:
NTA. He needs to pay up, and if he doesn’t, take him to small claims court for the damages of everything, including the table if he broke that too! And he’s not allowed back.
wowgamertbc wrote:
NTA! Who does a handstand in the middle of someone else's living room....that's just bizarre and then breaks a bunch of stuff...moronic is just one word I would use. Give them an invoice for the damage and tell them you expect payment in due course. Depending on the cost it could be a small claims court.
Ghostpantherassault wrote:
I'm sorry.
WHAT?!??!!?!?!
HER BOYFRIEND DID A WHAT??!?!?
NTA OP. I am very upset for you. Nope, he's gotta take responsibility. I would definitely get the bill on this guy. That's just completely negligent to the highest degree.
Spare-Shirt42 wrote:
NTA. Doing a handstand... especially at a perfect stranger's house...is a stupid thing to do. Doesn't matter if you're sober or drunk.
As the saying goes: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes