"AITA for saying my in-laws can wait to be paid?"

About three years ago, I found out I was pregnant with baby number 4. My now husband's first baby. I had a car that would fit me and the kids easily and since my husband doesn't ever really go anywhere with us, told him that for the time being this car would be fine for us. Before the baby was born he and his parents decided that I needed a different car.

My husband brought it up multiple times but I told him until we could afford a new car, we'll be ok with what we have. I was upside-down on my car but was more than half way done paying it off. My in-laws are very well off. Everything they have was paid with cash. I got a call from my husband one day that his parents gave him $20,000 for a new car and he got one and needed me to come sign the paperwork.

I told him again that I didn't want to because it wasn't our money and I didn't want to have to pay anyone back. He said it would all be fine and just come sign the paperwork, the car was already ours. After fighting over this for over a year I was tried so I came by and signed the paperwork. Not only was this a car that we couldn't afford, but it wasn't even one I wanted for my family.

He and his parents picked out the car. Fast forward to now, my husband and his parents are expecting me to pay back the $20,000 that they gave him for the car with our tax return. I use the tax return to pay off other debts that came up throughout the year, credit cards, paying a little extra on the car payments, that kind of stuff.

I did save up about $1000 one time and gave it to them but they told me that they wanted larger payments and that every time tax season came around to just give them that. Am I wrong for telling my husband that since he and his parents decided to do this and since they're well off, they can wait or he can pay them back? My kids, my family comes first, not his parents who have plenty.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Kawaeri wrote:

Info needed. Can I ask why your husband isn’t the one paying off the car? What is his reasoning that you are the one who needs to pay it off? Didn’t his parents give the money to him?

I’m slightly confused here. Did they put it under your name? Why did he absolutely had to have you come sign the paperwork? Why didn’t he just sign it and have the car, and you use it as needed when you are all together, and you keep your car and use it when you can or have him use it? Cause that what I would have done.

OP responded:

He's not paying it off because it's "my" car and he did say that his parents gave him the money but later said I needed to pay them back for it. It's under my husbands name and I'm second and the car I had he didn't want to keep.

Brave-Sherbert2180 wrote:

Some parts of this need clarification. They gave you $20,000 for a new car but you still owe money on it? You are expecting a $20,000 tax refund? Sounds like this is your husband and his family's problem, not yours. They gave him $20,000 to buy a car and he bought one that you didn't want.

Also, a $20,000 tax refund with 4 kids would also mean you are purposely not claiming dependents on your W4 withholding form and you want a huge tax refund? A big tax refund is basically the government giving you back money that you overpaid during the year. Why didn't your husband just buy a used $20,000 car?

OP responded:

No I'm not expecting a $20,000 refund. I'm expected to pay back throughout the years. Give them large chunks of money until it's paid back.

Elegant_Bluebird_460 wrote:

INFO: What papers did you sign exactly? Was it to put the title in your name? Was it a loan agreement with his parents? Is his name on the car too?

OP responded:

Not the title, that's all in his name. It was so that I was the second person on the car.

Lazuli_Rose wrote:

NTA. You told them repeatedly that you did not want a new car. Your husband took money anyway and then nagged you into signing paperwork. This will be a pattern in your marriage. And hard feelings are going to continue to build because they don't understand that they did not do you a favor, they just added to your financial burden.

I would tell husband & in laws that you knew you couldn't afford a new car but they went behind your back and got one anyway. So either it's a gift or they can just accept what you can pay when you can. You have a husband problem.

hadMcDofordinner wrote:

Sell the car and don't ever let your husband force you into playing IL games ever again. Make sure you keep your money in a separate account from his money and don't inform your ILs about your financial situation.

NTA but your husband was complicit with his parents in whatever this car "deal" was really about. HE can pay them back since HE accepted the loan from them. Do not pledge your tax returns to his parents.

aggressive_cup8452 wrote:

I hope for you that what you signed was not a loan between you and his parents for 20k. If it was not. Don't pay anything. This is between your husband and his parents. And take the argument that his parents have plenty off the table. It's not relevant and also doesn't sound accurate if they're trying to fleece you for money. NTA. But be careful. Sounds like it's you and your kids.. vs your husband and his parents.

PositiveAtmosphere13 wrote:

Give back the car. Let them sell it to get back their money. If they lost money on the deal, too bad. They shouldn't have bought it.

Kind of simple.