'AITA for saying 'it's about time' when my parents told me they're getting divorced?'
"AITA for saying 'it's about time' when my parents told me they're getting divorced?"
I (24M) am the youngest of 4 and have 3 brothers. My half brother David (29M) and my brothers Woody and Wade (twins, 27Ms). My parents (64M and F) met in college and have been together a total of 45 years
Don't get me wrong I love my dad. However he wasn't a good husband to my mom. A few years before they got married my dad spent a year in jail. What for? He hooked up with a professional and got arrested for solicitation. My mom stayed with him throughout the whole thing and eventually they got married
A couple of years later they started trying for a baby but were having a hard time. I'm sure you noticed that I said my brother David was my half brother. That's because during this time my dad had a one night stand and got another woman pregnant and David was the result.
My mom found out because David's mom showed up at our house with him after he was born saying that her and my dad had to raise him because her husband didn't want to raise a kid that wasn't his.
My parents ended up having a huge argument about it and my dad told her that it wouldn't have happened if she'd given him a baby when he asked. Somehow my mom stayed with him and obviously eventually they had my other 2 brothers and me
Unfortunately that wasn't the last time he cheated. A few years ago he started having an affair with a coworker of his. I remember when my mom first found out. They had a huge argument about it and I heard my dad say, "Well maybe if you started sleeping with me more I wouldn't have to go to someone else for it".
About 2 years ago my mom found out that the affair never stopped. She didn't even bother confronting him about it. I could tell she was just done. About a week ago my parents asked the entire family to come over to their house.
It was me and my brothers and our aunts and cousins. My mom had announced that she asked my dad for a divorce and my dad said that he's agreed to it because he loves her and wants her to be happy.
Everyone had their own reactions and comments to it. I leaned back in my seat and mumbled "It's about damn time" and heard my brothers bust out laughing and I kinda made a face like "Oh dang! Did I say that out loud?"
My dad asked what I meant by that and I was honest and said that growing up I always thought that their relationship was toxic and wondered how mom managed to put up with him and stayed with him for so long.
He got quiet and left the room. My brothers and a few of our cousins don't think I'm wrong while our aunts and the rest of our cousins think that I just don't understand because I've never been in love. My aunts even said that it was a different time when my parents got together and that I'll understand as I get older how these things work. So AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
" I just don't understand because I've never been in love."
Obviously your father never has either.
NTA.
Yeah wtf ... thats not love. That dude actually hates his wife. What a POS that has a tantrum when he's finally called out on his behaviour 😅
NTA. Your father chose to cheat, your mother chose to stay, and they both knew what was happening the entire time. You’re not an AH for not participating in their polite fiction.
Your dad should feel ashamed for cheating. He can’t claim to love her while consistently stepping outside their marriage like that. It is about time they get that divorce! You don’t owe him an apology for stating the obvious truth.
OP and their siblings have suffered fools their entire life. They have been caught in the middle of Dads excuses for not being capable of leaving it in his damn pants. Now that Dad has to face himself in the mirror, he doesn't like what he is seeing. He is so selfish, he can't fathom that his kids, who were forced to live through his choices, saw what was going on and that his choices not only impacted Mom, they impacted his kids.
Dad did this. This is one of the consequences of his actions. OP doesn't have to "wait until they are older" to "understand". OP has a complete understanding of the situation and the impact it has had on them right now. OP has every right to feel the way they do about the situation that they had no say in being a part of. Dads behavior is his and his alone to own.
NTA, you said it for all to hear, great call out… and you’re aunt that said that is a sad weak lady if she thinks that’s what love is, she’s the one that sounds like the love rookie by making that statement.
NTA sounds like they were all hoping you guys would be sad and beg them to stay together. Sounds like dad thought he would have people backing him up and then realize that everyone could see his toxicity. The mental image of himself and the respect he thought he had; he just realized was in his head.
How dare you call your dad out on his piece of trash behaviour! He was trying to act like the caring considerate man being blindsided by an unexpected divorce! You've sunk his ship. 🤣 How dare you make him feel uncomfortable about the awful way he treated your mother.
Your aunt needs counseling and an intervention if she thinks thats an acceptable demonstration of love and not outright emotional abuse and manipulation of the person you're supposed to love.